Confusations of Driver's Ed, Health, and things that start with S.

-A Cindy Moon Creation-

Confusations: A hybrid word meaning confusing conversations

Chapter 1- Survivor

Driving is not fun- open the can of responsibility.

There are two types of entities in the jungle, animals and the ones who hunt them. Most of the period between the end of school and the start of summer enrichment, I always thought I was the hunter. Just think about it; animals get placed in cages where others can gawk and make fun of them. Why do think they tell you not to feed the animals? Two reasons: They don't eat anyways and you don't taste good. Why do you think sometimes there are signs saying, "Be back in 5 minutes. Cage cleaning"? One reason: Animals were due for a weekly lard injection. I had to be the hunter!

I stepped into my school's equivalent of "lessons for life" class and was proved wrong. I became an animal. (Mostly likely a sheep or a brahma.) The instructor (one who carries a pencil in his sock to act as a knife due to a Vietnam Vet reflex) selectively chose this class, attacking those who did not seem fit.

"Get up. Get out. Come back when you have a backpack and your papers."

Reasonable so far were his teaching habits. Then it escalated to, "When you signed up for summer school did they tell all the stupid people to get in the line for my class?"

"You're all a bunch of numbers, you're nothing but numbers. Now, I don't want to know your names, they all sound the same. You're just going to be a number. That's all you are to the world, a number. A number and a dollar sign."

All this time, I thought I just signed up for driver's education. Heck, I didn't even want to drive yet; my parents just want me to have my permit so I can run errands. I looked to my friend Jessie (You might have heard of her. She's the former star of a hit sitcom in New Zealand, but she's now a hand model for J.C. Penny.), and smirked. All the adventures in the girl's locker room couldn't touch this. Instructor Gross went on.

"Your older brothers and sisters screwed up the world you for, and you will screw up the world for your little brother's and sisters. You teenagers are crappy drivers and stupid. I keep saying it, and you keep proving it. You're also a bunch of lazy rats. I see you out there waiting on the sidewalk. Your mom is on the other side of the street yelling at you, but no, you tell her to come closer. If I were your mom I would bash your brains out and drive home, would have knocked you backwards. Damn kids."

Listen carefully. Lessons to life here from the much more experienced. Never raise your hand in that class. Don't be stupid. You're better off if you just lie low, slouch, and be quiet. Never say, "Ummm". Umm implies you don't know or a really long story. Don't come late. There's an excuse, but no one cares. The instructor tells you to answer nature's call upon your discretion (Even without the trusty hall pass since the poor school can't afford them), but if you get caught without a hall pass that's your own fault. Here it is, the shortcomings of summer school. Embrace the cage.