7And what better way to decide such a major decision than with a no holds bared royal rumble throw down between the men these people worship. This is being nicknamed the battle of the deities. Here joining me as a guest commentator is legendary wrestling promoter, Vince McMahon. Pleasure to have you here Vince.
Vince: Thank you Eric. It truly is an honor to be sitting here at ringside during this historic confrontation.
Eric: I don't mean to cut you off, Vince, but it looks like they're ready to announce the combatants.
Ring announcer: Introducing first, representing Hinduism, Shiva!
Eric: For all the folks at home who don't know, Shiva is the supreme god of the Hindu religion. His best weapon would have to be his four arms, that's two more than the normal human so he can punch and block at the same time. I expect him to do well in this contest.
Vince: I agree Eric. Four of a kind always beats a pair so to speak. But you have to take into count the crowd. Not to many people here in New York are familiar with Shiva, so he probably won't get the kind of support he would if this were on his home turf.
Eric: Too true. Let's see who's next.
Ring announcer: Introducing next, representing Islam, Allah!
Eric: Wow! The boos from the crowd are almost deafening.
Vince: He definitely is not well liked here. I heard he had to have armed personal guard him so he could enter the building safely.
Eric: If he wins this battle, I wouldn't be surprised if some kind of riot breaks out.
Ring announcer: Next, representing Judaism, Moses!
Eric: New York has a high Jewish population that firmly supports this man. It would be a great Cinderella story for this man to win.
Vince: Especially after all the years of discrimination and oppression his people have gone through.
Ring announcer: Next, representing Muslim, Muhammad!
Eric: Here is another man that is not well liked around these parts.
Vince: He may not be well liked, but you have to admire his 'never say die' attitude. And I wouldn't be surprised if he and Allah form some kind of alliance during this match. They did go to the same high school after all.
Ring announcer: Now, representing Buddhism, Buddha!
Eric: Here is a guy that I have my money on winning. With Buddhism becoming an ever growing religion and his extreme size advantage, I'm sure he is a strong favorite.
Vince: This is true, but remember, Buddhists are peaceful people. This may prove to be his downfall if he cannot bring himself to actually do damage to his opponents.
Ring announcer: Finally, representing all of Christianity and being accompanied by the Pope, your savior and mine, JESUS!
Eric: I can't say I agree with the announcer as I am trying to be as bias as possible for this match, but the fans sure do agree. I can barely hear myself speak over all the cheers. He it truly a hometown favorite. Could that be enough for him to win this match?
Vince: Of course having the home field advantage is good for any sort of contest. His one downside is his extreme size disadvantage, but with his high threshold for pain, I'm sure he'll prove to be a worth opponent.
Eric: An interesting side note, to ensure complete fairness, his apostles has been banned from ringside.
Vince: That seems reasonable. It wouldn't be fair to have thirteen on six.
Ring announcer: Without further ado. Ladies and gentlemen, LET'S GET- wait. I have just been informed we have one more competitor. From the fiery pits of eternal damnation, representing Satanism, the Lord of All Darkness, El Diablo, Lucifer!
Eric: This is quite a shock to say the least. I knew that Satan wanted to compete in this match, but wasn't allowed as not enough people worship him to consider Satanism a major religion.
Vince: My sources are telling me that, yes, he has indeed received enough worshipers to consider his a major religion. He must have been really working hard the last few days to get that many converts.
Eric: Well with this new addition to the match, I have to say that Satan is the new favorite to win. Not only does he have the size advantage against all but Buddha, but also he is prone to cheat to win.
Ring announcer: Combatants take your corners. Ladies and gentlemen, LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!