Part Of My Life - Drug Test

Maybe getting a job is a mistake? No! Bad thoughts be gone. This
waiting room is just making me nervous. It's not even a room. It's
just a hallway with a sink and doors marked "X-Rays" and "Drug
Test DOT."

The drug testing room door is open. I can see an examination table
in it. What is that for? Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

I look awful. My hair is oily. The cold sores in the crack of my lips
are very noticeable. I've worn the same old faded t-shirt and pants
for the past three days. I wanna go home.

Mom is clipping coupons, saying stuff about razor blades for Dad.
I hate my dad. He's spastic and he always goes from one thing to
another while talking. "Well I think they played good last night,
you look really pretty today, I'm going to go see my mother
tonight, I need to take it back, but I think I'll buy that blah blah
blah."

He says everything in one breathe and plans too much stuff to do.
He then ends up doing nothing, just sitting at home bugging
everyone and getting in the way.

A nurse, or whatever, hands me some papers and marks where I'm
supposed to answer and sign. I ask my mom what my social
security number is. The nurse-lady reads it off the papers my mom
gave her. Hopefully I wrote it down right.

This morning I was looking at those papers and fixed the date that I
wrote down wrong during my interview. Now I'll just look stupid
for having the date scribbled out and one written above it. I write
my signature and check if I wrote my name right.

I did. Thank God. The nurse-lady takes the papers back and hands
me a cup with a black line marked on it.

"Fill it up to the line," she tells me. Yes, I can see that. I go in the
"Drug Test Dot" room.

During the process of filling my cup, I spill it once all over the
floor, so I try to be nice I wipe it up with some T.P. I flush the
toilet and none of the T.P. goes down.

Remember I'm a top student in school? What does a top student do
when she can't find a plunger? Use the cup to push it down, of
course! Somehow the toilet ends up being flushed and it takes its
contents down.

Including the cup.

The nurse-lady asks me if I'm done. I say no. Mom tells me to
hurry up. I wait a few minutes, trying to gather some courage. Any
at all.

I come out of the bathroom. The nurse-lady looks at me. She's
confused. My mom's confused. I'm even confused.

"I need another cup," I squeak to the nurse-lady. She looks even
more confused.

"Why? What happened to the up I gave you?" she asks. I about
faint. Why didn't she just give me another cup?

"It, uh, got flushed," I say, "down the toilet." Blunt answers are
best for school. Did I ever mention that I have about zero friends
at school?

Mom and the nurse-lady burst out laughing. She manages to get me
a new cup, mark it up and hold it out to me. I quickly do what I
have to with the evil cup and drag my mom out of there.

I don't speak the whole way home. I don't want to talk. Mom gives
me laughing glances, while I stare straight out my door window.

I never want to go to the drug testing place again. Not ever again.