~* 1am *~

Tic toc tic toc, that was the only sound she heard, the sound of time passing by her shoulder, yet, it was one sound that she hate the most, . She lay on her bed, trying to go to sleep, trying to find her old loving world, trying to be calm, but she couldn't. Her mind was a mess; her head was a volcano; her heart was in a 100m race. As the silence holds still, She could feel her body was shaking and her heart was shivering. No! Her heart screamed. She couldn't take it. She couldn't take the silence; she couldn't take the pressure; she couldn't take that annoying sound. 1a.m., only 1a.m., only 5 minutes had passed by but it seemed forever. Forget it, I am breaking the promise. She climbed out of the bed, pulled her clothes out of the closet and put them on. No, no, stop it. Don't go. You shouldn't. You shouldn't. Her logic tried to pull her back but it was too late.

Wind howled in her ears; cars zoomed right pass her; street light shone on her. Faster, faster, faster. Her hair was flying in the air and images were going by in light speed. Everything was a blur. She knew she forgot to bring her glasses; she knew she could barely identify things outside of 10meters; she knew if she doesn't watch out, she might going to get into serious trouble but none of them concerned her. She wanted danger; she sought for fear; she hoped to disappear. It was late, really late for a girl to be out, but this was her only chance. Only chance to see the true darkness; only chance to let everything go; only chance to to see the colour of her world; only chance to see the difference between real and virtual.

Finally, she stopped at the end of the road. She could not go further. Her body was trembling; her heart was drumming; her feet was walking toward the sand, the rocks. She started to breath faster and faster; soon those breaths turned into sobs. Everything started to fall apart. She couldn't control anything anymore. Tears soon filled her eyes and burred a vision even more. She knew she had to pull everything together but she couldn't. What is wrong? Why am I acting this way? Pull it together. Pull it together. Her world had shattered into pieces and scattered all over the place. Closely, she held herself together and glued everything back. It was hard but she had to. She took one deep breath after the other and forced the tears to go back where they belong.

She starred at the ocean and looked deep into her heart, her world. The blue sky was now covered by grey clouds, armies of them. The green grass was now fading and slwly turning into grey. The birds and the trees were no longer to be seen. Gone, everything was gone. Only, darkness and coldness got left behind. She tried to replace the clouds; paint the grass; and bringing trees and birds; however, nothing worked. The new clouds, grass, birds and trees didn't last long. No, they didn't last at all. She couldn't never go back to the way it was. What was gone, was gone. This was what she has now and there was nothing she can do about it. She smirked. She had to accept the fact that things had changed; she had to accept the fact that she had changed; she had to accept the fact that she was now everything but innocent and pure; she had to accept the fact that the angel that use to be there, keeping everything in order was now gone. She wanted to walk further, walk till she could no longer feel anything but logic again held her back. Coldness silently creeped into her empty heart and reminded her. This is real. This is who I am but only this mask has what others want. Happiness... yes.. it is happy... and it will always be happy..

A/N: I know the more I write the worse I become. However, give me a Review won't hurt right? hehe.. thanks you for reading