The Ins and Outs of Intercourse!

Ladies and gentlemen, it is time. It is time for the old wives tales to be torn, burned and then successively eaten; it is time for you to open your eyes to the, now, not so natural nor as straight forward world of sex, humping, the wild monkey dance etc. These days sex is everywhere, on TV, in casual conversations (well at least in my group…), and in the minds of those teenagers, including myself, who are wondering "damn, you put that in the what now…?" Of course, those of you who have read any other essay of mine will know I'm not really the serious type, and this essay is no exception. Having said that, I am aware this is a sensitive and or curious issue for a lot of people, and so therefore I'm going to make this as tasteful as possible. This series is all in the spirit of education, prevention, and ultimately your own health whether it be physically, and or mentally. In this chapter I'm going to address the biggies just in case you never again tune into this essay: what sex is, STD's, pregnancy and naturally the infamous subject of birth control.

To start off with, let us address sex in general. According to , sex is "sexual intercourse" – from this I drew only one conclusion, that was exactly like my mother when concerning sex: unhelpful, vague, and obviously as uncomfortable as a priest would be in the process of baptising Marilyn Manson. I then looked up "intercourse" which came up with two oh so helpful explanations:
"Dealings or communications between persons or groups."
"Sexual intercourse." – For some reason this one in particular made me want to bang my head incessantly against a steal enforced wall. Seeming as nothing official (and I refuse to battle it out with that gigantic dictionary) could tell me what sex was, this is my semi politically correct definition: participation in sexual acts with another. Now, let me address sex on a deeper level. No dictionary, nor myself, can define what sex means to one single person. One may see it as an act of pleasure, another as deep intimacy/an act of love and trust and when those two combine, their opposite perspectives colliding, that is when severe damage is caused. It depends on what your values and beliefs are, and your past. Ultimately, sex for many is not purely physical, for sometimes it can inflict the most scaring of wounds which no condom or magic pill can prevent. (This issue will eventually be covered directly.)

Now for the problem which seems to be plaguing our generation with a determination and strength really quite overwhelming: STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) less commonly known as STIs (the 'I' my feeble mind presumes, standing for infection) are diseases which are known to be spread sexually amongst the unprotected and sexually active population. Teenagers have the highest rate of STDs than any other age group, and with more STDs developing and becoming more common it just reinforces how essential it is for honesty in relationships, and also birth control which protects against STDs to be used. Although STDs are a threat to males and females, they tend to be more dangerous to females. Why you ask? Well, as you will know, guys can see their hoodilie whatsits and therefore most of the time know what's up and sometimes, embarrassingly, what's down *ba do boom chic*. Moving along, for women most STDs have little or no symptoms and so therefore if not discovered in time can be discovered only when they have already formed more serious conditions such as chronic pelvic pain, ectopic (tubal) pregnancy, infertility and cervical cancer. Ladies, if you would like to be checked for STDs get a pelvic examination. Boys, if you would like to be checked for STDs just a urine sample will do the trick. I cannot emphasise enough how serious STDs are, for although some aren't as life threatening as AIDS/HIV (most being bacterial and therefore can be treated by antibiotics) they can do harm, harm which could/can be prevented quite easily if only the right precautions are taken. Simply checking for STDs when suspicion arises and/or a check up once a year for safety's sake (especially if you have had multiple sexual partners) can prevent the spread and formations of STDs. Another contributor to STDs is people's reluctance to say "no", not only can this result in health problems but emotional health problems. Kia Kaha, be strong, if they are worth your time and energy they would respect your wishes, they wouldn't pressure you, and ultimately they would put your happiness before their physical needs. Whenever you have sex you should have your future in mind, for simply asking your partner about their sexual history, if any, would be worth the possible awkwardness if it meant your world wasn't turned upside down due to a few minutes (depending) of pleasure. I wonder if there is a record amount of time that…
Oh yes, I was supposed to keep this tasteful wasn't I?

As you may have gathered by now, this chapter has been focusing on the implications of sex, which shall be continued next chapter. But for this chapter I am focusing on the physical side, how it can effect your body. This paragraph right here, yes say hello and get acquainted, shall be focused on pregnancy. Now, guys, I know this doesn't directly concern you, but it indirectly concerns you in every way. For as you hopefully know from high school and hopefully not primary school, you know it is men who get women pregnant and just how they do that, if not, refer to local video store and or dodgy late night television.

The main indications that you are pregnant are:

- Your periods are usually regular, and you have missed one.

- Your breasts are tender, sore, swollen etc.

- You feel sick and/or are vomiting.

- You are feeling more tired/exhausted than usual.

- You pee more than usual.

- The infamous mood swings.

- A short/scant period.

These symptoms depend on your body really as a lot of things do and more often than not occur after the first 2 weeks of being pregnant. You must remember that if you miss your period and this is not usual, that it may not be pregnancy. It could be stress, a lack of exercise and so therefore make no presumptions until you have taken a pregnancy test (if you get a pregnancy test from a pharmacy make sure you read about it first, carefully, some are only sensitive to pregnancy after a certain period of time. Though to be sure you are pregnant you really should see a doctor, false results can occur.) If you are pregnant there is support available, your parents do not need to be informed and you can talk to a counsellor who can help you decide on your options if you are unsure, or just be there for when it comes to pregnancy you should do what you feel is right, make sure you will have no regrets and don't give in to pressure, it's your life.

And now finally, the logical subject to end this chapter with: protection. There are many different types of protection, and you really need to explore the different kinds to find out what is right for you. Some cater for preventing pregnancy but not STDs and therefore would only be semi ideal for one night stands, that's why condoms are so popular, they prevent pregnancy and STDs – be careful the condom doesn't have a tear or a hole. Here is a list of some different types of birth control; they all have their pros and cons:

The pill: a pill taken by women, it works by releasing hormones which prevent ovulation (women cannot become pregnant if they are not ovulating) the pros are it is highly effective, can reduce cramps, can reduce blood flow, has a 0.5% failure rate. The cons are that some antibiotics can interfere with its effect, doesn't protect against STDs, can cause weight gain, can cause spotting, can cause nausea, and you have to take a pill everyday without fail.

Vaginial pouch: in other words, a female condom. It protects against pregnancy and STDs. It is applied to the lining of the vagina in a process I am not willing to go through due to obvious reasons; I have enough trouble with tampons…ehem. The pros are it can be put on in advance, and the guy doesn't need to withdraw straight away. The cons are more than that of the pros however with its effectiveness being unknown, it not being as effective as a male condom, it being noisy, and it reportedly moving around. Could I cringe any more?

Male condom: prevents seminal fluid from entering the vagina. It is always safer to use a condom with a spermicide (see below.) the pros are that obviously they come in yummy flavours such as chocolate and strawberry, in different sizes, in different thicknesses, in different colours, provide effective protection against STDs, and are cheap with no prescription needed. The cons are…far and few between really, some guys say they dull the sensation but that can be cured by getting thinner ones, they can interrupt, and some people can be sensitive to latex - what the majority of them are made of. (Be careful! condoms made with animal skin do not protect against STDs!)

Lunelle: is a type of contraception you can get which is injected. It releases hormones slowly over 4 weeks and acts to stop the release of the egg and thickens the cervical mucus to prevent the sperm from reaching its destination. The pros are it is safe, you don't have to take a pill every day but instead have to get an injection once a month, and it is very effective. The cons are it can cause nausea, cease your period, cause headaches, cause weight gain, doesn't provide protection against STDs and may cause estrogenic problems.

Depo-Provera: like Lunelle but sounds dangerous. It is an injection which lasts for 3 months and generally goes by the same method as Lunelle. You can have bone loss, which although can be prevented by exercise, in my books shouldn't happen at all. Not recommended.

Spermicides: chemicals which make the sperm unable to function and are placed inside the vagina. They can be bought in different forms such as creams, spermicidal jelly, suppositories, and foams. They don't have as good a success rate as other contraceptives, that is why they are best used with condoms. Used by themselves their failure rate is 5-7% where as with a condom it is 1%. They are not proved to, by themselves, protect against all STDs and so absolutely do NOT use them without a condom unless you are sure it is safe. The cons are that they are large to carry around, they can cause irritation, and their use requires practise. The pros are that they can be put on ahead of time and no prescription is needed in order to obtain them. (read the instructions VERY carefully.)

Abstinence: yes yes, but not having sex is the best way to go about it. The pros are that if you wait until you are 20 or so until having sex it is proven you can have certain health advantages, it allows maturity to come to pass, prevents STDs no sweat, and no hormonal or medical conditions! The con is it can be hard, but sometimes it's worth the wait.

There are other types of contraception of course, ones such as diaphragm and Mirena IUD but they are more complicated and if you are curious you would be better reading about them yourself. If you are seriously considering having sex, research! It never hurts, because remember, you only ever will have one body and one life, so look after them.

So in conclusion, when it comes to sex it is endlessly important to take it seriously and take into consideration your partners and of course your own life. I know it can be embarrassing, but it can save you a lot of pain if you just swallow your hesitation and do what you think is right. Sex is a wonderful experience, but it can turn nasty, so be careful and take responsibility. Always keep the communication lines open and remember, having the strength to say "no" when you aren't ready is truly an admirable thing. Kia kaha.

Next chapter I will be focusing on the consequences of sex in terms of emotional health and whatever else I decide to add (planning is most definitely not my forte). I suppose though, that the response I get to this will effect whether there will be another chapter. I mean, I don't really encourage people to run after me with pitch forks and such, that's not terribly cool; like I said, it's a sensitive issue to some and I respect that. If anyone has any questions or comments, don't hesitate speak out whether it be in a review or an email. Anyway, I hope you are more educated than traumatised by this and that it wasn't all too yawn worthy. Farewell my most infinite sweetnesses.

Disclaimer: I am neither encouraging nor discouraging sex in this thing, my only aim is to shed a little light and hopefully help out a little, the last thing we need is ignorance. And yes, I know the title is very…dodgy…but seriously, could you have resisted? I sure as hell know I couldn't…

I was going to put some links for you to refer to in here as well, but it seems Fictionpress isn't allowing me to do that. However, if you would like me to recommend some links just contact me and I'd be happy to help you out.