265Gary Sanders, every girls dream. He stood 6'2" with blonde hair and almond shaped grey eyes. A girl could spend hours staring into those eyes. He owned his own law firm at the young age of twenty-four and had money spilling out of his butt. And this great guy chose me. ME! Why you may ask, I have no idea. He could have his pick of any girl in Philly and I was the lucky one. I know how wonderful he is and how very lucky I am to have him but right now as he is kissing me I'm making my grocery list in my head. Again you may ask why, and again I have no idea. It's not that he's a bad kisser it's just. me I guess.
"Ally." He whispers softly into my ear. My heart doesn't skip a beat like the girls in those romance novels or shivers don't run over my body. I feel nothing.
"Yes?" I ask starring up into his glazed eyes.
"I think we should move this into the bedroom." He says glancing down at his pants. Something I didn't need to see since I was lying under him.
"Gary." I sighed. "I have to work tomorrow."
"Me too." He said simply kissing my neck again. I gently push him off me and sit up beside him.
"It's just I can't stay up all night." I said looking at him apologetically. I stood up from my mint green couch and walked over to the window. The streets were empty and it was beginning to rain lightly. I could feel Gary's eyes on me so I slowly turn to meet his gaze. He was so beautiful what was I doing? I should be running to the bedroom. But I couldn't.
"What's up Ally?" He asks softly.
"What do you mean? Nothings up." I shrug.
"You're acting weird with me." He said walking over to me. His stare was intense and I couldn't make myself look into his eyes.
"No I'm not." I lie.
"You're pulling away from me and I don't know what I did."
"Gary you didn't do anything." I said softly ducking my chin into my chest. "I'm just not good with relationships." He lifts my chin with his fingertips so I was looking him in the eye.
"That's bullshit Alissa Winters." He smiled genially. "Over the last five months that we've been dating I've fallen head over heels in love with me. Call me crazy if you must but there isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think of you. You're beautiful and smart and funny and..."
"Ok I understand." I laugh softly the man does know how to raise a girl's self confidence. "But Gary I don't think I could love anyone the way you want me to love you." I replied my voice sad.
"Sure you can babe." He said kissing my forehead. Was the guy great or what?
"But."
"No." He cut me off. "You need your space and that's fine with me. But when you finally admit that you love me then I'll be waiting." He smiled down at me his grey eyes sparkling yet sad. "I'll wait forever for you Miss Alissa Winters because you are the only woman I want."
"Space. Yes that's what I need just for a little while." I said softly. He leaned down and kissed me gently yet passionately. And I was tempted to say screw it and drag him into my bedroom but I didn't because something in my heart was holding me back. I followed him to the door and said goodbye. Gary Sanders every girls dream and I just let him walk out of my apartment.
I walked through my small apartment and headed to the bathroom. Right now all I need is a long, warm bubble bath. I grabbed my robe and entered the tiny room. Fixing my water, I looked at myself in the mirror. My normal bright blue eyes were a dull light blue with puffy bags around them from my lack of sleep. My blonde hair was a tangle mess to my shoulder blades, and my lips were red and swollen from my little make out session with Gary. I sighed and unclothed. I was eighteen years old and spent my Friday nights home alone. And you're probably thinking it's your own damn fault which would be true but I'm not ready to move to the next step with Gary. He's older and more experienced and I don't really think I could ever love him. Then I could be out with Danny but well parting all the time isn't for me. Yea occasionally I go to a couple but every night it gets kind of old. I guess when Kyvan said I didn't know how to have fun he hit it right on the nose.
Kyvan Sparks. The jerk who knew just what to say to have me sad for days. It had been a week since our little encounter at the bar and I was still upset. Since my graduation two months ago, when I moved across state to live with my brother here in Philly he was always making me mad or sad. It was like his purpose on earth was to see how many times he could hurt me. When I get to thinking about it, it isn't just me he's cold to; it's anyone who walks in his presence except of course Cecil. He's so cold and unfriendly it makes you wonder why? He has everything he could ever want. A great loft up town, all the money he could ever need and more and he was still mad at the world. It didn't make sense. Shaking my head I sunk into the warm water. I don't need to be spending my time thinking of him. It just aggravates me even more. I closed my eyes and rested my tired muscles.
"Hey little girl." My brother opened his door the following afternoon. His hair was a mess and he looked as if he had just gotten up. "I thought you had to work today?" I rolled my eyes.
"Cecil it's three I get off at 2:30 on Saturdays. Did you just get up?" I ask walking around him. The loft; as always was a mess. Clothes everywhere, dirty dishes on the floor. I sighed and began picking things up. "You guys are pigs."
"Umm you don't have to do that sis." He said shutting the door and rubbing his eyes.
"If I don't then no one will." I said. "So wild party last night?"
"Actually no we just had the guys over and watched TV. Nothing big." He said walking into the kitchen. "Want some coffee?"
"Cecil when have I ever drank coffee?" I ask hanging my jacket in the large closet. It looked like I would be staying awhile.
"I don't remember but maybe you had started." He shrugged. "So what have you done lately? I haven't talk to you like a week."
"Nothing much." I said simply picking up a stack of dirty clothes and heading to the laundry room. I loaded the washer and made another stack in front of it. I smiled. Taking of Cecil was nice. It felt good to have someone need me. I walked back out into the living room where Cecil had started picking up the dirty dishes. "That's a good idea, you do the dishes."
"I was only going to take them in the kitchen for you." He replied smiling softy.
"Well you can do them for me. It'll make my job much easier." I said smiling back at him. We cleaned the rest of the loft for about an hour before it looked spotless. I slumped on the couch and Cecil followed me.
"So."
"So what?" I ask tiredly.
"What's up? You're looking kind of blue." My brother observed. I smiled he always knew my moods without me having to say anything.
"Gary told me he loved me last night." I said quietly.
"You didn't sleep with him did you?"
"Of course not." I responded.
"Well then what did you do?" He asks looking at me.
"Told him I needed space and that I didn't think I could ever love him."
"Harsh little sis." He winced playfully. "What did he say to that?"
"That he'd wait." I smiled.
"But does he have anything to wait for?" My brother asks raising an eyebrow.
"I don't know." I said more to myself than to him. "He's great and all but."
"He's a pussy." I looked at brother who was grinning and I had to laugh.
"No!"
"Come on Al you know it's true. You never liked the heart to heart mushy guys. I really don't get why you started dating him in the first place."
"Because he's good to me and I really like him." I said truthfully ignoring Cecil's knowing look.
"Ally lie to yourself all you want but you'll never be truly happy with him." And that's all I had to hear to know that Gary was not the guy for me. Yea he was sweet and nice and perfect just not perfect for me. I smiled sadly at Cecil and he hugged me instantly.
"You'll be happy soon Ally. I promise. You'll find someone who will sweep you off your feet and live happily ever after." I laughed as he kissed my forehead. This is why I couldn't live without my brother. He knew me better than I knew myself. He was all I needed in this life. I couldn't live without him.
"I think I'm going to stay single for a while. I like the single life. I need to concentrate on my grades too." I said leaning my head on his chest.
"You were always the smart one." He laughed. Then we were quiet for awhile when the front door opened and Kyvan walked in.
"You cleaned?" He asks looking around in astonishment.
"No Liss is here." He said pointing to me. I was slumped lower in the couch so Kyvan couldn't see me.
"Oh." He mumbled walking up the stairs.
"You know he doesn't have anything against you personally. He's like that with everyone." Cecil said after seeing the sadness in my eyes. I merely nodded.
"Whatever. I got to go." I said standing up and stretching. "Next time I come I want this place to look like this."
"Of course." He grinned. "See you later." I smiled as I walked out the door and headed to my black Honda civic.
"Liss." I stopped at the familiar voice and slowly turned around to see the cold blue eyes starring at me.
"Yes." I ask.
"Umm I just wanted to." He stopped short running his hands through his black hair. It was flat on his head instead of spiking up everywhere. It looked kind of nice.
"Yes?"
"I wanted to apologize to you for the other night."
"Ok." I said turning back around to unlock my car.
"That's it?" He asks. "That's all I get. Ok?"
"What do you want?" I ask glancing at him.
"Umm well I don't know maybe 'hey Kyvan it's ok I'm sorry too I was being a bitch.'" I felt my jaw drop what the hell. Didn't he say he came out here to apologize to me?
"Excuse me?"
"Yea you were being a bitch and I came out here to be the bigger person but forget it whatever I'm not going to say I'm sorry because well I'm not." He said turning around and stomping back into the loft. Ok I'm really thinking that boy has a split personality. I shook my head totally confused. What an ass.
A/n: So what do you guys think? Should I continue? Please let me know!