The Perfect State

Why Minnesota Schools New York in Every Way

By C Shot

I have written an essay saying Minnesota is the best Republic, but only three challengers came to be. They are New York (twice), California, and England. England is striken off the list, because it's not a state... although I might later write why Minnesota is better than England.. hint, hint.. and California is next round's contender. New York is the challenger simply because two people claim that the state and more specifically the city is better than Minnesota.

However, I must answer the wrongful thinking of one Californian reviewer. Minnesota is the 'North Star state' or even 'the land of 10,000' lakes. While the grand republic of Missourri is the 'Show Me state.' Well, now since I have educated the masses a little bit about Minnesota and Missouri I shall vanquish New York.

Fugiguru says, "how many cities in minnesota have songs written about them?" Then he gave me the examples, "New York, New York" and "Give my regards to broadway." Now correct me if I am wrong, but Broadway is in New York City. So along with the other New York City song, that brings about the grand total of cities with songs written about them to one. So I will give the name of a song written about St. Pual... my state's capital.. and it is "Back to Old St. Pual." It's a charming folk song. So we are at least even in the number of cities with songs written about them.

Then Fugiguru states that New York beats us in capacity. That is true, in fact New York City alone almost doubles Minnesota's total population. Yet a Minnesotans believe in something with our crops, that we do with our people "Quality, not quantity." The quality of Minnesotan people can be shown in simple areas of crime rates. In the year 2000 New York had 952 murders while Minnesota 151. Although I must give credit to the New York people, the murder rates have been cut down in half in the last decade. Another interesting thing is that New York had over sixty thousand incidents of assault, while us Minnesotans only attacked each other seven thousand and seven hundred times. Minnesota may have less people, but then again more isn't always better.

Now I am shocked Fugiguru, you seem to be proud that FDR came from your state. Personally I'd be ashamed, for what his administration did to the Japanese-Americans during World War II. That one act I don't think can be forgiven, no other president has ever violated the rights of citizens like him. Ever. However, I don't wish to get this essay to political and I really do appreciate yor review. Thank you.

Now onto the next New York/ New York City challenger: Strawberri Shake. Strawberri says NYC has museums, but the Twin Cities have ten museums. Of course New York's ever so high payed, high class, baseball mayhem monsters the Yankees must be mentioned. While I do give credit for the Yankees to being able to produce every year, but those results are a given and loses much anticipation the sport has to offer. The Twins are never the same year to year, we pride ourselves in taking young players and turning them into great players. Even if it takes a few seasons to do so. Minnesota's football team (the Vikings) are infamous for having the worst of luck. Ever since Ventura was our govener everyone of our sports teams do extremely well, but drop the ball and choke. Yet it's an emotional ride, one that makes Minnesotans hate the Packers.

This is my favorite part of Strebarri's review: that New York has a rich history dating back to the sixteen hundreds. Now that is a long time ago, but Minnesota's history starts back in the late 1300s. When a grop of Vikings explorers dropped a stone called the "Kensington Runeston."

Well, I am going to retire for the day. Enjoy a nice frozen pizza, spike my mohawk up and scare some local elderly folk. Please do have a nice day and enjoy your state.

-Curtis

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