A/N: Hey everybody. So lately, I've had my mind stuck on one girl that I am never going to get and this is the result of that. Sigh… whatever. Please do enjoy and review. Thanks. – BoarderKC
Warning: If you are homophobic or against same sex couples, don't read. I don't need any bull about this lifestyle.Cigarettes and Fairy Tales
"No one said it was going to be easy." The thin girl on the stoop looked up briefly, squinting in the light that escaped the doorway, before turning her back on the voice. She focused on the smoking cigarette between her fingers, watching with a blank expression as the smoke curled away from her hand.
Shaking her head, she brought the cigarette to her mouth and with shaking hands, took a sharp inhale. "Yeah well," she exhaled. "No one said it had to be hard." Another drag. "But you just seem to make it that way, no matter what."
Shutting the door behind her, the other girl dropped on the top step beside the girl who sat clutching her knees to her chest as she smoked. "Well, jesus," she snapped, exasperated. "What do you want?"
"I don't want to push it."
"Push what?! Push us?" Red hot ash fell on the concrete between them and died to a dark gray. Silence fell as she stared at it and the smoker clutched the cancer stick to her mouth. "Are you going to answer me?"
She took a long draw on the cigarette, then stared at it shaking between her thin fingers as the smoke stung her lungs. She puffed it out, leaving a dull burning at the back of her throat. "I just want to have a nicotine fix. Is that too much to ask?"
"That stuffs going to kill you."
"That's if trying to deal with you doesn't do me in first."
"Very funny." The night air moved softly with the wind and the smell of car exhaust drifted around, mingling with the smell of cigarettes. "You know, people already talk. They already wonder about the two chicks from 12C. Why not just tell them? Why are we making it harder on us?"
"Yes, let's tell them. Let's get the hate mail. Let's get dyke written across our door in spray paint. Let's have to move out of our apartment. Just like what happened with you and what's her face. The slut."
"Yeah, her." She flicked away the cigarette and lit up another. "Yes, I want to run. Just like before."
"It's not always like that."
"Why do you want to tell everyone, or even anyone? I mean, we've been okay this way. I had stopped smoking and everything." She brought the second cigarette to her lips and took a massive drag. "This is just fine with me. Why can't you be happy with me?"
She rubbed her forehead, annoyance setting it. "I love you, but this is as far from happy as anyone can get. I want you, but I don't know what you're doing. Here's one minute where you want a roll in bed like you love me and then just for the sake of my sanity, you're here outside, smoking a cigarette and treating me like just a questioning lay."
"I don't want you! Get a clue!" The night silence was shattered as she screamed the last statement and as it hung in the air, she turned away, bringing the cigarette back to her mouth.
Her companion swallowed hard. "Alright. You've questioned, you've experimented and now you can return to the wonderful world of penises, straight romances, 2.5 kids and you can be the one writing dyke across my door." Standing, she crossed her arms and looked up at the sky with a shaking head. "I should have known," she whispered before turning to go inside.
"Wait." The smoker ground the cigarette and stood. "Please." Her lover stopped and her arms across her chest tightened, but she didn't turn around. "I don't know what I want. B-but…" Her voice wavered and her mouth craved for another cigarette. "But you're the closest to whatever that is." Her voice grew and her lover's head dipped forward, biting back a burning in her chest. "I don't know what to do. This isn't some gay fairy tale where we get to fall in love with no protest from anyone. Guess what, no one's going to be okay with that," she spat. "And I'm not okay with that." She collapsed on the top step once again and with trembling hands brought a third cigarette to her lips and lit it.
The other girl sat beside her again and stared out into the street with a small smile over her mouth. "No, only the guys get the fairy tales. They are the fairies after all." The smoker smiled, but couldn't bring herself to laugh as she stared down at her lap. "Well, this little butch tale you've got me started on, doesn't work for me." She stood again. "Do live happily ever after, Milady. I will be staying with the Wicked Witch of the Upper West Side tonight. At least Melissa never messed with my head." She turned and her footsteps echoed to the door of the building. "If you don't find your Prince Charming while your sitting here, lemme know." With that, the door behind the smoker shut softly.
With one last long drag, she ground the final cigarette into the step. "So much for happily ever after."
And…you know, I don't even know. Just call me a sap and shake your head at me. But that's it. Please review. No flames.