It's back
The memories...
That for so long
I lied about
To everyone
Including
Myself

The tears are forming
Once again
Even though
Everything ended
Over a year ago

But I never dealt with
The sadness
Only the anger

Now
I find myself
asking why
I let him force me
into everything...
Sometimes,
Close to rape,
But never quite that far

I wonder
how much
Of my past
Will be used
Against me...

And how much of it
Will stay imbedded
With in me
Refusing
To leave
And stay
In the past