2"Do NOT blame me for the fact that you spend more money than we make…"
Kalika groaned softly, slowly rolling over in her bed. Aw, shit, she thought. Here we go again… She rolled her eyes and pulled the pillow over her head, attempting to ignore the screams that were echoing through the house. Can they never get along? She thought. Sighing, she knew it was pointless to try for any more sleep. Once her parents started fighting, there was no stopping them.
Rolling off her bed, she pulled herself to her feet and yanked her jeans on. She fumbled for the remote to her C.D. player, grumbling to herself as she kicked it across her room. The arguing was really starting to get to her, and finally she just ran over to the remote and turned the music on as loud as she could get it. It was a major relief to her, droning out the angry screams from downstairs. Nothing stopped them; they could find anything to argue about whether it was money, the family, or even something as small as a glass of spilt milk. At seventeen years old, Kalika had already decided that there was no such thing as love and that she was destined to be in a marriage like that of her parents…if she ever got married. The only reason she stuck around was for her siblings. Her twin sister, Kayleigh, didn't want to leave, and there was no way she could haul her three little brothers with her wherever she went.
She ran her hand through her shoulder length bluish black hair, growling. Even with her music so loud, she could still hear them fighting.
Suddenly, the music was off. "Kalika Baiame, what did I tell you about that racket?" her mother's voice came from behind her.
"Sorry," she muttered, not turning around. She ran her hand through her long, curly black hair and sighed. She didn't want to see the bruises she knew were forming on her mother's face.
"Don't take that tone young lady," her step-father shouted. Kalika jumped as he grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. His breath reeked of alcohol, not unusual for him.
Kalika stared defiantly up at him, forcing herself to hide her fear under her icy cold exterior. She knew her blue eyes were turning a stormy grey by his reaction.
"Sorry, Billy," she muttered with contempt, knowing full well that he hated being called that.
His fist connected with her jaw, throwing her to the ground. Before he could continue, the doorbell rang. Bill stalked off, stumbling through the door.
Kalika stayed still as she heard his heavy footsteps echo down the hallway. As they quickly faded, her mother dropped to her side.
"Kali-"
"Don't bother," Kalika interrupted, yanking her arm out of her mother's reach. Her mother wouldn't help her if it came down to it. Her mother would just sit back and relax if her step father went after Kalika. She stood up and wiped the blood off of her mouth.
"Kalika, your father really does care about you," her mother said.
"He ain't my fucking father!" Kalika shot back. "And he sure as hell don't give two shits about me." She knew that wasn't exactly true, but she was pissed and if he could get away with hitting her when he was drunk, she could pull off being bitchy when she was pissed.
Her mother sighed and walked out of the room, saying "Maybe you can talk some sense into her…"
"Kalika?" a soft voice came from the doorway. It could barely be heard over the loud music blaring from above her head.
Kalika turned the music down a bit, allowing the sound of the newest argument to come in. She turned and looked at Kayleigh and asked, "Yeah, wha'd'ya need?"
"What time do you go to work?" Kayleigh asked.
"Work?" Kalika asked, confused, her stormy gray eyes meeting Kayleigh's own clear blue ones. Kayleigh and Kalika were twins, but no one could tell from their looks. Kayleigh was the complete opposite of Kalika with white-blonde hair. They were as different as night and day, Kayleigh being quiet and nice, while Kalika was outgoing and sarcastic.
"Yeah…work…remember, the diner?" Kayleigh rolled her eyes.
"Oh yeah…I quit that job 2 weeks ago," Kalika said, nonchalantly.
"What? Then where have you been going all this time?"
"Out," she replied, darkly.
"You're leaving now?" Kayleigh said, incredulously. "But what about the family dinner?"
"As opposed to sitting here and listening to them fight again? I'd rather stick rusty nails in my eyes," Kalika replied impassively. She glanced at her sister, shaking her head.
"Kalika," Kayleigh pleaded.
"Look, you can come with me if you want, but I ain't staying here," Kalika growled.
Kayleigh looked uncomfortable. Even with the constant fighting, Kayleigh would never leave the family like Kalika did. Kalika would leave for days at a time, disappearing into the night then reappearing a few days later on the doorstep, usually escorted by the police for something or another that she'd gotten caught doing. It drove their parents nuts, but it got her away from everything.
"Whatever, Kayleigh," Kalika rolled her eyes. Once a daddy's girl, always a daddy's girl, she thought to herself. She had never once tried like Kayleigh did to be perfect and lead the perfect life. She wasn't going to force herself to be something she wasn't for her parent's sake. They'd never tried to stop fighting for the twins, so she figured she didn't have to give them anything.
"Kalika, please don't leave…" Kayleigh pleaded. "I have a really bad feeling this time…"
"Look, Bill's going crazy, Kayleigh," Kalika exploded. "He's always drinking…hey you hear that? Nothing. They've stopped fighting, which means he's drinking. You know what that means, Kayleigh? Mom's gonna start on him again, and one of these days, he's gonna lose it…he's drunk, and he won't stop one of these times. I dunno about you, but I do not want to be around when he goes psycho on her ass!" With that, Kalika stormed to the window, glancing over her shoulder as she climbed out. Sighing, she paused halfway through. "You coming or not?"
Kayleigh glanced in the direction of the silence, and then nodded.
"Fine," Kalika said. "Meet me outside in five minutes." The sorrowful look on Kayleigh's face disappeared as Kalika easily climbed down from the tree right next to her window. Her mom had always loved that tree, so she refused to let their step father cut it down, even thought they both knew that was how Kalika would sneak out of the house. It was one of the few topics of their arguments.
"Kalika," Kayleigh whispered from the side of the house. Kalika nodded to her and lead the way out to the street, never even glancing back. They walked until they reached a pay phone, where Kalika planned on calling someone to pick them up.
"'Lo?" a groggy voice answered after the tenth ring.
"Hey, it's me," Kalika replied, keeping her voice steady and unemotional.
There was silence on the other end of the line, then, "You need a ride?"
Kalika let out a sigh of relief, "Yeah."
"Meet me at the warehouse," the guy said.
"Okay," she said. "And Rafe?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks," she whispered.
"No problem, kid," Rafe answered. Kalika considered Rafe to be one of her closest friends. He had picked her up off the streets ten years earlier when she had run away for one of the first times, keeping her safe whenever she needed to get away from her parents. He was the only one besides Kayleigh who understood her situation. His parents had been just as bad as hers, and one night his father had gotten drunk and killed Rafe's mother, then himself. Rafe had only been ten years old at the time, and he had seen the whole thing. Kalika figured that was why he took her in and always took care of her. He rarely actually talked with anyone besides Kalika. There were several other people living with him, but he just didn't talk to them the way he would with her. It was weird, though, considering that, while they shared similar memories of their childhoods, he was much older than her. Not that he looked it. He looked as though he was about 22 years old, but in truth, as Kalika figured he had to be older. He just had this look in his eyes, as though he had experienced more than was possible in a single lifetime.
At the warehouse, Kalika and Kayleigh leaned against the wall, shivering. It was the middle of winter, and Kalika hadn't grabbed her jacket.
"Kalika-"
"No, Kayleigh," Kalika interrupted her. She knew Kayleigh was going to offer her a jacket, but Kalika wouldn't let her sister freeze.
"Damn pride," she heard Kayleigh mutter.
"There's Rafe," Kalika said before Kayleigh could chastise her. The old car pulled up beside them, and Rafe jumped out, looking pissed off.
"Sorry I woke you up," Kalika said.
"I don't give a shit about that," Rafe growled. "What the hell are you doing out here without a fucking jacket?" His hand brushed against her sleeveless shirt.
"'Cuz I wasn't thinking," Kalika looked away from his dark brown eyes.
"Damn, kid," he muttered in the same tone Kayleigh had earlier. He pulled a sweatshirt from the backseat and pushed it at her, then gestured to the car. He glanced to his left, finally noticing Kayleigh, and nodded in her direction.
"Whose sweatshirt is this?" Kalika asked. She had never seen it before, but it was comfortable and smelled very nice.
"It's…it belongs to a friend of mine who's visiting from out of town," Rafe replied, never looking at her. She could tell that something was up by the way he was acting, but she didn't push it.
The three of them climbed into Rafe's car, and Rafe immediately put the heat on high for Kalika. He looked at Kalika, and gently pulled her to him in one of his bear hugs. He always knew when she needed one.
"Things getting' bad again?" he whispered into her ear.
"Yeah," she replied, burying her face in the curve between his neck and his shoulder.
"Must've been pretty bad if you brought her," he whispered back. He knew that Kalika wouldn't have brought Kayleigh, nor would Kayleigh have come, if it weren't bad.
"He was getting drunk when we left. I didn't want to stick around for him to come after me again when he got done with Mom," Kalika shrugged. She felt Rafe tense up. She had finally just recently told him that he father often beat her when he got drunk, which had pissed him off.
Rafe froze when she said that. "Again?" he asked. His voice was cold.
Kalika nodded, refusing to look up at him. He tilted her face up, scowling when he saw the dried blood on her lip.
Kalika pulled back so he could drive; she wanted to get as far away from her parents as possible. "Let's just go…"
"Where you wanna go?" Rafe asked, knowing full well she didn't want to go to his place. He didn't really seem to want to either. There were too many memories there, between the two of them. Memories from when they had been together, a time when Kalika had been slightly happy. He had convinced her to stay there as much as he possibly could, to keep her out of her house. That had only lasted a few months though, until she had walked in one night to find him in bed, drunk, with another girl. It had completely broken her heart, not that anyone knew that. Even Kayleigh didn't know, though Kalika knew she suspected that it had happened. Rafe had chased Kalika for months, trying to get her to forgive him and to give him a second chance. Kalika didn't believe in second chances. She agreed to be friends with him, though, nothing more. It was hard enough to stay like that at first. She had wanted to hold him as they had once, kiss him, and touch him. She never let herself though, and finally got over it. Both of them had finally moved on.
"I don't care," she replied, trying not to think about what had been. "Anywhere but here."
Rafe grinned, almost sadly as if he had been remembering too, and started driving. None of them knew where they were going, just that they didn't want to go home.
They drove in silence for a few minutes until Rafe finally said, "Kali, do you want me to get you out of this?"
Kalika knew he could get her out of it, and he would take her away to somewhere she could be safe and free of this nightmare. The bastard would never be able to touch her again…then thoughts of her mother and family came to her. She knew her little brothers, Krishna, Korbin, and Ket, would follow her anywhere. Bill went after Ket, who had just turned fifteen, the oldest of the three boys, too, when he wasn't acting the way Bill felt he should or if he ever stood up for Kalika. Korbin and Krishna were both too young to understand. Korbin was ten and Krishna was eight, and both just saw that Bill was an angry person and hid when he flipped out. Kayleigh, though, wouldn't leave. Eventually, Bill would turn on Kayleigh, whom he adored, since Kalika wasn't there to take it. Kalika couldn't leave her twin behind, especially if it meant letting her get hurt.
"I can't…" she whispered, staring straight ahead. A part of her wanted to cry, the broken heart that wanted to leave so much, to be free of the pain and the hell that she lived in. She refused to though. She never cried, ever, especially not in front of other people. At that moment, though, her heart tore. Rafe was promising her a life of happiness, a life where she wouldn't have to be afraid or sad. Something I'll never have… she thought. Her eyes welled up with tears for a split second, but she blinked them away quickly, knowing that it wasn't worth it.
"Kali…" Rafe began to plead. His voice was full of concern.
"No," she stated, her tone rough. She would never allow Rafe to beg. He was better than that.
Rafe sighed, running his hand over his blond spikes, continuing to drive. Kalika looked over at him, wishing she didn't hurt him like she did. His face held its emotionless state, as it always did, but his green eyes, while staring ahead, were sad. She knew he hated that he couldn't protect her from this. He been able to protect her from everything bad since she had met him years ago, but this was one thing he was unable to stop.
"Thanks, Rafe," Kalika said, truly meaning it. Then, in a softer tone, she said, "Thanks for everything."
Rafe looked at her sadly, nodding slowly. "No prob, kiddo," he replied. He held her eyes for a moment, as if trying to get her to completely forgive him. He knew as well as she did that she had never forgave him, and though she still completely trusted him with everything else, a part of her still hurt from that night. He would never know just how much, though, she vowed silently, tearing her eyes from his as they hardened. She didn't like that he was able to catch how she felt sometimes.
"We'd better be getting back," Kayleigh said quietly. "It's getting late."
Kalika nodded in agreement, and Rafe turned the car in the direction of their house, unhappily. "I don't like that I'm sending you back there."
"You're not," Kalika said, her voice hard. "I'm going back by my own choice."
"You wouldn't go any other way," he sighed. "You're too damn stubborn."
"And don't you forget it," she replied, cockily.
They rode in silence as they got closer to the house. Rafe didn't want to her to go, but she couldn't stay. Both of them knew that. Krishna would be home from his friend's house soon, and Kalika didn't want him to be there with Bill alone.
Rafe pulled the car up in front of the house, his mood somber. As Kalika opened the door and started stepping out of the car, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back in. "I'm sorry, Kali," he whispered, pulling her close to him. She knew it was the first and probably the last time he had apologized to someone. Rafe was never that way.
She looked up at him, her eyes revealing very little of the huge amount of emotion that she felt. "It's too late," she said, sadly. "We can't go back, Rafe."
"I know…" he looked straight into her eyes. "But at least know that I am sorry for what I did. I know I can never have you back, but at least I can let you know that. I'll never stop caring for you, my little Kali. You're my best friend, and I never want to lose that. Come over tomorrow for dinner or something."
"God knows you and your friends need a decent meal," she said, smiling. She had never seen them eat at all, and their fridge was filled with just junk food.
"Then come by and visit. Everyone misses you," he replied.
Kalika nodded, pulling away from him. She half smiled at him, then climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind her. She walked up to the house with Kayleigh, not looking back once.
"Kali!" Krishna screamed from behind her as he ran up the driveway, followed closely by Ket and Korbin. He leapt into her arms as she spun around to meet him.
"Hey kiddo," she said, as he gripped her tightly. "How was your day?"
"Good! You should'a seen what I made in art…" Kalika watched as Rafe stared at them through the window of his car, as Krishna talked about his art project. Rafe watched them for a few moments, and then slowly drove away. She smiled down at her little brother as he went on about school.
"Come on," Kalika said as he finished. "Let's go get dinner."
The boys nodded and they all of them walked in the front door. Kalika shut it behind them as silently as she could, not wanting to wake their father, who was passed out on the couch. She wanted to get as far on making dinner as she could before he woke up. If she didn't, he'd probably start in on her again, and her jaw was still throbbing from their earlier encounter.
"Go get started on your homework," she whispered as the boys took off their coats and shoes. "And don't leave a mess."
Korbin and Krishna nodded and ran upstairs while Ket paused at the doorway. "He got you again, didn't he?" he asked.
Kalika nodded, gently touching her jaw. She could tell a nasty looking bruise was starting to form there, meaning she would have to come up with yet another excuse when her teachers noticed at school.
Ket looked at the floor, worriedly. "Kali-"
"Go get your homework done, Ket," she interrupted. "Don't let the boys come down until I call you guys and stay away from Bill. He's been drinking…" She trailed off, letting her eyes wander to where Bill was passed out on the couch. "God knows where Mom is, so just keep them quiet, okay?"
Ket sighed and nodded, then quickly disappeared. Kalika hated that they had to go through this. Three more months until I'm eighteen, she thought, hope building inside of her. Then I'll get them out of here, and they'll never have to worry about him again. She just hoped that she made it through the next few months. She was the backbone of the family, and Bill knew it. None of them would have made it that far without her, and he knew that Kayleigh wasn't strong enough to make it out in the real world on her own. If only Bill would sober up, then her mother would too and Kalika wouldn't have to do all the work she shouldn't have to do.
Kalika got into the kitchen and found Ket already in there, making the salad. "Ket…" she said.
"I know, Kali, I know," Ket said. "But let me help you, I don't have much homework!"
Kalika smiled softly at her little brother, nodding. She knew what Bill didn't know: that if anything happened to her, Ket could easily take over. He was just as strong as she was. "Thanks, Ket," she finally whispered.
"Yeah, well, I don't want you getting into trouble with him again," he replied, looking at her worriedly.
Bill always blamed Kalika for everything when he was drunk, she figured because she was the one who looked most like their father. She had their father's hair and eyes, and most of all his spirit. Bill had known their father and had always been jealous of the man. The twins had been his only daughters, but that hadn't mattered to him. He had taken off right after the twins had been born, and after he left, their mother had changed. Once a kind, caring women, she began drinking and married Bill to hide her pain, only to cause that wonderful women to disappear into a dark abyss. It was replaced by an angry, bitter woman, who hated seeing her children because they all reminded her of her happy days. Except, of course, Kayleigh, who looked exactly like their mother.
Ket, Korbin and Krishna were all from different men. Their mother didn't know which kid belonged to whom, not that it mattered much to her. She had been drunk off her ass and had slept with several men. Once Bill came into their lives, though, her mother at least had straightened up a little bit. She had still stopped caring about Kalika, mostly due to how much she was like her father.
Bill always thought it was necessary to hit Kalika when he was drinking. He always found something wrong with what she was doing, whether it be something she messed up or an invisible part that she screwed up, though it was never there in the first place. Just the day before, Kalika had been beaten for forgetting to put away a small cloth in her hurry to finish the other chores her father weighed on her.
Kalika finished cooking, trying not to think about what was happening to their lives. Ket had already set the table for her and gone upstairs, and Bill was just waking up. He stalked into the kitchen, shouting, "What took you so long to make the dinner, child?" He never used her name. Perhaps it reminded him that she was a real person that he was hurting, or maybe he just didn't like it.
"Sorry," she said, placing the food on the table. The contempt she had for him welled up inside of her, but she refused to say anything because it would bring trouble on the boys as well.
Everyone but Krishna came downstairs and sat at the table. Krishna, even at the age of six, was a very sick child. He had nightmares all of the time, and barely ever slept due to them. When he did sleep, they didn't wake him. They all remained silent, though Bill and their mother spoke back and forth occasionally and talked to Kayleigh.
When they finally finished, se cleared the table and had started cleaning the dishes until a soft cry was heard form upstairs. Not even glancing at Bill, she rushed up the stairs and to her little brother's room, where she sat on the bed next to him.
"Kali," he sobbed, clinging to her.
"It's all right…shh, it's all right little one," she whispered in his ear, pulling him into her lap. She placed a hand on his head, feeling the fever. He had been okay a few hours earlier, but these fevers came on suddenly with him.
"Is he all right?" she heard Ket say from the door.
"I don't know," she said, quietly, once Krishna had calmed down. "Take Korbin to your room and go do your homework, okay?"
Ket nodded and took Korbin out of the room, saying, "I finished the dishes for you."
"Thanks Ket," she replied, gratefully. "I don't know what I would do without you." Ket smiled over his shoulder before disappearing around the corner. He was definitely able to help her out whenever she needed it.
Kalika looked back down at Krishna, who stared up at her tearfully. "It's okay, sweetie," she whispered, rubbing his back. She lay him back down on the bed and continued to rub his back and play with his hair.
"What's going on?" Bill's gruff voice came, shaking a bit from the alcohol.
"He's still sick," Kalika said as quietly as she could, biting back a sarcastic reply and hoping he wouldn't become angry. He just scoffed and retreated downstairs to his room, slamming the door behind him, leaving Kalika and Krishna alone.
When Krishna fell asleep, Kalika tucked him in and kissed his forehead. She checked on Ket and Korbin, finding them both fast asleep. She carried Korbin back to his room, putting him to bed, then shut off the lights in both rooms and went to her room.