6Author's Note: Yeah…this is some random one-shot short story that I felt like undertaking because I'm really bored. I won't continue it. I don't own the song; it's "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton.
A Thousand MilesMakin' my way downtown,
Walkin' fast,
Faces pass and I'm homebound.
I felt the warm air of summer blow a few tendrils of hair away from my forehead, and I sighed blissfully. My parents had invited me to come back to my old, idyllic and picturesque little town that I grew up in. Just standing outside of Dairy Queens and looking around at the familiar shops while enjoying a cookie dough ice cream was enough to bring back clear and wonderful memories of childhood. However, I did not have free time to enjoy myself. I was back for my older sister's wedding, and I, of course, had to buy her a present, perhaps a dish or silverware of some sort. She was marrying her high school sweetheart, Jonathan Mathers. And I was still single and haven't been on a date for three years.
Starin' blankly ahead,
Just makin' my way,
Makin' my way through the crowd.
Coming back here also brought memories for me of him…Ryan Caldwell. He had been my high school sweetheart, and we had been together for three years, and all through college. However, at our college graduation, he had broken things up between us. He told me that he still loved me, but couldn't marry me just yet. He still had to find himself, and bought tickets to travel around the world. God knew that probably would have taken him years. He may still be traveling right now. Who knew; the only thing I knew was that I was still madly in love with him after all these years. Of course, that would do no good now. I had no idea where he was, and how much he had changed since I last saw him four years ago.
And I need you,
And I miss you,
And now I wonder…Yes, I admitted it. I was in love with him. Ryan had been my whole world. We met in the middle of our sophomore year, when he had taken an interest in me. I had been pretty plain back then, but a fair number of boys were attracted to my intelligence and wit. I was nothing special though, with my dark brown hair and light gray eyes. Ryan had been very handsome, with neat, golden hair and sparking dark blue eyes. Every girl was attracted to him, and he had been athletic, smart, hot, and kind. What more could any fifteen year old girl want? But instead of choosing out of many of the hundreds of gorgeous girls in our year, he chose me. Plain and unpopular Natasha Lawrence.
If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles,
If I could just see you…tonight.
Oh, how I so desperately wanted to see him. So much has happened since Ryan walked out of my life. I finished up college at Yale, and then moved on to Harvard Law School. Now I was a fledgling lawyer, struggling to make my way through the top law firms in Manhattan. However, the struggling stopped a few months ago, when I was given a high promotion on a case. Now I lived in a fancy apartment in Upper Manhattan, with men asking for me every day. But none of them were good enough; none of them were Ryan.
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And wonder if you ever think of meI had a strange, sinking feeling inside my stomach that Ryan already moved on with his life. He probably snagged himself a girlfriend somewhere from France or Germany right after he left me, and maybe he was even married and with children. Those thoughts made my stomach churn uncomfortably even more. I always imagined him and I getting married and making a family of our own. However, that would most likely never happen.
I remember that the best time we had together was at our senior prom. We went together, of course, since we were the "hottest couple", and Ryan had taken me outside for a breath of fresh air. When we went on the school grounds, he had given me the most breathtaking kiss we had ever shared.
"I love you, Nattie," he whispered in my ear.
"That tickles!" I giggled, and kissed him lightly. "You're so sweet, you know that?"
"So I've heard." He chuckled, and then looked serious. "But really, Nat, I love you so much, it hurts. I want us to get married some day, and start a family. Hell, I'll listen to every word you say. We can have twenty children if you want. I know how much you adore kids."
I laughed. "Ryan, that would mean we'd have to do it twenty times, and I don't know if I can handle that with you."
"Are you insulting my sexual prowess?"
"Maybe."
I grinned mischievously, and brought his head closer for another kiss.
'Cause everything's so wrong And I don't belong, Living in your precious memory.I was nothing but a mere shadow of his past now. I wondered vaguely if Ryan was still as wonderful and perfect to me as he had always been. My best friend, Sally, had told me to move on and date other men. I listened to her for the first year of our break-up. I had dated several men who were equally, if not more, handsome and caring, but none of them were the love of my life who had let me down. Even my family tried to get me to move on. My older sister who was getting married, Gina, had forced me to forget about Ryan and move on.
"He's not worth all this crying and moping," she said sternly. "You've got to move on, Nat, and leave Ryan behind."
"He's worth every teardrop that I have shed," I insisted. "I'll never forget him."
"You'll never carry a happy life if you don't forget him."
"Then so be it."
'Cause I need you,
And I miss you,
And now I wonder…
I needed him here with me. Without him, I was nothing, even though I had the seemingly perfect life to any outsider. But in my heart, I was still crying painfully every night for him. He was like the light that shined though my years of darkness…or used to be. Now he just added to the darkness.
If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you…tonight.
I knew that I would do anything—anything, to have him back with me. I loved Ryan, and he would never leave my heart. Everywhere I looked, I saw him and I as young teenagers, making out on the benches or in some hidden corner. It brought back memories of laughter and joy that I never thought I'd have again. Perhaps I would be able to move on, knowing that he had brought seven years of the best times of my life.
I, I don't wanna let you know,
I, I drown in your memory,
I, I don't wanna let this go,
I, I don't…
"You cheating bastard!" I yelled, slapping him on the face. "How could you kiss that…that girl like that? You said you loved me! You even gave me a promise ring, and now you throw it all away?"
"Nattie, don't," Ryan begged. "I didn't kiss her, she kissed me."
"It takes two to kiss, Ryan. You still submitted to her."
"I pushed her away from me a second later! Nattie, I love you, not Kelly. I'd never leave you for anyone, and I know that you know that. Don't be like this, please. Forgive me."
He had such irresistible pouts that I could not ignore. "I forgive you."
"I love you, Nat."
"Love you, too, Ry."
We had said the three precious words at least a billion times to each other. However, I knew that I couldn't get enough of the "l" word. Whenever he said it to me, it was like falling in love with him all over again.
Makin' my way downtown,
Walkin' fast
Faces pass and I'm homebound.
Everyone allowed friendly smiles as I hurried along with my purchase of a pretty vase and fresh flowers to decorate Gina's new house. They probably all knew about my pathetic love life, and the fact that I hadn't moved on since Ryan.
"How are you, Natasha?"
I turned around to see Mrs. Thompson, Sally's mother. I smiled. She had always been like a second mother to me, besides my own. However, she treated me like a daughter, and I was grateful for her love for all these years.
"I'm fine, Mrs. Thompson. And how are you?"
"Oh, as fit as ever. Ah, yes, I wanted to tell you something that Sally told me to pass it on to you. That nice boy you used to see…"
I gulped, but maintained a steady countenance. "Ryan Caldwell?"
"Yes, that fellow! Sally told me to tell you that he has come back."
My heart was beating faster, and I couldn't breathe. However, I knew that I couldn't keep my hopes up. Ryan obviously moved on without me, seeing that he was the one who broke things up between us. They would never mend themselves, surely. But one could never hope…
Starin' blankly ahead
Just makin' my way,
Makin' my way through the crowd.
He was back. I couldn't believe it. He had the nerve to come back to where we had grown up, fallen in love, and even planned to marry. He had hurt me too much for me to accept his coming again. No, I knew that I couldn't face him anymore. Not like this.
And I still need you,
And I still miss you,
And now I wonder…
I had to face it though: I couldn't live happily without him.
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass…us by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you…
I forced a smile and turned back to Mrs. Thompson again.
"Thank you, ma'am. Do you know where he is right now?"
"Yes, I do believe that he is right behind us, dear."
I turned around quickly, and there he was…Ryan. Still as gorgeous as ever. And staring right back at me.
"I do believe that I should leave you two young ones alone now. You two have got a lot of catching up to do." Sally's mother smiled warmly, and hurried on.
And it was only he and I now.
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you…
He still had his golden hair, but it had been trimmed shorter, and turned darker. His dark blue eyes were still entrancing, but had a tinge of wisdom and age to them. He was still at least a few inches taller than me, and well built. But when I looked carefully at him, he was still the Ryan I knew…and the Ryan I still loved and could not let go.
If I could just hold you…tonight.
"Nattie."
It was like Heaven when I heard his voice again. It was deeper and more mature, but it was still his voice. And this was Ryan, right in front of me.
"You're back," I said coolly. I did not want to encourage him just yet. Now until I find out that he has no fiancée or girlfriend.
"You have every right to be angry at me, and to hate me," he replied calmly. "I came back to see you. I was hoping you'd be here, with Gina and Jonathan's wedding coming up and all. John invited me as the best man."
I nearly choked. "He invited you to be his best man?"
"What, am I not fit for the job or something?" Ryan grinned, and my heart nearly melted. It was still the same playful and mischievous smile, and I knew that I was falling again, and there was no stopping.
"No, it just that, well, I wouldn't think of John as being someone who was reckless."
He frowned. "John's not reckless."
"He should know that inviting you back would hurt me."
Silence passed, and Ryan straightened himself up, shaking his head. Slowly, he reached into his pocket, and took out a small, dark green velvet box. He opened it, bent down on one knee, and revealed a sparkling golden band with a dazzling emerald on it. Tears came to my eyes, and there was no stopping them. I couldn't believe it. Of course there was no girlfriend or fiancée. Then again, not yet…
"Nattie, I know that I've hurt you more than you'll ever deserve. But I was a fool then. I needed to get away from this town and experience the world, and I have. I traveled to every place that I have dreamed of, but at night, while I lie in different beds of lonely hotel rooms, I think of you. I think how I miss you, lying next to me in bed, and saying such funny things to make me laugh. I miss everything about you, Nat. I know you probably won't forgive me right now, but please think on it. I love you so much…will you do the honor of becoming my wife?"
I was completely speechless after his little monologue. Ryan still loved me. And I still loved him.
Tears came to my eyes. "Yes, I will marry you, Ryan Caldwell."
He grinned widely and slipped the ring onto the fourth finger of my left hand, and circled his arms around me, kissing me deeply. I fell into old memories again after that, and when he pulled away, he smiled tenderly and brushed back a lock of hair.
"I love you, Nat."
"I love you too, Ryan. Will you…promise that you'll never leave me?"
"That's a promise I know I will never break."