This was the first eleven years of her life, or should I say mine. Heather Ann Parris, daughter of Elisa Ann Parris and Timothy Dale Parris. Well, these were the HAPPY moments of my life, the times when I had at least a little fun. After that my life just went downhill. And I've always pretended it wasn't Daddy's fault. Always loved him. Always forgave him. It took him dying for me to realize how much he fucked up my life. From doing drugs to the day he died, two days after spending the weekend with me, to never paying more then 1500 dollars of child support, I ALWAYS forgave him, and I never figured out why. But now that I look back on all shit he put me and my sisters and my mother through I think did he ever actually love me? Did he ever care? As I wrote this story I was listening to a song called Fade by Staind. It is a beautiful song that depicts my life. Here it is.

I try to breathe Memories overtaking me I try to face them but The thought is too much to conceive

I only know that I can change Everything else just stays the same So now I step out of the darkness that my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to You were just to busy with yourself You were never there for me To express how I felt I just stuffed it down Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade But it seems the surface I am scratching Is the bed that I have made

So where were you? When all this I was going through You never took the time To ask me just what you could do

I only know that I can change Everything else just stays the same So now I step out of the darkness that my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to You were just to busy with yourself You were never there for me To express how I felt I just stuffed it down Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade But it seems the surface I am scratching Is the bed that I have made

I never meant to fade... Away

I NEVER MEANT TO FADE

I just needed someone to talk to You were just to busy with yourself You were never there for me To express how I felt I just stuffed it down Now I'm older and I feel like I could let some of this anger fade But it seems the surface I am scratching Is the bed that I have made

I try to breathe...

It's a beautiful song, once again, and I recommend you to listen to it. It's number 3 on their c.d. Break The Cycle. I thought that is was too much like my story. There will be more to come on this, this is not the last chapter.