WARNING: RANDOM WEIRD HUMOUR TYPE STUFF Disclaimer: I don't own LoTR but this really isn't about it except for some random thing and besides, do I LOOK as if I'm JRR Tolkein?

Author's note: yes I know Frank and all the other characters in Watcher died, but well. I wanted to reincarnate them as lamp posts but it didn't work. So they just came back alive, savvy?

AND WE BEGIN.

One day, Frank decided to go for a walk. He needed the exercise and plus, it was a dangerous route so he'd have an excuse to get a harness. "QUIAMEEEP!" He yelled his goodbye to Mallietta and Ermitrecamille. "MRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHLLLLLLLLLNNNNNNNGGGGG!" Frank was decidedly confuzzled at Mallietta's reply. He strode out the door in gallant, wide steps. Er. no. Truthfully, he waddled out the door in tiny, penguin-like waddles. "SQUIALAMINGAMREAVAFKFDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!" Ah. Mallietta was so clever. But Frank really couldn't be bothered getting his hard hat. So he just said, "Flmar." (Which means, I forgot to remember [1])

Everyone stared at him. He's not wearing a hardhat! Rumours spread like blue sludge around the town about the courageous and. well. rather stupid daredevil. Frank eventually (after around 2.5826831 seconds) got incredibly annoyed.

"SBARMELACKIN DOOTAKND BLERGNALSS TERNALD!" (Translation: Hibernation is good for your health! [2])

Every penguin/seal/random thing sweatdropped. And o.O'd.

Then a piece of fluff that my brother missed when he was cleaning up yelled, "LOOK! IT'S A BIRD WITH A HEAD!" [3]

Frank's expression was -_-;;.

Then another random penguin dude screamed, "IT'S RESISTENTIALISM!"

"Wot.?"

"RESISTENTIALISM! THE THEORY THAT INANIMATE OBJECTS DEMONSTRATE HOSTILE BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS US! THIS WONDROUS THEORY HAS BEEN PROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED!"

Everyone sweatdropped even more.

A random computer screen came up and oohed and aahed. And then it said, "1101001001111010010010!" (Translation: Spiffy like chikins! [4])

So Frank began his walk. Then this weird random author zwoinked in from nowhere (Like Homura and Zenon and Shien!) and proclaimed the great and wondrous proclamation: "TRAINS ARE HEAVIER THAN BUSSES SO THEY DON'T FLY AWAY AS OFTEN!" [5] Frank sweatdropped and tried to continue his walk, but the weird/psycho/crazy/retarded author wouldn't let him.

"Smarknlenasxs," He mumbled at the stubborn author. (Translation: Get outta me way.)

"NEVER! I SHALL DIE BEFORE I LET YOU GO ALIVE! EVIL SAURON OF MORDOR, YOUR EVILNESS SHALL BE VANQUISHED FOREVER! AND SO GOLLUM SHALL RULE ALL OF FAIRYLAND!"

*gasp* *GASP* *gasp* *other random gasps* What will Frank do next? How will he get rid of the retarded author (namely, me)? How will he survive. THE WALK!?

[1] Quote ( Sandy [2] Quote ( Akura [3] Quote ( Shazza [4] Quote ( Hannah [5] Quote ( Annie

Author's note: Not quite as random as Watcher, but it shall be. Now this in incredibly nonsensical, I know, so just. don't blame me XP. Perhaps you might have learnt some penguinese by the end of this weird, weird story. Or not. Anyway look out for the next incredibly random and retarded chapters, you don't want to miss them! *coughsplutterchokedie* Errr.. No. Review for a figurative cookie! ~Karasu