14I wasn't nervous as I pulled open the door of Damon's Tea and Baked Goods. I'd been here before with him. Funny that Emily had picked this place. You'd think with her being the first girl under those infamous sheets, her memories of him would have scarred her, and she would want less reminder of him. Strange. I had often tried to block him out, and had almost succeeded as of recently. But, now, she was scraping at my old wounds, and I could almost feel them begin to bleed again.
"Amanda!" The shrill voice cried as I entered, "You came!" Obviously. Did the girl actually think I wouldn't show up? I was much too curious to stay home. Who wouldn't have come? Anything having to do with this guy was intriguing. That's why there were so many of us. So many that were haunted every life long day.
"Yeah," I replied, brilliantly, attempting to be pleasant. However, if you get a lot of ex-girlfriends together, it's hard to not be on your guard. "Well, I mean, I couldn't miss it! It's good to see you, Emily," I continued.
She smiled. "You, too. I'm sure you're a bit confused."
I shrugged. "Well, it is kind of strange. I mean, it's been years, ten, maybe more since I was on this street." My voice drifted off. He would always be a bit of a touchy subject for me. Emily shifted her weight.
"See, Amanda," Emily began, "He affected my life so much, and so many other girls,' lives, too, and I thought it would be interesting to bring us all together, now that most of our hearts have healed." She laughed, bitterly, and I wondered if hers had even begun to mend. It was still odd, Emily doing all of this. He must have died or something, something she would tell all of us later: All of us being me, Emily, and the five other girls that sat at the round table.
I noticed that they were all beautiful in their own ways, all a bit quieted, all slightly reserved, and they all looked torn apart. Emily led me towards the table. "This is Jackie," she began, pointing to a girl with dyed jet-black hair and a gothic black minidress on. She wore black boots to her knees, laced up. I couldn't decide if she was a whore or not. She rolled her eyes at me, and stared me down.
"Hey," Jackie muttered, and went back to looking at her plate.
Emily pulled me away from her, and to the next girl. "And this is Kira." I assessed this Kira. She resembled Jackie a bit, with the dyed jet- black hair which looked like it changed colors quite a bit. She had these deep blue eyes that you could get lost in. She had an innocence about her, yet she seemed so used. Well, probably his doing. Kira smiled sweetly and said hello. She looked as though she wanted to devour me. I was flattered by her kindness, but a bit uncomfortable at the same time. I remembered this Kira quite well. He had been dating her the last time we met. She looked much different than in her picture. Much more beautiful. Well, they all were. Was I?
"This is Shana." I immediately disliked her, before she even spoke. I wasn't sure what it was, but she made me so angry that I wanted to strangle her. He had never mentioned her, and she was aggravating to even look at. Shoulder length, choppy blonde hair, a flabby figure, and a long, pointy nose. She seemed like a witch. And I was sure her personality did not contradict that assumption. She smiled nicely enough, she spoke eloquently enough, she seemed decent. But I didn't trust her. Not for a second. Still, I bared my teeth for a moment, and then continued around the table.
I was introduced to E.J. next. She and Shana had been giving each other dirty looks since I had walked in. She was incredibly skinny, a very small frame, and long, wavy black hair. E.J. had one of the palest faces I had ever encountered, and she looked bored. Nice enough, but bored. She said, "hey," and looked me up and down. I replied, something I hadn't necessarily done with the others. She had this look that made me want to help her in some way, this feeling I didn't understand. Maybe I could bring her out of her shell.
"And this is Sam." I had definitely never heard of a Sam. She looked to be the same age as E.J., and I couldn't think of another word to describe her besides, 'needy.' I wasn't sure how I meant this, but however I did, she was it. Her hair was dyed, like the majority of the girls, except it was a plainer brown with skinny streaks of blue and pink. Her skin was darker, maybe a Middle Eastern type of thing. She seemed clingy and afraid of everyone. She stuck close to E.J.'s side, and barely looked me in the eyes. She seemed pissed. Just plain pissed. I could deal with that. But she certainly didn't strike me as someone he would tolerate for very long.
I finally took a seat between Sam and Emily at the table. Did I fit in here? No one at this table could have loved him more than I had, no one could have had the same feelings race through them when he walked in the door, and he couldn't have cared for any of them as much as me. The only one I had my doubts about was Emily. I knew he had dated her just before me, but that was all. Still, it was a bit of a threat. In my mind, I thought I was the "favorite." She seemed so plain with her brown hair and dimples. Just an average girl he had picked off the street. Off the street. I smiled. That was me.
"All right girls," Emily said, sounding official, "We are all gathered here together because , well-" Emily stopped, her voice wavering. "I saw my mother the other day, and she had heard he was in the hospital; drug overdose or something, and-I just thought, maybe it would be nice to be with other girls who cared the same way I did. Not in a platonic way, not in a way a family member loves another family member, but in a romantic way. In a head over heels kind of way." Emily laughed at herself. "I just thought we could all share our experiences today, and maybe have some closure. I know I never did."
You had to be pretty damn important to have a meeting in your honor. You had to have affected a lot of people's lives to be something to "get over," or "have closure" about. But no one could deny that he was both of those things, and more. Something about that guy. Funny that it had reached girls other than me. I never dreamed that another human could feel for him what I did.
"It was Christmas Eve," Emily began, "And I had just dumped my boyfriend, Kenneth." It didn't matter if we wanted to know, if we would be jealous. We would all hear.