1My names Amelia, I'm 17, I was raised in a Christian home in New Zealand and - believe it or not - I do choose to love and follow God as my parents taught me but not because that's how I was brought up, knowing nothing else. I think this is worth reading, please continue - whether you love God, hate him or just don't know even whether he exists -
Anyway, I always loved God and kinda knew him and all that - prayed (more like, 'can I have a pink pushchair for Christmas, God?' When I was younger) and sometimes read my bible - I went to church - you would have thought I would have had it all quite figured out - the answers were right in front of me!
But up until I was 15, I thought I was one of those 'throw in' Christians - because of course God loves everyone and all who believe and love and try to follow him will get to heaven, including me, - but I thought I was useless to him. I had always been very shy and seeing my parents and other Christians being all friendly and speaking in church and generous and everything made me feel very insignificant and I thought that as I was too shy, and obviously imperfect at school and didn't read the bible much - I lied, gossiped, hated, and was easily angered - I thought God couldn't use me and that he loved all these other Christians better than me - that it was my job just to go through life as best I could, but I couldn't really make any difference in the world.
But, I was wrong. When I was 15, during worship as I was singing to God, he showed me the truth. That I was special to him, absolutely loved and adored by him, that he cared for me, he was my strength and savior. I had thought, previously, that oh, it's easy (well, relatively) for Jesus to die for everyone, but in that moment I knew that Jesus would have died just for me! Little, imperfect, insignificant, shy Amelia! And in that moment I knew just how much he loved me - he counts my every tear (most of them are not worth counting) - and I knew that with him, I could change into the person he wanted me to be - a strong, courageous, patient, kind, loving, generous, truthful, bold person who smiled freely and was joyful and glowing. Whatever I wanted to be was achievable; I didn't have to fit the mold I was born in, because Jesus can do the impossible!
And in that moment I knew that life was okay - doable - because I could do it with God - I could rise above my situations and face them boldly with him - and I knew God was really really there - without a doubt, he existed, - and that he was all-loving and all-powerful.
No, I don't understand everything. I question God a lot. Quite rudely, sometimes, too. Why is life so hard and painful? Physically and emotionally? Why is it sometimes so hard to endure? Why, if God is good, is their pain and suffering? Anger, hate, cruelty, evil? I don't have all the answers, but I know enough about God to place my full trust in him in all circumstances - if my world came crashing down, I might be angry with God wondering why he let it happen, but I need him so much - he is the essence of my life and I couldn't live without him, there would be no reason to live - so if everything collapsed, I would cling to God more desperately still.
God isn't a genie. He doesn't give you just whatever you ask for, especially if you ignore him once you've got it. As a kid of 6 I learnt this - up until then, whatever I asked for in prayer, I seemed to have got - a purple dress with white poke-a-dots (sounds dead ugly now) for my birthday, a pink pushchair for Christmas, my Nan (great-grandmother) to stay alive until we got back from India (where I lived from 3 to 6 yrs). So, back in New Zealand I told my younger brother I was going to be able to fly. Why? Because I truly believed, if I prayed enough, I would get whatever I asked for, because I knew that God answered every prayer. I felt a bit stupid when I finally realized that 'no' was an answer too, and the only way I could fly was in my dreams. Anyway, so God's not a genie. He does answer all prayers, but he wants you to be in a relationship with him - love and talk to him - not just, as so many people do, ask for stuff but not thank or talk to him. Another thing I've found is that many people blame God for bad stuff that happens in their lives, but ignoring God and chancing it to luck or fate when good stuff happens. I have a friend who likes to think that bad stuff is all God's fault, therefore why should she believe him or trust him, but good stuff is luck, 'some people are so lucky!' And I said I haven't got all the answers, but as for 'why does bad stuff happening to good people?' the biblical answer is that when Adam and Eve sinned, evil entered into the world, in many forms which include corruption of power, natural disasters etc.
I was involved in a very serious car accident about 6 weeks ago - I was driving. My grandmother (nana), and granddad and two of my younger brothers were in the car. My nana broke her neck - the very top bone - and was said to have a 50% chance of even surviving the crash (this chance lessened, even, as she was mid-seventies with osteoporosis). She did survive. A week later the doctors had to make a very serious decision about whether to move her to a hospital with better spinal facilities or not. My family and friends prayed hard, my parents felt warned by God at the time that it was a very important decision. They did decide to move her, and the day after she became paralyzed - they had the equipment so were able to do a special scan on her, found that her neck was unstable, and operated. Had they not moved her, she wouldn't have been able to have the scan, and would have most probably died. The operation was intense and it was expected, if she survived, that she would be fully or at least partly paralyzed. She was not. Last week she finally came home. I lay it all to God that she survived, we all survived and God comforted us hugely, and nana recovered fully. That was about the closest I have come to losing much of what I hold close but I made it through so well, as I was holding onto God. He was my strength, encourager - I knew if others blamed me for the accident, if it were in some way my fault, God wouldn't judge, he'd hold me and comfort me, and he did.
You guys might be thinking, another Christian goody-two-shoes idiot, but I tell you, it's the truth. Jesus is real, he loves you unconditionally and would have died just for you. He is always watching you, waiting for you to talk to him.
If you don't know if God is real - just ask him! That's what my mum did when she was 16 and curious - she prayed, 'God if you're real, and good, then I want to know you'. So ask him if he's real, loving and good, quick and simple. God hears and answers.
If you have any comments or questions about God or anything, please write in the review or email me (allis .nz).
I do sound like a bible-basher, don't I? I didn't mean to! But I can't stop talking about the truth, and God. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. And I wrote a lot, so if you don't understand my strange, round-about way of saying things - please ask.
And may God bless you, open your hearts to him, and show you his great love and power and that he's real!