Yearning

So many nights I lay awake
curled up and staring,
a pressure in my chest
that has no release.

Tell me why I stare at the stars?
So spellbinding and untouchable and enchanting.
Their silent voices promising me
what I always want
yet can never have.

Tell me why I dream of them?
The screams and shouts so angry with whom?
The ball that chases me, traps me in darkness with her,
an innocent façade steeped in darkness, deceit and evil,
smiling because she'll never let me leave.

Tell me why I yearn?
Why this pressure has no release?
Like a balloon filled to far I'm stretched out thin.
One more pressure I'm sure I'll pop and everyone will know
my highest drams
my lowest fears
my deepest regrets
my brightest hopes.

Just a needle or a pin
the balloon will go
I'm made of thicker skin
(so I like to say)
my dreams wait in the stars.