3/06/04
Why can't I forget?
Forget you and get you out of my head.
All you did was ruin my life.
Why?
Why did I trust you?
Why did you lie?
Why did you have to try
Try to break John and I up?
Why did I have feelings for you?
Why did I let you in my life?
Why couldn't you have just left us alone?
All these questions and more.
Why won't they stop?
I know I need closure, but.
But, why did it have to be this way?
You were so sweet and caring
But, at the same time lying and manipulative.
I thought you were a good guy and.
And that you cared about John.
You told me that you would never go out with me.
Then why did you try to?
I know that was your motive.
You know that too.
You were jealous of John from the first day I met you.
Why can't I forget you?
I did it so many other times before.
What makes you, this any different?
I hate you!
I hate what you did.
I hate what I almost did.
I am so glad that I didn't,
Didn't let my feelings control my actions.
If I didn't.
I would feel pain,
And probably would've ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I feel hurt and betrayal every time I hear your name.
I told you things that no one else knew.
I trusted you.
I confided in you.
I even got to a point that I thought
Thought that I was in love with you.
Now I know,
Know most of the truth and have John back.
What hurts the most is that you
Lied,
Mislead me,
And you played with my emotions.
But, the thing that hurts the most is.
Is that I lost a friend.
Or a person that I thought
Thought would be a good friend to me for a long time.
Now as I sit here and think
Think about you, I realize if I let
Let this get to me then the feelings will never go away.
I hate having feelings toward two different guys at the same time.
One guy is my soul mate,
My love of my life.
And the other is you.
A lying and manipulative person that.
That for some reason I still have feelings for.
Every morning I remind myself that
That John is it and how happy I am with him
And that you could and never made me feel this way.
I hate doing that, but that is the only way
Way to not make the same mistake twice.
I love John and that has and will never change.
So, please help me let you go.
Help me have my closure.
Help me move on.