Disclaimer: Don't let the title fool you, there is nothing straight about this. Don't like it, tough shit. My life, my writing, ignorance and flames will be ignored.
A/N: Go read Am I Blue?. Its all short stories about coming out and such. It's a good read and very thought provoking.
Searching for a straight girl
I've read enough to know the drill. Girl meets girl (or boy meets boy, there's no discrimination here). One straight, one blatantly not. They hit it off as friends, great friends. Impossibly tight friends. Then the straight girl's full of confusion while outie's coming on strong. Cue sentimental music, life altering kiss and suddenly, viola, everyone's gay. Toss in the turmoil. "Straight" girl gets kicked out of her house, or loses all her friends or experiences some sort of life-stopping tragedy, just short of getting pregnant (because gay girls never get pregnant). Everyone grows as a person, everyone is happy in the end. And you have a very queer fairy tale.
And that's how it goes.
Obviously I did something wrong. There was no already out girl. I came out quietly to my friends and they accepted me. Because what did they care? Half of them were gay, pagan, pyros or liberals anyway. Now they just had something new to joke about because I was obviously looser then they originally thought.
No dispute there.
So I still have all my friends, with the exception of one bitter, far-ended right-winged Christian who found me evil even before I was a "sexual deviant". And I still live in the same house I did before I was "different". Before I was out. Acceptance is not what I would call what had passed between me and my parents at the time of my grand announcement, but they did not disown me. That's a good sign as far as I can tell.
And I'm not pregnant. And as a teenage Mexican girl, that does require a miracle.
So did I do it wrong? Where's the uproar? The character building hate? The names that I can't even say myself in fear.
That I don't mind. That I can live without.
But where's my gay girl? Where's my life altering kiss? Where's my new best friend with the confidence of a mountain, lips like heaven, and a will to show the world what for? Because that's how it goes. Because they always have something to prove. Something to show.
I'm still human.
I still feel.
I'm not going away.
I'm damn irresistible.
Maybe….maybe I'm someone's outie. Because that's part of it too, the gay one always starts off alone. Maybe somewhere, some straight girl's world needs to be sent askew. Maybe I'm the gay friend who won't take no for an answer and can kiss better then any ol' Prince Charming.
But I don't want to ruin someone's life, like they always do. And I don't have the confidence that it requires. And I have nothing to prove. But I'm still alone. And I'm still gay. And not pregnant.
So here I am, the prequel to my own queer fairy tale. Maybe the commotion comes later and maybe I'll find out what hate is like someday far from now. Or maybe I just got lucky and all the ignorant bastards live in books and on TV.
Hahaha…hey, my story's not down in writing yet, I can dream.
A/N: Okay, I've been thinking a little too much lately. I don't feel like this, not anymore at least. I've been reading a book of short stories about coming out lately and the stories are all different, but some of them, when you analyze them out, the equation is always the same. So that is all.
Thanks for reading, please review. - BoarderKC