Chapter 7

We were about to enter a new year. My holidays had gone so fast, and I couldn't believe that I had only few days left of them. They had flown just because of Nicky. Fortunately he wouldn't be gone in a few days. He would still be there when school started again.

For the first time since we started going out, we had planned to spend a day away from each other. It couldn't be otherwise, as both he and I had some things to do. It was the 31st of December, and we were busy getting ready to the New Year party at night. I would be having dinner with my friends and afterwards we'd party, and Nicky did the same thing with his friends. Later we'd meet at a club with all of the people from the two parties.

I had told my parents that I'd stay over at Irene's house, though this wasn't exactly my plan. She was probably gonna go home with Patrick anyway, and I had a feeling I'd be going home with Nicky.

The dinner went well, though I missed Nicky. I couldn't believe it was so hard being away from him for just one day, but it was. I had a little to drink at the party, but I wasn't really drunk. I thought I'd take it easy after my first and latest escapade at the club where I met Nicky.

At the club we met with the guys from the other party, and everyone seemed happy and cheerful.

"Could you be the most beautiful girl in the world…?" Somebody sang and laid an arm around me.

"Hey Nix!" I said and kissed him happily. He tasted of alcohol, but I didn't care. I was just so happy to see him that I had never been before. It was hard to believe that we had only been away from each other for less than 24 hours.

"How was the party?" He asked after we had finished kissing. "Did they get you drunk?"

"No," I answered, "but you seem to have consumed quite a bit of alcohol tonight!"

"Yup! It's only New Year's Eve once in a year!"

"Really? I never knew that!" I said teasingly and kissed him again. Then one of his friends asked him to have another beer with him, and I didn't see more of him for the next half an hour or so.

"Isn't Nicky here tonight?" Irene asked after a while. "I haven't seen him yet."

"Here's here." I said and looked around to find him. "He's right over there by the bar. With Patrick, by the way."

"Oh, okay." Irene said sounding a little disappointed. She would probably have liked Patrick to be with her. "Do you wanna dance? I mean, now that our respective boyfriends are busy getting even more drunk…"

"Sure!" I said and we went dancing. After only a couple of minutes someone tapped my shoulder, and as I turned around I saw Nicky standing there asking for a dance. Irene said she'd find Patrick, then, so I could just go ahead and dance with Nicky, which I did.

"You look really gorgeous tonight, you know that?" Nicky said and grabbed me around the waist.

"Thanks." I replied. "You're not bad yourself!"

He replied by kissing me passionately, and though I did feel a little embarrassed by the fact that everyone could see us, I soon let go and enjoyed it. I don't think we danced much. We probably just stood still and kissed until Jack shouted at Nicky from the other side of the dance floor.

"WHAT IS IT?" Nicky shouted back and made everybody stare.

"JUST NEED YOUR COMPANY IN THE BAR!" Jack shouted back, and I really hoped no one would think he shouted at me, since he was looking in our direction.

"OKAY!" Nicky replied and gave me another kiss before he left. As he walked over the dance floor I saw him stumbling and bumping into people. I couldn't help smiling and caring even more for him, though he was a bit embarrassing.

"Lynn, are you alright?" Nicky asked when we had gone outside. I had needed some fresh air and he had followed me out.

"Yeah, I feel fine." I said and made him lay his arms around me. It was cold, and I was wearing a dress with only small strops to keep it in place.

"Except you're a little cold?"

"Except I'm a little cold!"

"Are you sure nothin's wrong? You seem a little sad. Are you bored?"

"No, I'm not bored. I just miss you."

"But I'm right here!"

"Yeah, but you're not yourself."

He had had way too much to drink already, and he had been weird and embarrassing for a long time now. With my sixteen years I hadn't learned that that was what people could sometimes be like when they were really drunk. I didn't realise that I hadn't been much better myself the first time I was drunk.

"What do you mean 'I'm not myself'?"

"You're too drunk. I really think you should stop drinking."

"Since when do you decide for me what to do?" He said rather briskly. "You're not my mum. …though…she doesn't decide anything for me either!" He added with a little laugh.

"No, I know that," I said, "but it's not so funny for me."

"Why don't you just get a couple of drinks and begin partying with the rest of us?"

"I do party!" I said angrily. "I just don't make a fool of myself like you do!"

"Do I make a fool out of myself? Then what do you do being dull and angry on New Year's Eve?"

"Oh, thanks a lot!" I said sarcastically and got out of his arms.

He reached out for me and got a hold of my hand.

"Lynn! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

"Then why did you say it? Don't people say what they mean when they're drunk?" I got out of his grip again and went inside without listening to his answer.

"Lynn?" Someone called. I was outside. Alone. I didn't feel like partying right now.

"I'm here, Irene." I said and Irene came over to me.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she saw my face. No, I hadn't been crying, but it had been close to, and she could probably tell from the look on my face. She knew me too well not to notice.

"Nothing." I lied.

"Is it Nicky?"

I nodded.

"What is it? Have you had a fight?"

"Sort of." I admitted.

She gave me a long hug to comfort me.

"Why don't you go find him and make friends with him again? I saw him inside before, and he looked miserable."

"He did?" I asked and looked up for the first time.

"Yeah. I think you should go find him. Besides, it's only five or ten minutes till midnight, and you wouldn't wanna miss the count-down, would you?"

"No, I guess not."

"Then come inside and find your guy!"

And with that we went inside.

"So, Christmas is almost over, and soon we'll enter the new year…" The DJ said in his microphone. "…But we've still got time for just one more Christmas song… Enjoy the last dance in 1997, ladies and gentlemen… Here is "Last Christmas"…!"

I decided to forgive Nicky and find him, so that we could dance this last 1997 dance. After all, I hadn't been too nice myself. I, too, had said things I shouldn't have.

I searched through the club looking for the one that I loved. The one that I had only recently found out that I loved, but now that I knew, I also knew that he was the only one who could break my heart with words only, and I didn't want us to fight. I already felt the pain inside, though it hadn't even been a real fight. I just knew I didn't wanna lose him.

'Last Christmas' had already streamed out of the loudspeakers for a couple of minutes when I thought I'd search the dance floor, though I didn't believe I'd find him there. But I was wrong.

There he was, in the middle of the crowd on the dance floor, and I started walking towards him. I stopped and turned around when I saw the two of them! Then tears started running down my cheeks, and I ran out of the club!

I ran and ran and I stumbled and I got up and then I ran again. I ran till I didn't know where I was. Or…I must've known where I was, 'cause somehow I suddenly stood on my own doorstep trying to get in. I didn't have a key, but I must've rung the doorbell, 'cause somebody, probably my mum, opened the door and let me in. There was a party going on inside, but I didn't notice. I didn't notice anything.

That someone who had opened the door for me, must've put me to bed, 'cause suddenly I found myself lying on my bed, sobbing and crying and with a terrible pain inside. I don't know how long I lay awake, if one can say 'awake', as I was almost unconscious. I'd never thought a heart-ache could have such an effect on me, but it sure had. Sometime, probably after several hours, I finally cried myself to sleep.