1Describe in detail the customs and laws of marriage and discuss the daily life of an Athenian woman who was a citizen wife and mother.
The customs and laws of Athenian marriage were very traditional and showed the deep culture and religion of the Athenians, as well as the practical purpose of marriage. A typical Athenian citizen wife and mother would have an arduous and hard life, spent mostly indoors and would be subject to the authority of her husband.
The customs and laws of Athenian marriage showed the purpose of the marriage, not for love, but as an agreement between the parents that they thought was best. The purpose of marriage here was well stated, 'We have wives to produce true-born children and to be trustworthy guardians of the household,' Demosthenes 59.122, and this message was reinforced when the girls father ritually told the intended bridegroom, 'I give you this woman for the ploughing of legitimate children'. At the betrothal the friends and relatives of both sides are present, bearing witness to the girls virginity and to the size of the dowry. The dowry was a sum of money or valuable property, and was used to support girls while they were married, and if they got divorced it had to be returned. The best time to get married according to the philosopher Aristotle and Hesiod was in the winter months. There were many traditional customs in Athenian weddings. Both the bride and groom wore their best clothes. The bride was veiled and wore a headband, and the doors of her father's house were hung with ivy and bay leaves. The bride was lead to her new home by the bridegroom and a close friend of his, sitting between them in a chariot drawn by mules or oxen. During this procession, a wedding song was sung to pipes and the couple received greetings and congratulations as they went along. When the bride reached her new home, her mother-in-law greeted her with a lighted torch. Nuts and fruits were showered on the couple, and then the wedding feast was eaten. There were always a large number of guests to witness the contract. The women sat separately from the men, and the bride remained veiled. After the feast the husband led his wife to the bedroom. Another hymn, called an epithalamion, was sung outside the door. The couple ate a quince together, perhaps as a symbolism of fertility, Plutarch also said it was supposed to ward off evil influences. Women married at around 15, ideally, and to men more than twice their age. From there, a woman's life went from being under the rule of her father to being under the rule of her husband. As Hipponax said, 'The best two days in a woman's life are when someone marries her and when her dead body is carried to the grave.'
An Athenian woman who was married to a citizen man would have had a dull and arduous life. She would have been constantly under her husband's rule, and her choices had to be in line with what her husband wanted. Having said that, she wouldn't have had many choices at all, apart from how she managed the slaves, ran the house and carried out her daily routine of weaving and mending clothes; a laborious task. Her life would normally be spent completely inside her house; even standing by a window was against the law. This was so that husbands could be sure to keep their wives to themselves - no other man would have the opportunity to have an affair with them - and therefore the men could be sure that all their children were legitimate (of utmost importance for citizen children, to be able to prove their citizen parentage). An Athenian woman's life was very miserable and mundane, the only relief from the day to day torment of working all hours inside in the heat of the woman's quarters without windows, was the religious festivals and funerals which citizen wives were allowed to attend. As a result from being inside, these wives had very pale skin compared to their husbands. Poorer citizens could sometimes not afford to keep their wives inside, so these women would work outside, perhaps selling things at the market. When a slave was sick, it was the citizen wife's duty to look after him until he was better. An Athenian wives purpose was to produce legitimate children for her husband, in particular, boys. The birth of a child increased the wife's status in the household. The father had the choice whether to keep the child or expose it outside the city. If the father decided to keep the baby, the door of the house was decorated with an olive branch for a boy and a piece of wool for a girl - an early reminder of her future work and lower value. Athenian wives raised their children, until at the age of 5 the boy was given to a male slave to look after him.
Athenian weddings were full of religious and cultural identity, and were exciting events to attend; yet Athenian marriages were not for love and the wedding symbolized the husbands authority over his wife and was the first step to the wives unpleasant married life. Marriage was primarily for producing legitimate children for the family household (oikos) to pass down to, along with citizenship. Married women with children often faced a grim life filled with work, and little opportunity for a better life.