" I love you so much . " I lean into give him a soft kiss and ... " Earth to Ronny ." I am startled by my best friend Beth , who now has a very curious expression on her face . I am sad to find myself in Science listening to my boring teacher , Mr. Pipe , instead of with my perfect guy . " What were you talking about Ronnie ?" Apparently I was talking in my sleep , because now everyone was making ohhing noises and singing love songs .As I was surrounded by the giggles and the mocking I began to feel as if I was about to blow up , I was so embarrassed I look like my face was burning up. I instantly asked to go to the bathroom . Without hearing the teacher I ran out .
As I walk done the hall I try to straighten out my dreams . Unlike other girls, who dream about Johnny Dep or Ashton Kutcher, I dream about a shadowy figure. I cannot see his face or anything distinct about him, nothing that might tell me his name, or where he goes to school. All I can tell about him is the way he smells , like roses , and how he makes me feel , light and like nothing is wrong. I know nothing about him, but he seems so familiar, like I've known him all my life, maybe I have.
So I continue walking to the bathroom and try to keep my mind off my dreams, but all I can think about is his soft touch and his smell . I want to sleep forever just so I can feel the feeling I get with him. It is like complete heaven. It's like I have wings and I have freedom from all the chaos and all the hate. All I have is him and they way I feel for him. It almost hurts to return to this world after all the joy.
I spend most of the period in the bathroom. I was too afraid to face all the mocking and the jokes about my unconscious confessions of love. I didn't want to let anyone into my perfect world, let alone make fun of it. I didn't want it messed up by reality.
This was not the first time I have had the dream in public. Once, when I went to a catholic private school, in the sixth grade I was in math trying to figure out my teacher and all the things that she was talking about, like quadratic formulas and square roots. It was kind of hard since the night before I stayed up until 4 o' clock studying for a test on the Civil War, I was so tired and I accidentally fell asleep, I woke by a ruler that slammed on my desk. I looked up to see a very mad nun standing over me. I hated there at the school, because I always fell asleep, because the classes were so boring that I found myself falling asleep all the time. So I got transferred to a public school. I made a mental note not to go to sleep in public again.
I have had these dreams since I can remember . Every night it is the same thing . I am walking with the shadow holding his hand tightly. I ask him his name, but he acts as if he doesn't hear me, like the only thing he really cares about is that we are there together. All he ever says is, "I love you" we walk for what seems like forever until the sun goes down. Suddenly we are sitting in the park, by my house, under the big oak tree. We look up at the stars and watch for shooting stars, every time I see one, and every time I make the wish for this to be real, knowing that it hasn't come true, but hopefully it will. We are sitting so close as I inhale his smell and that perfect feeling. Then he tells me that he loves me and we lean in to get a soft kiss and that is when the dream ends. I hate that about the dream I always wake up on the best part. So I am doomed to repeat the same dream over and over again.
Lately the dreams have been getting more specific. Now I can see our surroundings and what street we're walking on, Maine, or the people around us. Now I see an old lady crossing the street, a guy drinking a coffee, I even see Beth and Andrew and we wave at them. At the beginning we were only walking on a street and it was all blurry. We also seem to do more like go to a café and get muffins, but he still stays a mystery. I leave back to class to end the day and get it all over with.
When the school day ends I go back to my house to start on my homework . As I walk I hear someone coming behind me . I turn around and there was Beth panting like a dog . " why didn't you wait for me ? '' She gasps . " I guess I forgot , sorry." "Too busy thinking 'bout your dream hunk ?" She starts to laugh softly , like she was waiting for me to laugh , So I laugh too . Beth is the one person I have told about "the dream" , she always understands me . We have known each other since the fourth grade , when she helped me fight off a bully who was picking on me in the public park. He turned out to be crushing on Beth. I could tell she liked him too. He asked her out in the sixth grade they have been steady ever since. His name is Andrew .
He has grown up to be quite the gentleman . He burps occasionally , and he rarely playfully punches my arm . He never hurts Beth though , she is the one who put him in his place for the first time . One time in the fourth grade , he poked her in her rib and she tae-kwon-kicked his ass. So he doesn't touch with her out it being affectionate. He has red , spiked , hair . Well for now anyway. He always has a different color of hair, because he gets bored easily. Once he even had a purple Mohawk.
That is why him and Beth will probably grow old together . Beth is the spontaneous type , so she keeps Andrew guessing. Once she snuck into his apartment and made her self comfortable on his bed. Too bad his mom came home and saw her. His mom never really liked her, she almost had a heart attack when she saw Beth. Like all couples, they have had their fights , but nothing more serious than over a pudding cup.
I have always been jealous of them and the relationship. They have the perfect relationship. On the other hand there is my relationship with my boyfriend. His name is Jerry. He is 6 feet tall with short black spikes on the top of his head. We have a good relationship , but it is a mile long of bumps. He is really nice sometimes, like he took me on a surprise date to Disneyland, and sometimes he can give me the greatest things like flowers. Which is one of the problems. I always tell him I love roses and he usually gets me daisies, which is a beautiful flower, but I just think he doesn't listen sometimes. So now I'm walking home and Beth starts to talk about Andrew , but I tune out. I just can't stop thinking of my "dream hunk".
When I finally get home I say good bye to Beth, and walk in. I am instantly greeted by my dog Spot. I know it's not very original, but I named him when I was four, so I wasn't that creative. Spot is the ultimate guard dog, she is a pit bull and he could take down anyone if he wanted to. He hates guys, but he loves me. I usually have to lock him in when dad is home. One day Jerry came in without knocking and Spot jumped on him and bit him on the arm. Thank goodness I got to him in time, poor Jerry might have been killed.
To no surprise, I see my mom passed out on the couch. She is always like this. She drinks a lot so she never does anything. I don't blame her though , she is always at her job when she is not drinking. So I guess it's a way for her to unwind. I quietly slip a blanket over her and walk toward the stairs with Spot at my heels. I hear a yawn and my mom was sitting up. "Oh hey honey, is your father home?" "Yeah mom, but his asleep." Thank goodness she didn't notice the time, because she might have noticed it was way too early for my dad to be asleep. I had to tell my mom that he was asleep, because the truth was that my dad wasn't home and probably wont be until three o' clock in the morning.
My dad was an irresponsible jerk. He is never at home, He is either at work or at a "business meeting" I don't know how he comes home drunk from a business meeting. It hurts my mom to know that her husband is still an immature, forty year old frat boy. He does pay the bills though. Anyway they put a roof over my head , so who am I to complain .
I get into my room and fall onto my bed, quickly followed by spot, who likes my face and has really bad breathe. I was so tired, but before I can slip into dream bliss I have to do my homework. It is relatively easy so It is done in an hour. After all the studying I was wide awake. So I watch a little T.V. with Spot on my bed, to try to get me tired. Then the phone rings and I pick it up and it's Jerry. "Hey Ronny" "Hey Jerry" as I say this I yawn and get drowsy, "tired?" "how can you tell?" I am finally tired and I can't go to sleep because my boyfriend is on the phone. "Hey are you ready to go on our date?" Oh my gosh I forgot about the date . Me and Jerry have been fighting so ae thought we should go on a special date to calm done and just hang out , to get our nerves together. So I lie "I just have to get some things together and I'll be ready" so we say god bye and I get ready as fast as I can. Twenty minutes had passed and I heard the doorbell ring. I saw Spot jump down from my bed and run down the stairs, he started to bark and holler. So I grabbed a jacket and ran to the door.
Thank goodness my mom went up to her room, I hope she didn't relies that dad wasn't in there. "Spot, go up to my room, and stay there." He hesitated for a second and finally ran up to my room. The ceiling creaked as he jumped on my bed. I open the door, "Hey sorry about… are you okay?" Jerry was on the floor. "I was scared and I started to run and I tripped." I giggle and help him up and then we are off to our date.