Another Slam
Here I am writing another slam this is addictive like a bad habit you can't
quit and pretty soon I'm gonna end up writing all my shit down here for
someone else's eye's to get it off my chest-this subject of poetry is
selfish don't you think?
You get a bunch of shitty experiences and try to make people feel sorry for
you when they don't give a fuck and wouldn't until you have to show them
your little angst-filled scribbles and they just want you to be happy so
they try to treat you well when really we have all of the same problems
Fuck I wish there was some other way but talking in my head doesn't work
it never ever has no one cares no one can argue
I NEED someone to tell me I'm wrong because I am even if you agree tell me
I'm wrong tell me things I don't want to hear so I can get out this piece
of paper and write all over again
The words and the feelings please make me numb to this I don't want to know
I don't want to see or hear I love the silence for once I can just shut my
mouth and let you do the talking and the sympathizing
Do you love me, do you care because I hear that you don't-I hear you love
her you little ass I know you used to don't try to deny it I know you
better than that
Did you hear I flunked that stupid test-did you hear I moved up one pants'
size, don't care? I'll tell the fucking paper bitch it doesn't matter to
you but shit it matters to me
You see I care about you so much more than I care about me-is that fatal
because if it is I've died several times over-I wish I wasn't me I wish I
was you so I could love me so I could feel so sorry for me and hold myself
tight the whole night long I need you close to me to make me smile
If you read this remember me I was the girl you loved once before the magic
died and she told sob stories as a hobby
Did you care about me before, you don't care now about my ramblings-and if
you don't care PLEASE teach me how the FUCK you can turn your feelings off
like a faucet because I sure as hell can't
You're so talented, you're so slick-wow where have you been all my life,
where are you now-after the gap called "being with you" it's nothing but
I gained twenty pounds since last summer my mom is on my ass and I wish I
cared but dammit I just don't because I know who I am and it isn't pretty
so what's a few more pounds, some extra weight to carry, some extra burdens
to bear
I lost my lust for life the day my whole world walked out that door