Do you take it black?

With sugar?

Or do you prefer an artificial sweetener.

To go with your artificial personality?

Consider the annoying angst-ridden characters

Who flock to their local coffee shop daily

Only to marinate in their existential dilemma

You're so cool; would you like some coffee with that?

Maybe you could sit over there in the corner

You could pretend to be someone important

With book in your hand

And a hot cup of coffee by your side

Yes, you are the intellectual

You are the only one of your kind

You are what makes philosophy such bullshit.