A Story About Pain And Love;

And How Just A Little Kindness Can Save Us All.

~ By Sakin-chan ~


It's dark. I'm watching the moon from a rooftop somewhere downtown. It's red tonight. The colour of blood. I'm thinking about the past.

I've lived through a lot of stuff. Been around the block a few times, you know. Battered and bruised from a hell of a ride. Emphasis on HELL. Life's a real bitch – especially when one loses it.

You don't know me. I could be anyone on the street. I could be the girl sitting next to you in Chemistry. I could be the kid on the paper-round. I could be the drunkard in the bar, the junkie in the doorway, the thief in the lingerie-department; I could be your very own girl-friend who you just had sex with. There's only one thing about me that always remains constant: my eyes. Big, dark-brown, innocent-looking. Deceiving. When you see my eyes, and know me for what I really am, then you are already dead. Your life is already over.

My name…? That is not important. I have no name. It died along with the 'old' me. It doesn't matter now. It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing does, except the next mission… the next fight… the next kill… the next time I survive… the next time I cheat Death. I know I cannot do this forever… that sooner or later I must face up to Death… but it can wait for a while. First, I have to become free. Free from the vicious circle of bloodshed, lies, pain and love. Free from slavery and abuse. Sometimes, I fear the only way out is by ending it all; a simple shot to the head, or a strong dose of something that can put me to sleep forever… but I must not give up. So many depend on me for release from the spiral of fear that we are all caught in. I cannot give up.

Pain is all ravaging, all destroying.

Love is worse.

You can call me Deka.