Jesse pulled herself into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. In two swift movements she had removed both her shirt and pants. She stood before the mirror looking at the well faded scars, it was time to open them again. She pulled open the medicine cabinet and yanked out a razor. She looked at the blade and smiled. It would be a long night.
She discarded the rest of her clothing and drew a warm bath, the sharp blade sitting by the edge of the tub. When the white tub was filled, Jesse climbed in. "First things first." She murmured as she washed the blade with soap and water. A single tear fell from her hazel eye as she dug the metal into her pale thigh. Crimson droplets formed around the edges of the blade and streamed into the warm water. As soon as one cut was made she moved to another area, and then another. Each slice releasing more and more of the mental anguish she had dealt with earlier that day. The physical pain helped but the blood did more. Just to see it bead and slide down her leg meant that she was alive, not some lifeless object that people used and then threw away.
When she finished her legs were marked numerous times by the razor. The bath already had a slight tint of pink in it. Jesse's hazel eyes went to her stomach. She was only finished with her legs. Her pale had reached into a jar beside the tub and grabbed a pin. She couldn't have deep cuts on her stomach; one could break and show blood through a shirt. Putting some pressure on the sharp pin, Jesse started dragging it. It only took a few second but to her it seemed like a lifetime had gone past since blood showed up. She touched the blood with her finger as if checking to see if it really was hers. Jesse blinked and started again and again, until her chest stung and had six medium sized gashes in them. She looked herself over and grabbed the bar of soap again and washed each cut. When she got out she would make sure to wash each cut again with hydrogen peroxide to kill anything else that might have been living on the razor or pin.
Jesse looked around and sighed. This was the first time in three months that she had ever used a blade. It felt good to be able to feel something again instead of the same old numb feeling. She counted the marks and smiled. Thirteen was her lucky number. Jesse stood and drained the tub. Blood still beaded around the edges of each cut and stuck out painfully clear again her pale skin. More tears fell from her eyes.
"Forgive me."