There's More Than One Way To Cry
Silent, I sit, moving with the rhythm of the rain
Eyes closed, I listen as the notes slowly fade
Moonlight beams through my windowpane
Bestowing glory onto to my sacred blade
Anticipation floods my gut
Against these feelings , I cannot win
Hands shake as I prepare to cut
Craving to endure the razor on my skin
Gracefully, it slides across pale flesh
Down my spine, spirals an icy chill
I press down firmer, the hurt I must refresh
Intently watching the crimson droplets spill
Heart thumping, shorter breaths of hollow air
Adrenaline pumps through my rigid veins
To halt in these actions, I wouldn't dare
Bound to this damned instrument through invisible chains
Harder, I plunge the glistening strips
Tears explode, drenching my hand
Deeper I dig; all rationality slips
The thrill is more than I can stand
Slowly, I come crashing down from my high
Sucking in all remnants of my sweet self-affliction
The sickness of my behavior, I will not deny
In a world of suffering and loss, it is my addiction
The blood has clotted
All that remain are stains
To the sink I trotted
Desperate to wash away my pain
Treading outside to clear my mind
I let open wounds kiss the rain
And smile as a façade of happiness is all I find
It's that one thing in life that I long to attain
I know it isn't right
My goal is not to die
I just need to bleed tonight
Because I don't know how to cry