7Author's Note: I know what you're thinking—how crazy how this girl be, writing all these sappy romance stories? I know, I'm hopeless…but I just can't help loving them. *grin* Enjoy!
Disclaimer: The lyrics that you see don't belong to me; they belong to Richard Marx.
And I remember how you loved me
Time was all we had until the day we said good-bye
I remember every moment of those endless summer nights
My hand was shaking as I stared at the letter that Melanie had penned. I scanned the contents over again, hoping that I was reading it all wrong. But no, the words were right there, plain as daylight, right in front of me.
Dear Ryan,
I know that you're wondering why I'm writing to you right now, when I could have so many other times. Well, I was nervous to see your reaction, to see how you would feel after the both of us not seeing each other for nearly a decade.
I wonder about how we've both changed. I still remember those days when we spent nearly all of our free time with each other. We really were in love, weren't we? Even though I never really believed in the concept of true love, you opened me up, and showed me life as I had never seen it before, and I thank you for that.
Actually, a main reason why I'm writing to you, is to tell you that I'm engaged now—I have been for one year. His name is Paterson Chamberlain, and I know that you would like him…
I stopped after that statement, and had to force myself to read on. I couldn't imagine Melanie being in love with another man, and the thought stirred a new feeling in me, a feeling of jealousy and resentment. Mel was never one to attract too many men, though some of them liked her for her calm and determined personality and sweet nature. I had been the perfect kind of boy that girls fell for immediately back in high school, when we first met: intelligent, athletic, and a perfect gentleman. However, I was never interested in the kinds of girls that were attracted to me; most of them were cheerleaders, on nearly every sports team in school, or just plain bitches. Melanie had fascinated me; she had been a studious and quiet girl, but with a hidden fiery nature. I remembered the first time we met as if it were just yesterday.
I smirked, running a hand through my light brown hair, and peered at the giggling girls who stood huddled in a corner, and grinned over at my friends, Randy and Charlie.
"They are such airheads. I can't believe that you guys actually date these types of girls."
Randy rolled his eyes and winked at the girls, flashing them a 1000-watt smile. They giggled even harder.
"Come on, Ryan, you got to love them. They're hot, buddy—smoking hot. Do you see that girl with the white tank top and pink mini-skirt over there? She's got killer legs, and, oh God, if I wasn't dating Cherie, I'd ask that one out at once."
Charlie, who had been more mature than most of my friends, shook his head. "You're such a loyal boyfriend, Randy. Cherie is a nice girl; you shouldn't think that way."
"Yeah, well, you're dating a total hottie, dude, so of course you wouldn't think so."
Yes, it was true. Charlie dated girls who were complete sluts—even more so than the girls Randy dated. He was a nice guy, but was blind to the personalities of his girlfriend and ex-girlfriends. They were sluts, and slept with so many guys that I was surprised none of them were pregnant by now. However, the thing I was proud was that none of them dated me. Sure, the tried to "seduce" me, but that never worked. I was one of those hard-to-get guys, who had admirers, but never obliged any them. I only had one girlfriend, and she had been a childhood friend who lived out of state, and we had only kissed a few times. I was still a virgin.
"You don't want to give everyone the wrong impression, do you?" pushed Randy. "I mean, they'll think you're gay." He thought for a moment. "You aren't, are you?"
"No," I laughed. "I've dated before. You remember Sheryl, don't you?"
"She doesn't count. She moved to Michigan a long time ago. Come on, you still haven't slept with a girl yet. I'll still keep that secret, but really, that's so embarrassing. I sleep with Cherie at least once a week, and if you're afraid that the girl will get pregnant, then use protection."
"Thanks for the tips, Randy, but really, I'm fine."
As soon as I said those words, someone ran right into me, and I crashed back on a locker. Everyone in the hallway was silent and watched as a medium-sized girl with black hair quickly gathered her things and apologized to me profusely. But before I could tell her that it was no problem, Randy butted in rudely.
"Who do you think you are, pushing my bud around like that? Do you know who he is? No girl dares to even touch Ryan Hotchkiss, you hear me?"
"Randy," I reprimanded sharply. "It was an accident; it's all right. Hey, you okay there? Sorry about being in your way."
The girl stared at me with the most beautiful pair of amber eyes I had ever seen. I slowly felt my knees weaken, and when she offered me a small smile, I felt the world crashing down on me.
"I'm very sorry," she repeated again in a sincere tone. "I wasn't watching where I was going. I'll—just be going now." She quickly turned away and was prepared to leave, but I grabbed her arm impulsively.
"Wait, I don't even know your name yet."
The girl blinked, and then smiled again. "I'm Melanie Harper. And I don't really need to ask what your name is."
I laughed, and then looked at her fondly. "Maybe I'll see you around sometime."
Melanie looked surprised for a moment, as if evaluating my earnestness, and then nodded. "Maybe."
I decided to dial the phone number that Melanie had left for me at the end of her letter. Slowly, I found my cell phone, and pressed the numbers, my hands still shaking. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but all I knew was that I was still madly in love with the black-haired girl who had stolen my heart ten years ago. She was engaged now, to a man that probably treated her just right and picked up her broken pieces every time she dropped them, instead of messing them even more, like I had done.
"Hello?"
I involuntarily shuddered. Her voice was still the same, with the sweet lilt and girlish tone.
"Hello?" I heard her voice grow impatient, and I smiled.
"Hey, Mel. This is Ryan."
Silence grew between us, and I was nervous again. What if she hung up on me? I didn't want to completely lose touch with her.
"Hey, Ryan! What's up? Did you get my letter, then?"
I nodded to myself. "Yeah. It was nice hearing from you again after so many years. How did you get my address?"
"Charlie told me."
"Charlie?"
"Yeah. We work together, at Wall Street in New York. Didn't you know that?"
"He never told me." I was inwardly seething at my friend. He knew that I was still head-over-heels for Melanie, but after all these years, he never told me about her, when he knew the whole time. I silently made a mental note to myself to ask him about that.
"Hmm…that's funny. I thought he would've told you, being one of your best friends and all. Anyway, how've you been lately? Dating any nice girls?"
"Nah. I only went on a few more dates after we broke up in high school. I only got serious with two of the women, but it wasn't much."
"Wow. I would've thought you'd be dating right away. Then again, you were never much of a dating guy, anyway. You always pushed girls away whenever they asked you out."
"I'm not like that anymore, but I guess I just wanted another girl like you. Hey, Mel, can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Why did we break up during our senior year of high school?"
I heard her voice tense as she replied. "We had a fight, remember? I told you that we couldn't see each other too often, since I was going all the way to Stanford University in California, while you stayed in the state, going to Yale. Then you got angry, we said a few things we didn't really mean, we broke it off, and, well, since then, we never did talk to each other. It's been almost ten whole years, Ryan, since we've seen or talked to each other."
"Wow," I breathed, shaking my head. "I always thought about you, though, even when I dated other girls. You were just something else, I must say. Even though we only spent two years together, they were the best two years of my life. I remember those nights we spent together in summer. It was almost like a dream."
Before she could reply, though, I heard a deep masculine voice calling out her name in the background. Melanie yelled something back, and then apologized to me.
"Sorry. That was Paterson."
"Where are you?"
"At our apartment. We live together."
My muscles tensed at that piece of information. Mel was always cautious in trusting people, and if she actually lived with this Paterson guy, then he must've been very special to her.
"Hey, Mel? I have to go…get ready for work."
I heard the puzzlement in her voice. "It's Saturday, Ryan."
"I know, but you know how teachers don't get any breaks from work."
She probably didn't believe me, but she obviously didn't show that. "All right. It was nice hearing from you. Bye."
"Bye."
After I shoved my cell phone into my pocket, I allowed a deep sigh. A small smile graced my features, though, when I remembered the first time we spent time together, way back in junior year of high school.
"Hey there."
Melanie looked up curiously, and her expression bordered on surprise and disbelief when she saw me approach. She tucked a lock of black hair behind her ear, and allowed a grin.
"Hello."
"You seem surprised."
She flushed brightly, and shook her head. "I didn't expect you to come and find me."
"I said I'd see you around sometime, didn't I?"
I was puzzled. Melanie Harper didn't seem to like me at all, which was quite a new concept for me to grasp. I thought she was one of those popular girls, seeing how beautiful she was, with both outer and inner beauty and grace. I quickly ran over my personality traits through my head, wondering if there was something about me that ticked her off. Well, maybe I didn't have the classic looks that attracted most girls to boys: the characteristic blond hair and blue eyes. However, my light brown hair and bottle green eyes weren't exactly hideous, either, and many girls liked me just the same. I wasn't a bullying jerk like many of the jocks in our grade, and I was nice, or at least civil, to everyone.
Mel still didn't look convinced about me, though. She shifted her weight around on the large flat rock that she was sitting on, and drew her backpack closer to her body.
"No one usually pays attention to me, even if they do know my name," she explained in a soft tone. "I thought that you were just being nice when you said that you'd see me around sometime."
"You have friends," I objected. "I've seen you with a group of girls."
"That's true, but the well-liked people in our grade never give a second glance at me. You're very well-liked and popular; I expected you to be the same."
I crossed my arms and pouted. "You're making a stereotype there."
For the first time in the conversation, she allowed a genuine smile pass over her features, and I thought that no one could ever be so beautiful as she was at that moment.
"Well, what can I say? I'm not a nice person."
"You don't seem very mean to me."
"I didn't say I was mean; I just said that I wasn't nice."
I reciprocated her smile. This girl was really something. I knew, from that point on, Melanie was the type of girl that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. However, I knew that if I asked her out right then and there, it would be too suspicious. We barely knew each other, and she'd think that I was being too forward. Yes, I could see that Mel was one of those girls who were cautious when it came to dating. I would respect her beliefs, but I knew that eventually, we would be together, and I would be happy.
It was funny, thinking this, as a sixteen-year-old junior in high school, almost turning seventeen and entering my senior year. Usually, it took a long time for people to realize who their true soul mates were, but for some reason, I had a hunch that Melanie wasn't one of the girls who would just come and go out of my life; she'd be staying for a while.
"Hey, would you like to go for dinner sometime?" I asked politely, trying to make a good impression of myself to her.
Melanie thought for a moment. "Like, on a date?" she questioned slowly.
I pondered on this quickly. "Uh…whatever you feel like it should be." Yes, that would definitely win me some brownie points.
She grinned in reply. "Then, we'll make it a date."
I looked at her with some surprise. She must have seen my expression, because she hastily added,
"Thinking that I have a date for the first time in my life will make me feel more special, then if we went as friends."
I nodded at that, and knew that Melanie Harper was really some girl.
I clutched the driving wheel of my car tightly, as I entered the Upper Manhattan area, where Charlie lived. It was a wealthy area, and much better off than the rest of Manhattan, and I wasn't surprised that my friend managed to find an excellent job and maintain a healthy lifestyle at the same time, completely with a lovely wife and a small child of two years.
I parked my car outside his driveway, and studied his house. I hadn't been here for almost a year, because I never was able to find the time, being a law professor and all, at my old college. It was still as grand and elegant as I remembered it to be, and I walked up on the brick steps and knocked on the door hesitantly.
It opened, revealing Teresa, Charlie's beloved wife of five years. She smiled widely when she saw me, and engulfed me in a warm embrace.
"It's great to see you again, Ryan. Come on in; Charlie will be so glad to see you. He's in his study right now; I'll go call him out, and we'll make some coffee and scones."
I smiled back, and nodded. Teresa was nearly the antithesis of the girls that her husband used to date back in high school. I was glad that my friend had moved on to better, more mature women after high school was over when he went to UPENN for college.
After a few minutes, Charlie appeared. He grinned when he saw me, and we shook hands formally.
"Hey, Ryan. What's up? Haven't seen you for a while…has it been one year already?"
"Yeah." I nodded vaguely, and decided to get straight to the point. "I got a letter a few days back."
"Really?" He poured me a glass of wine. "What kind of letter?"
"From Melanie. You remember her, right? My high school sweetheart." I glared at him accusingly. "The woman that you so happen to work with at Wall Street."
Charlie paled, and looked sheepishly at me. "I wanted to tell you, Ryan, as soon as I met her again after not seeing her for so long, and I was going to. Then, I met her fiancé, who works with the both of us as well, and I didn't have the guts to spill the beans to you. I knew you'd be upset, and I didn't want you to go through a depression. Pat's a nice guy, Ryan; you'd really like him. He's just the type of man that suits Melanie."
"And I suppose I'm not." I looked downcast at the floor. I knew I couldn't win back the love of my high school sweetheart.
"You'll always be remembered by Mel as her first love, Ryan. But, buddy, try to move on already. Melanie will never have the type of love with Pat, as you had with her a long time ago. You guys shared a passion and affection deeper than anything I've ever known in my life, and you two were really meant to be together forever, as soul mates. However, sometimes life has a way of playing tricks on you, and you'll always have to be malleable enough to 'go with the flow', and adapt to whatever changes there are."
I simply nodded, but I knew that he understood what that meant: that I was ready to go on with life. "What's this Pat guy like?"
"Oh, he's kind to Mel, smart, charming, very funny. He's not anyone extraordinary, but he's a suitable match for Mel all the same. He'll never be like you, though, Ryan. You're still an incredible person, and I know that you'd make a lucky girl blissfully happy someday."
"Sure." I looked at him incredulously. "I'm incredible all right. I screwed up my first real relationship with the girl that I still have feelings for, and I haven't been serious with any other woman since then. All I do is bury myself in my work and hope to forget the past. Sadly, the past comes back to me again, and brings more pain. All I want to do now is have a few days without any worries."
"Take a vacation, then."
"From work? I'm a teacher, Charlie! My students need me. They're brilliant, all of them, and I know that they'll all make fine lawyers one day—the ones that want to be lawyers, anyhow."
Charlie smiled. "Still the same Ryan I know. Come on, man, loosen up already. You're still as stiff and every bit of the perfectionist that you were back in high school. Take a vacation; in fact, spend it right here, at my house. You can stay for a few weeks, and then I can take you to lunch and you can meet Mel again, and Pat."
I stared at my friend, horrified. "You're kidding."
"What's he planning this time?" Teresa came in with a tray bearing a teapot, three teacups, and a plate of chocolate chip cookies.
"He thinks I should take a vacation," I grumbled.
"Well, I can't blame him for saying that…you really do need a break, you know, Ryan."
"You guys always gang up on me. And I thought that you were my best friend, Charlie."
"Dude, I'm your only friend. Your other 'friends' are just merely friendly acquaintances, and Randy ditched us a long time ago after high school."
I grimaced, remembering. Randy had been my other best friend, along with Charlie, since sixth grade. In our senior year, however, his life started going downhill. His father had lost a lot of his fortune due to the stock market changes, so he started to become more vapid and apathetic toward his family. Because of that, Randy's mother started to take pills, and died from an overdose of them. Randy himself started going to parties and nearly had a hangover every day when I saw him at school. Cherie, his longtime girlfriend, had dumped him as a result of his drug use, and started dating a guy that had been his worst enemy since grade school.
We had tried to help our friend out, but he wouldn't allow us to "interfere with his life" and that he could "deal with everything" on his own. Unfortunately, I had come across him at a casual party toward the end of our senior year, and he appeared very drunk. I had told him off there, telling him that drinking and getting wasted every week wasn't going to solve any of his problems. Instead of listening, Randy had punched me right in the nose, starting a fight, and we both ended up with bloody noses and bruises. Needless to say, Melanie had not been happy about that, but she forgave me eventually.
That fight had been the turning point of our friendship. I couldn't face him at school, and he didn't make any attempt to apologize. His star-sports record was going down, as were his grades, and he eventually dropped out of high school just before we graduated. I hadn't heard from him ever since.
Charlie and I were both sorry that we lost a dear friend. Randy had been nice, funny, a little weak when it came to judging others, but he was still thoughtful, nevertheless. Also, he had been one of the top students of our class, and was highly intelligent and serious about his school studies. I didn't know what happened to him, and I prayed every night, for a year, that he would make it through his life all right, and if God was willing, maybe I could see him someday again.
"Ryan? Are you all right?"
I felt Teresa's soothing touch on my arm, and I flinched at once, since I was too engrossed with my thoughts.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just remembering Randy, you know. He was a great friend."
Charlie nodded gravely, and ran a hand through his golden locks, sighing. "I miss him, too. Sometimes, I wish that he would've let us help him through those rough times. Then, maybe he would've made his dreams of becoming a pro-basketball player come true, as well as getting married to Cherie and all."
"Maybe he changed, and did make many of his dreams come true," I stated. "I just hope that, wherever he is, he may finally be happy."
Teresa looked confused, and I knew that she didn't know Randy at all, since Charlie had met her in college, when Randy was already out of sight. However, she agreed with us, and then looked at her husband, and then at me.
"What were you two talking about before I got here?"
"We were talking about Melanie Harper."
"Oh! Mel's such a nice girl, isn't she, Charlie? I think her fiancé's just wonderful as well. They make such a sweet couple."
I looked uncomfortable, and my eyes trailed down to the floor, unable to meet either of their eyes. The mere mention of my old girlfriend brought back so many memories.
Charlie obviously saw my discomfort. "Ryan here used to date her."
"Really?" Teresa raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"
"We had a fight, and never made it up. We haven't seen each other for ten years."
"You should've been there to see them, Terry." My friend smiled fondly at his wife. "Those two were just really something together. Everyone was jealous of them. They were the first couple where there was a jock, and the relationship actually worked, and wasn't just for the appearance."
"I'm sorry, Ryan," Teresa murmured. "She must have been so special to you. I'm sure there are plenty of other nice girls out there for you, and would be happy to have you as a boyfriend and a future husband. You're a great guy, and you deserve the best. Someday, you'll meet a great girl, you know, and you'll fall madly in love."
"Yeah." I looked away, sighing. "But that girl will never be Melanie."
"Tell me why we're breaking up," I shouted furiously, stomping my foot, which was oddly like a five-year-old's gesture.
"Calm down, Ryan," ordered Melanie in her quiet voice, shaking her head. "Don't yell. It's not really breaking up. We weren't really going out from the beginning."
"What do you mean? Of course we were! Mel, we went out on at least ten dates, and I know you had fun on all of them. So tell me why you've suddenly got this idea that we shouldn't see each other anymore, and just ignore each other like nothing ever happened between us."
"I've had fun on all of them, certainly, but I know that you didn't enjoy any of them, and just pretended that you had fun."
"What? How can you even insinuate that?"
"Because it's true, that's why."
"Then that would mean you don't know me at all. Why be so judgmental? I'm not just some stupid jock who happens to be on the soccer and track team at school, and gets decent grades in all the subjects. I'm more than that. Why do you think that I'm practically the only guy that's 'popular' and has only kissed a girl a couple of times, and never went anything beyond that?"
Melanie stopped, and her jaw dropped. "You still haven't done—you know—with a girl yet?"
I blushed, realizing what I had just said. However, since I was trying to make an impression on Mel, so that she wouldn't break up with me, I nodded vigorously. "I'm kind of saving it until marriage."
I knew that it sounded completely crazy and too, well, strange, for a guy to be saying that he was waiting until marriage, but that was how I really felt. For the first time, I wasn't ashamed of me still being a virgin; in fact, I was almost proud of myself and the fact that even if it was old-fashioned, it was an honorable deed.
"I didn't know that," she continued, her eyes wide. "I thought you already slept with many other girls. That's…that's really, I don't know. What I'm trying to say is, you're really something, you know that? Really different from any guy I've ever known."
"And what I'm trying to say is that I love you," I blurted out without apparent thought into this. I was surprised at my own actions. That wasn't exactly the situation I would've said those three special words for the first time, but alas, life was definitely not perfect.
Melanie nearly fainted at those words. "You don't mean that—do you? You should be saving those words for someone special."
"You are someone special, Mel, and I love you. You're amazing, you know that?"
She smiled, and I slipped an arm around her waist, placing a soft kiss upon her lips. We stayed in that position for a while, and then she leaned toward me and whispered in my ear,
"I love you, too. And as for us breaking up…let's just pretend that thought never happened."
I never felt happier, after she said those words, in my whole life.
My eyes met clear amber eyes from where I stood next to Charlie, and then I shook out of my reverie. I froze, not knowing what to do, and then looked at my friend for moral support. However, he seemed to be busy chatting with another group of men about how the markets were going really well these days.
I knew there was one thing I had to do. I swiftly walked over to those incredible eyes, and smiled.
"Mel, it's me, Ryan."
The woman standing before me stared in wonder, and then gave a happy scream, embracing me tightly. I saw, over my shoulder, a man that had accompanied her into the building, and he was grinning at her.
"Is that really you, Ryan? Wow…it's just…it's been so long."
"Too long," I agreed, and then looked at the man. "Paterson, I assume?"
"Pat will do," he said, nodding, and shook my hand firmly. "It's typical of Mel to tell you my long, full name." He rolled his eyes, and looked at her fondly. "But that's what I love about her."
I wanted to say, "Yeah, I love it, too." However, I knew when to be tactful, and merely nodded respectfully.
"You look very accomplished," commented Melanie, smiling at me tearfully. "Charlie's told me that you're a professor now, at Yale. I'm glad you have such a good life, Ryan. I guess all your dreams did come true."
"Most of them," I said at once. "Of course, one cannot get everything they want in life, can they?"
I was thinking about how wonderfully perfect it would've been if Melanie had become my wife, but I said nothing of it. Perhaps she may eventually figure out that I was still madly in love with her. However, it was nothing like the passionate love affair we shared during our high school years. No, I loved her now with a calmer affection. Certainly, I wanted to kiss her more than anything right at that moment, but I would control myself. I wouldn't want to hurt her nor the man that stood before me, that happened to be her fiancé.
"I suppose not. But you really deserve everything you want in life, though."
I shrugged, and then grinned. "Enough small-talk now. I think that we should sit down with a nice cup of coffee and discuss what's been going on in our lives since graduation."
"Now we're talking," added Pat with approval. "I was drowning in the sap that you two kept saying to each other, about dreams and all that crap. Come on, life's too short to feel sorry for yourself."
I looked at him with amusement. Yes, I knew what Mel and Charlie meant when they said that Pat was "a nice guy". He really was; nothing too different, and pretty much an average guy in general, but someone that was compatible with Melanie…my Melanie.
So, for the next hour or two, we talked about everything under the sun. I told her about graduating with straight A's after college, and then entering law school. I had big dreams of becoming a hotshot lawyer that worked at a successful firm, but reality hit me halfway through Yale Law School, and I suddenly got the idea that being a lawyer meant late hours and skipping meals, and I didn't want to live that way. So, instead, I worked to find a job being a professor at a law school. Luckily, one of the professors there had retired, and that left me with the job at the school that eventually became my second home. I strayed from discussing my love life and personal events, because that would surely cause awkwardness.
Melanie had gone into a full-blown autobiography of her life. She went to Stanford University in California, and then went on to an unknown business school in a remote area in Michigan, where she met Paterson. She then went on to tell me about their first meeting. Pat was just another guy that no one really noticed until they talked to him. Mel wasn't too noticeable either—she was average height, a little on the big-boned side, but fairly athletically fit. They had gone to the gym at the school, and went on talking. Soon enough, they were attracted to each other, and three years of dates resulted in Pat's proposal, in which she graciously accepted. She told me about their dates: walking in the park at dusk; ice-skating, though neither of them were very skilled at it; hiking in the forest; going to the movies and always ordering a large Sprite with their two bars of chocolate, which was usually either a Kit-Kat or Butterfingers; and many other interesting stories that made me laugh out loud.
We spent a good amount of time just talking, but we also went to a nearby restaurant, where they served delicious food, and there we laughed and joked just as much. By the time it was time for us to go home, and I was to go back to Charlie's place, Melanie took me by my arm, and led me away from the group, telling them that she wanted to speak to me privately.
"What is it?" I asked, slightly anxious that she was upset about something.
However, she merely smiled and shook her head. "Nothing. I just know how awkward this must be for you. It was for me, I must admit. I mean, I haven't seen you for so many years, and here you are in front of me; it's almost like a dream."
My mind was on something else. "Mel, I still love you. Is there a chance that we might get together again?"
She looked startled, and a hand fluttered to her dark hair, which was twisted into a fashionable businesswoman style. Letting out a sigh, Melanie gave me another smile, but this time, I could see that it was a hollow and forced one, and not like her usual dazzling one at all. She took my hand and placed her own small one in mine.
"I still love you, too, Ryan," she said soothingly. "I feel the passion and sparks as intense as they were a decade ago. You were my dream, my hope to go on with wherever life took me to, and you're still that amazing boy that stole my heart. But I love Paterson now, and I can't let him down. We have to get married."
"You don't have to force yourself to do something."
"Oh, but I do. I know I can't have two men at once, or else that would be quite adulterous. Pat's not as different as you are, but he's a nice, down-to-earth fellow, and he really loves me. I would truly break his heart if I broke off the engagement. He trusts me more than I could ever trust anyone in my whole life. He didn't even blink once when I spent the whole day talking to you. He's not jealous, and I can't even imagine how much I'd hurt him if I left him. You're a strong person, Ryan, and I love you with all my heart. I will never forget those days we spent together...and especially those summer nights, where we would just sit down on that porch swing in the front of your house and just talk for hours, or maybe read a story together. That's what I remember most. Not the days where we would just kiss each other like there was no tomorrow, but those nights, where we would talk to each other like old friends. Those nights were so wonderful—and so long."
"Endless summer nights," I assented with a nod. "You're still my dream, Mel," I murmured quietly. "May I kiss you?"
Melanie shook her head. "You know I can't do that to Pat."
"It's Pat this, and Pat that!" I yelled, pushing her away from me and keeping a distance from each other. "I'm still madly in love with you, Melanie Harper, and that's all you have to say to me? 'I can't do that to the guy that I've only known for a few years, but I can betray the best friend and lover I loved for twelve years'."
"Stop being selfish, Ryan! If you had called me after our fight and tried to make up, then I would've come back to you."
I snorted loudly, and crossed my arms stubbornly. "You were a part of that fight, too, Mel. You know you wouldn't have forgiven me. Besides, you never tried to make it up, either."
I stopped talking, seeing Mel's tear-stained face. She rarely cried, and when she did, whoever caused her to do so was always on my hit list.
"I wanted to, Ryan," she muttered, looking down at her feet. "Oh, how I so wanted us to be back together. But I realized something after our break-up: we really weren't meant to be together. Maybe we really were soul mates, but it would've been weird if we stayed together forever. It just wasn't meant to be."
"I guess not."
I turned away from her, and slowly walked toward the others, who were at the car chatting merrily to each other. I tried to feign a smile, but it didn't work; my muscles didn't seem to want to curl up at that moment. I heard her call my name, and I turned around, closing my eyes.
"I wanted to give this to you." She handed me an envelope.
I opened it carefully. Inside, was a card decorated with a spray of light pink flowers. It read:
You are cordially invited to the wedding of Paterson Lance Chamberlain and Melanie Rosanna Harper…
I quickly placed it in the envelope again, and looked at her mournfully.
"I'm sorry, but I can't attend this wedding, Mel. It'll be too much for me."
Instead of understanding like I thought she would, her eyes narrowed into slits, and she glared at me. "You're being a selfish bastard, Ryan. Going to my wedding would mean so much. Can't you just let go of the past?"
"No! I can't. Of course you wouldn't understand; you're the one getting married and won't marry me, your true love. You don't understand what I've been through, Mel. None of it."
I turned away and ran, unable to look back at her expression. I could've sworn, though, that I heard her say,
"Oh, but I do understand. Every bit of it."
"I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, horrified, as I saw my spilled water all over the young woman who I accidentally bumped into when I was lost in my thoughts again.
"Oh, no, it was my fault. I know I shouldn't have been reading while walking at the same time. At least you've helped me learn my lesson." She gave a merry laugh, as if she wasn't troubled at all.
I spent a little more time than I should have liked looking at her. She was beautiful, but not in an obvious way. Long, brown curls cascaded down her back, and crystal blue eyes looked at me carefully. She was of average height and weight, and if I squinted at just the right angle, she almost looked like Melanie.
"No, I'm still sorry. Maybe we can go out for coffee sometime."
She smiled. "Sure. By the way, I'm Raven Connor."
"I'm Ryan Hotchkiss."
We talked a little more, and I was very entranced with this girl. I found out that she was a computer programmer at a small company, and was still single, since she had a rough time with her former boyfriend. She gave me her number, and we both reluctantly departed.
When I got home, I couldn't stop smiling. For the first time in a long time, I was actually in a good mood. I really liked Raven; she was intelligent, kind, and not afraid to show who she really was. Perhaps the real reason I was attracted to her was because she reminded me of Melanie.
I saw a spare envelope on my desk, and I went to remove it to the trash, when I felt something inside. When I opened it, I saw the wedding invitation Mel had given me nearly a month ago. My hands felt numb, and I sighed to myself. It was time to move on, and I knew that. Melanie was too good to leave Paterson for me.
Suddenly, an idea came to me. I took out paper and a pen, and began scribbling furiously:
Dear Melanie,
I'm sorry for what I've done to you, and I wish to apologize…
I paused, wrote a good apology, and then started on another fresh piece:
So let's start over. Let's see…hello, I am Ryan Hotchkiss. I like basketball, baseball, soccer, and swimming…but enough about me. What's your name? What do you like?
I smiled, satisfied, and had never felt more relieved before in my life.
I laughed, going into my house. I just came home from my date with Raven, and we had a blast. I had taken her to an amusement park, and we had a great time, going on rides, having snacks, and I won her a large, cuddly teddy bear.
I saw the mail that I hadn't had time to look at on my table, and I opened the first letter. I froze when I saw the words:
Dear Ryan,
I'm Melanie. It's nice to meet you. What do I like? I like singing, soccer, music, reading, as well as many other activities. I'm afraid I don't know as much about you as I should. Tell me more about yourself. I'm very interested…
I finished reading the letter, and smiled contently. Yes, things were going pretty well again…but there was still something I needed to do.
Picking up the phone, I dialed Mel's number, and she answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Mel, it's Ryan here. Hi, I just wanted to change my response to going to your wedding. I'd love to come, on the contrary, and I would never miss it for the world…"