My Koibito

By Spawn of Hell

Isn't it weird? I had this feeling in my stomach that I would be too late. I knew that there was no way I could prevent what was going to happen. I was running late. And I'd never be able to undo what had been done. Still I was running. I couldn't help myself even though it only brought me faster to my koibito. And for the first time in three years, it's something I would've wanted to avoid. Don't get me wrong. He is my koibito. He's my life. Or at least he was. Past tense.

I'm not making much sense, am I? I'll explain.

I had gotten this phone call about an hour ago on my cell. It was him. My heart had fluttered as I heard his beloved voice. It still did even after three years. He was calling to check up on me, wanting to know when I would be home. He didn't usually do this. My mind formulated all kinds of scenarios and I thought that he may want to surprise me. I was wrong. I realised it the moment I hung up. I had no reason to feel like I did. But I did. I had this gut-wrenching sentiment that something was terribly wrong. That's why I tried to call back home, but no one picked up the phone, letting it ring endlessly.

That's also why I began this mad run across the city.

It was raining. It seemed appropriate to me somehow. In situations like this, the sun has no right to be.

You know these moments where you make a total fool of yourself because you thought something was going on, when in fact it was something completely different? Well, I wish it would've been one of those times. This went against everything that I am. But I needed to know that everything would be alright. I didn't care if I was mistaken. It would have been my pleasure to join my koibito in his teasing. I would have laughed in relief.

But here I am. I have just thrown open the door to our house, not bothering to close it as I run up the stairs screaming his name. The silence that answers my cry was no surprise. I continue running until I reach the bathroom. I don't know why I believed that's where he'd be. But somehow I had to be right.

Somehow, somewhere, Fate decided that I should find my koibito there, his wrists cut, blood oozing generously on the floor.

He is pale.

He is still.

I don't think he's breathing. I feel like if his heart had been beating, I would've heard it. Because we were linked. As my heart was his, his was mine. That's how I know I am indeed too late. He is dead. And there is nothing I can do to change this fact.

I don't know why he did it. Maybe I should, since he was mine. But I have no idea. I don't know what he was thinking. Did he really think I could live without him? Or did he know that I would join him wherever he went?

But all of this doesn't matter anymore.

Because my koibito is dead.

I lay his beautiful body on our bed and lay down beside him and intertwine our fingers. I've read about something like that in a book, or maybe I saw it in a movie. It's romantic, isn't it? But it doesn't matter. My blood is leaving me. I feel my heartbeat slow down and I feel cold. Soon I'll be as cold as him.

My lips twist into a loving smile. I can still hear his beautiful, beautiful voice whispering as if it was the most precious gift– I know it is.

"Ai shiteru."

My Koibito. My life. My death. My everything.


Author's Note: I don't know what inspired me to write this. It just came to me as I typed. I must've been in one of these moods. Though to spare you, I made it only a one-shot. So you don't have to worry about me leaving unfinished stories lying around everywhere… That said you don't have to worry about A Change in Perspective either(for those who read it…thank you again). A new chapter should come out soon. But for the time being just enjoy this little piece of work and tell me what you think. Oh, and 'koibito' means 'lover' and 'Ai shiteru.', 'I love you.' And 'Owari', 'End'.