1AN. This I wrote in the very beginning. The way it's written doesn't show me today but... I'm not going to change it. This was after me and my boyfriend started going out. I had asked my dad if it was okay if I went out with him and my dad said yes but afterwards my dad was talking about me to my mom almost every night and saying that I caused his chest pains and high blood pressure. He was also not very accepting of me going out with Brian and it hurt me cus I wanted him to be okay with what I was doing. (Luckily he's fine with it now.)
Thanks to: Full Collapse for the comment! Sorry that you have to go through that. It sucks a whole lot.
break me, burn me, make me cry. I know you don't mean it. You never have. But it happens. Happens again and again. Maybe I'm just soft or a little too emotional. I'll never know though because I don't know myself. Again I find myself in tears. I thought those had left me. Why will you not let me be happy? Never mind you don't notice. Don't notice the pain you put me through... have put me through. I do hide it but does that make it my fault? I guess not. The same way your ill-taken words aren't your fault. Though they sure sound ill. GO ahead break my life up. Crumble it to pieces. You know I always forgive because you don't know. Would it be better if I screamed, cursed, cried in your face? What is there to do? Hopefully you will see. Hopefully one day you will see. The way you tear out my heart ad ripe it to shreds. The way you constantly show me that you have little respect or trust in me. Until then... I won't mind longer than a day. 'Cus I'm a pushover for you A pushover for you because... one day I will live on my own and. Hopefully that one day... what you did will help me. And if not than... hopefully... once more I will forget and forgive. Never the other way around. Never the way we're suppose to go.
_(2nd part was written cus I still felt hurt)_
My friends, my family, my boyfriend. Things that matter the most to me. Tear away the ones that aren't you. I will let you. I understand. Understand your point of view. You want to keep[ me to yourself as long as you can. I can see. see that you do give me more that you could be handing me. For that I thank you. Thank you a lot. I love you, love while you hurt me with things that you don't notice. But don't dwell on that. I don't care much. I don't want you feeling bad. Just go your way. I know I'll be free when I'm older. Hopefully you'll allow me that. And hopefully then... my pain won't drive me away. Won't make me fear my own decisions. I know I fear them already. I know how to live my life. Know my goals and limits. You taught me them. I can try them out later. I'll wait. Hope I won't disappoint you. Hope you won't hate me. I love you. I notice that through my pain