The adventures of Sodom the Angel.

-

"Guard duty blows," Sodom moaned for the millionth time. Literally.

Abbadon glanced at his watch.

"Only five thousand years to go," he assured.

The garden below was tranquil, calm and perfect in all ways. Sodom wandered down the path that led up the hill to the tree, and checked the heavy chain was still tight around the golden gates. It was. It had been for the last million years. Wandering back, he found Abbadon slothing against the trunk, basking in the late evening haze. Not that you could tell exactly; it was always a peaceful, summer evening in the Garden of Eden. He joined him, resting the crossbow against his leg. His wings gave offered a comfortable pillow.

"This is nice," he yawned after a hundred years.

He stretched and blinked.

"Abbadon?"

"Yea, Sodom?"

"What's that? Up in the tree?"

"Where?"

"There. It looked like a snake thing."

They thought thoughtfully. Something about a snake twitched at their memories of angel college. They got a distinct feeling it shouldn't be up a tree.

"I think it's nibbling that stalk."

"Yeah. Hey, snakey!" Sodom yelled. "Get outta our tree!"

The nibbling of the serpent ceased as the stalk creaked and then snapped. The released fruit sailed down; 'thwaping' through the golden leaves, and landed smack-bang in the angel's open, yelling mouth. He staggered back, spitting it out, and choking. A large chunk was missing from the fruit where it fell to the grass.

Sodom gasped, choking. Abbadon leapt to his feet and smacked him on the back. He coughed, loosening the chunk, and swallowed it.

"Ah," he smiled. "That wasn't so bad."

And then the ground opened up below him. Where there had been emerald green grass and rich loam top soil over a thick layer of clouds, now was but an empty sucking void, pulling him down.

He scrabbled on the edge, hands clawing helplessly at the soft earth. Abbadon grabbed his arm with both hands, placed both feet on either side of the hole, and pulled, but it was no use: the coldness of the void had reached his knees as he sank further and further into the dark.

"Let me go!" he yelled. "I'll only pull you in too!"

"Not in a million years," Abbadon gasped through gritted teeth.

A pair of sandals appeared at the edge of the hole and a kind, bearded face smiled reassuringly down at him.

"Jesus?"

"Don't worry," Christ assured. "I saw the whole thing; complete accident. I know some people up in high places: I'll pull some strings, have you back in no time."

"Back from where?"

"Earth. Lovely place: the locals are to die for. Just try not to do anything too sinful or I may find it a little hard to bring you back."

The cold had consumed all of his chest and wings, and was slurping hungrily around his neck.

"Let go!"

"I'm putting my friend's soul in your hand's here, Jesus,"

"It's cool. Just remember: avoid temptation at all costs."

And then the dark gurgled up around his head, and Sodom felt no more.

-

The first thing that hit him was the spirit-matter barrier. The second thing that hit him was a world of pain. He fell for a few minutes, until he found the floor to be the third thing to hit him.

Slowly, wincing from the first pain he'd ever endured, he climbed to his feet, and was promptly hit by a fourth item, a bus.