I Always Will

I hide myself from the world.
Revealing nothing.
I paint my face
And smile at you
So you don't see the real me.
But you look past my face
And into my heart.
You know what I feel.
You appeared right before me
A knight in shining armour
And rescue me from the dark.
My life became colourful.
I felt great when with you.
We were the greatest of friends,
You were like... a brother-
But I couldn't fool myself
I was in love with you.
I hid it
As much as before
But like then too,
You knew all along.
Life was perfect for me
I had you.
Until you asked for my only prize.
You asked for my innocence.
I gave in,
I was in love!
But that was my first mistake.
I gave it to you
Not regretting at all
But then you took it and crushed it
Adding it to your wall.
You became distant.
So unlike you.
You drank alcohol,
And called me whenever you needed bailing.
I caught you one night.
In another's arms.
You hurt me, and played me
And I hated you.
But I couldn't hide from the fact that I still loved you.
I held back my pain.
I let you take me every night
But secretly I cry.
You moan of happiness
I moan of grief.
Your love was gone.
Now it was just lust.
It was never going to be the same again.
I tried to escape, but I was trapped.
Trapped in the palm of your hand.
You abused me.
Abused my love,
My body.
I know I should forget you, to move on.
But the image of you in my mind was just too strong.
It was the blindness of love that let you do this to me.
Emotionally I was lost.
Physically I was gone.
The pain was just too much.
I found the courage to do this
But not enough to tell you the truth.
I still love you.
In life.
In death,
I always will.
So in pain I tell you my last words.
I love you.
But I hate you.
And I will never stop thinking of you.