Ronin's Teacher
Mars and Ronin were hanging around the house, bored. The other guys were out places and they had nothing to do. Nolly was at her sister's, so they couldn't go and bug her. Unfortunately, they were the only two knights that didn't have girls or work to keep themselves busy.
As they sat in front of the TV, Ronin asked innocently, "Mars, why do you torture Nolly so much?"
Smiling, Mars replied, "Because she's fun to torture." He faced Ronin with an excited smirk. "You don't know how much fun it is! I mean, at first it was just because, well, you know, she looked easy to tease... but... but now it's so much more! It's a way of life, Ronin! It-it's like better than anything else in the world!"
"I should do it too, then!" Ronin exclaimed happily.
Mars pat Ronin on the head. "My young Ronin, it isn't something that you can just DO, you have to LEARN the ways of annoyance!"
Ronin raised an eyebrow at the older man, thinking, "Well, you WOULD know the most about that, wouldn't you?" but said, "Mars, you have to teach me the ways!"
Sighing, Mars leaned back. "I don't know, Ronin, these ways are sacred and I can't just teach them to anyone..."
"Great teacher Mars, you HAVE to school me in the ways to annoy Nolly!" Ronin proclaimed.
"You're right, my boy. The youth must be taught or this sacred art will die out." Mars turned to Ronin again, eyes bright with excitement. "You must be willing to commit to this! You must do anything I ask, no matter how weird it may seem! There is only one way... MY way... the way to the technique of annoying Nolly! Are you sure that you are serious about this?"
Ronin nodded in excitement. "I'll do my best, teacher!"
****Later that day****
Ronin ducked behind a mailbox as Nolly came out of the house. She saw him, but since he was hiding, she pretended not to see him. When she came within touching distance, Ronin jumped out and threw water balloons at her. Nolly just stood there in amazement while Ronin ran away, crying out in triumph.
****Again, later****
Nolly was just about to come up the stairs to greet the guys. Ronin had a plan. As she came up, he threw a fake tarantula at her. She screamed and fell backward. Ronin screamed out in victory and ran away.
At the bottom of the stairs, Nolly rubbed her head and finally figured out that the tarantula wasn't real. She frowned. "Ronin doesn't usually do this. He's being worse than Mars." She looked around and sighed. "What's Mars up to anyway? He hasn't done anything to me lately and Ronin's going crazy on me... something's up..."
****Later still****
Mars gave Ronin a brown belt in a ceremonious manner. "Congratulations, my child, but... I have only one criticism."
"What, great teacher Mars?" Ronin asked in distress.
"You have yet to master the art of subtlety. With this, you can do ANYTHING to her and she will never be able to prove it's you. She will KNOW it's you, which is the best part, but proof she will not have!"
Ronin nodded eagerly. "I will master subtlety, teacher!"
And so the days went by and Ronin continued to learn "the sacred ways" that Mars taught. These days brought embarrassment and anger into Nolly's life. She knew something was going on, but she couldn't figure it all out. She just figured that Ronin was copying Mars since he was young and impressionable, but little did she know that he wasn't just copying Mars... he was LEARNING from Mars... which is actually quite scarier.
One day, Ronin got into the Hatfield residence and set up a nice little trap in Nolly's room since she was away. A little trap that would spill chocolate milk all over her. Why, you ask? Why not? Giggling furiously, he waited for Nolly to come home.
She came home... and Ronin hid away from her until she went to her room. Then, he headed up the stairs quietly to hear the reaction. SPLASH! "AHHHH!" He nodded in satisfaction, let out a cry of triumph and then ran out of the house to inform his teacher of his deed.
****Later again****
Seeing as how Ronin and Mars really had no lives, this was very serious to them. Their whole lives now revolved around torturing Nolly. So sad it was, that when asked their occupation, they would say "Masters in the sacred ways of Nolly's torture." Yes, very sad and pathetic, indeed.
Weeks went by and they continued their little "art" of making Nolly's life miserable. Soon, when they thought they were alone, they talked of their art. Unfortunately for them, Nolly was hiding and she heard the conversation. She jumped out of her hiding place and pointed her finger toward them. "AH-HA! I should have known this was all your fault, Mars!"
"YOU!" Mars exclaimed, jumping up and pointing at her. "You have overheard of our sacred art! You must be destroyed!"
"Lay off, SENSEI, this whole thing is revolved around me, so why shouldn't I know about it?" she asked with a raised brow. Shaking her head, she frowned in confusion. "What the hell are you two doing anyway? Don't you have LIVES? You actually made up some sort of TECHNIQUE for torturing me?"
Mars frowned. "You mock us, but you are just jealous that you can NEVER know, let alone MASTER, the technique! HA!"
"Mars, I don't mind that you don't have a life and all you can do is make up nice little 'techniques' to torture me... but to drag an innocent young boy into the picture and make him waste his life away because you have some weird obsession with me? It's unforgivable!" Nolly stated, arms crossed.
"Ronin, I beseech thee! Now is your biggest test, you must vanquish this enemy of our sacred ways!" Mars called out, he bent over to look the boy in the eyes. "Can you handle such a test?"
Sighing, Ronin shrugged. "Nolly's right, Mars. It was fun while it lasted and it kept me from boredom... but I don't want to be as old as you are and have that be the only thing I do with my life. Sorry, man." Ronin walked away.
"RONIN! My student, how could you do this?! NOOO!" Mars screamed in agony.
Nolly raised her eyebrow and then shook her head sadly. She went to Mars and pat him on the shoulder. "Mars, honey... get a life, okay? There's other things out there. Things that are more beautiful and wonderful than torturing me. Get a girlfriend or something... You're really pathetic..." She walked away, still in shock that an 18 year old man was that pathetic enough to make an "art" or "technique" that was dedicated to annoying her.
Mars pointed at her as she walked away. "You wait, Nolly! This isn't the last of it! I will have another student and he will be even more dedicated than Ronin! We will defeat you, o' foul, devilish one!"
"Whatever, Mars," Nolly said with a sigh. "Maybe you should get a job, but for now, I'm out of here."
Mars frowned as she left. This wasn't the end. This was FAR from the end. This was VERY far from the end... okay, we've had enough of that. But as the two of them left, Mars knew that he would dedicate his life to the technique of annoying Nolly. He smiled evilly. "Just you wait, Nolly, I will make your life a living hell!" and then he laughed maniacally.
Two days later, he was put away for being insane. Just playing! But he should have been...
The end... or is it?
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Author's Comment: How do you like the first Omake for Knight of Fire? I've been wanting to do this little skit for a while! Isn't it cute? I just thought that Ronin would be perfect for this part because he's young and bored. Aww, don't you wuv Mars and Ronin? So yeah, I don't really know what other jokes I want to do in Omake, but I had to do this one. And... I'm not sure if this is the end, but I'm sure I'll do another Omake for this since Mars is a loser that has nothing better to do. Haha! Hope you liked and I hope it made you laugh!
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