So... Three years later the Caterpillar returns... No, I guess it hasn't been that long... Still, feels like it. I'm sorry, you little muskrats, but you must understand that I have a very severe case of ADHD. Okay, I'm making that up, but still, I lose interest at the speed of Superman. sniff I hope you still love me. looks pathetic
A certain hotel in the Japanese woodlands sat silhouetted against the setting sun. It was a warm, summery evening and in the dimly lit forests, all was silent but for a few chirping crickets. (They were chirping in Japanese, of course, however that works) In an instant, the silence was banished to the farthest corners of the universe as a loud tour bus screeched to a halt outside of Mushi Mushi Ryokin.
Out jumped four oversized spider-like spirits with wide eyes and chubby, round faces. The two girls sported gigantic, hair-sprayed blond wigs, while the boys pulled off a mullet, and a flat-top. All of them were coated with colorful, messy make-up. They looked very much like clowns, especially with their biker shorts, jean jackets, parachute pants, mini-skirts, leg-warmers, Vans, jelly bracelets, Converse, and, yes, earrings shaped like Rubix cubes.
Yaiba watched from the window with suspicion as the... interesting quartet scurried to the door. He saw a handful of roadies unloading everything from an electric guitar to an accordion, and several instruments in between. This didn't look good. It looked very loud, and very tacky. Although these things were bad, as a connoisseur of evil, Yaiba disapproved greatly.
"Tentomushi!" he called from his spot, "You might wanna see this!" The elegant inn-keeper hurried to the window next to him, her Grecian robes billowing out behind her. She peered out at the band, which was almost to the door now, and frowned.
"What are they?" she asked, uncertain how to react to the bunch, and a bit repulsed by their terrible sense in fashion. She prided herself on her impeccable style and could never understand tackiness.
"Bugs?" Yaiba answered. It was more like a question, really.
Tento-san shook her head and smiled. "Whatever they are, we shall be nice to them. They're paying guests, which is not something you can say about yourself." She glided to the door, to welcome the band.
"Hey!" her companion called after her. "I'm a janitor, I earn my keep!"
At dinner that night, everyone was aprehensive about the new guests. They called themselves Bombs Made with Poisonous Metal, which Matesako, as the resident music lover, found repulsive. When they came downstairs, everyone got quiet and tried to look at them without being obvious. The spider spirits didn't notice, but merely sat down and beamed at the food before them.
One of the girls, the one in a black and white striped tube top, flipped her huge hair at Mate and said, "We're going to be rehearsing tonight, if you'd like to listen to us." He shook his head furiously.
"Oh no, I've got to... paint my toenails."
Kemushi snickered. "Interesting excuse, wanna borrow my Coral polish?"
He glared at her and whispered back. "It was the first thing that came to mind!"
"That can't be a good sign."
"Children!" Tentomushi's crisp voice cut through their bickering. She gave the BMPMs a warm smile. "We'd be happy to listen to you. Would you like us to come to your room?"
The girl shook her head and Mate moved his plate away to protect it from contamination. "Oh no, you'll be able to here us."
The guy with the mullet nodded proudly. "Oh yes, our amps go up to eleven, you see!" Ke-chan raised her eyebrows and smiled.
"Yeah? And how many drummers have you had?"
"Just one..." The group looked confused, so she dug back into her chicken stir-fry.
With dinner ajourned, and Yaiba and Rumble set to clean-up duties, the rest of the group headed to the hallway outside of the BMPMs room. They listened curiously as the band rustled through their assorted instruments and got ready. Suddenly, the world's loudest drum solo broke out, quickly accompanied by a screaming off-tune guitar. The Mushi-Mushi staff dropped to the floor and covered their ears.
"WTF IS THIS JUNK?" Kemushi yelled over the blasts of trumpet.
"I BELIEVE IT'S CALLED MUSIC!" her sister answered. Yaiba came rushing upstairs, also holding his ears. He looked terrified.
"WHAT'S GOING ON?" he demanded. The rest of them nodded towards the band's room, where an unearthly wailing had begun. "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" They ran outside, where the noise was slightly less deafening. Around them, the ground quaked slightly, like it had during the last earthquake.
"THAT'S TERRIBLE!" Ke-chan shouted at Matesako. He glared at her and uncovered his ears.
"You can lower your voice now, okay?"
"WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! SPEAK UP!"
The dark-haired boy sighed. "Great. She's deaf. Now I'm gonna hafta learn sign language and buy books in braille..."
"That's for blind people," Tento-san corrected with a smile. "Still, she does seem to have temporarily lost her hearing... And little wonder, with all that racket... What are we going to do about them?"
"Eat them?" a certain unhelpful spirit suggested hopefully. Yaiba shot him a look then cleared his throat.
"I have a very good plan, actually." With the exception of Kemushi, they all turned to look at him. Keiko snorted in amusement. "No, I do!" He said, frowning. "Listen, spiders are afraid of birds, right? So if we all dressed up like giant birds, we'd scare them away!"
"Huh..." Tentomushi considered. "That's an interesting suggestion, Yaiba. Now," she turned back to the group. "What are we going to do about those bugs?"
His jaw dropped. "What? You're not even going to try it?!" The red-haired elf shook her head violently. "That's not fair! C'mon give me a chance!" She sighed.
"Okay. Giant birds it is. Let's get ready."
Their practice ended, the BMPMs clung restfully to the walls. One of the girls applied lipstick distractedly. They were proud after their great session, but a little concerned. Most hotels had thrown them out right when they started playing, but this was now strangely quiet. There was a knock at the door.
"Yes, come in then!" the one with the flat-top called. When the door opened, they were confronted with five large birds, two small ones, and Kemushi, standing confused with the creatures. The spiders screamed in surprise and jumped up.
"Yaiba! Birds do not say woof!"
"Damnit I mean caw!"
"Birds!" the band screamed, scurrying to the window. "Help!"
Ke-chan wiggled her finger in her ear. "Huh?" They screamed again, and, grabbing up all the scattered instruments, leaped out the window and ran to their tour bus. When they were gone, the 'birds' took off their masks and cried hooray.
"Thank God it'll be quiet around here now!" Keiko remarked to her friend. Once again, Ke-chan wiggled her finger.
"Did you say something?"
"I SAID, 'THANK GOD IT'LL BE QUIET AROUND HERE NOW!"
"Sheesh Keiko, do you gotta be so loud? People'll think you're deaf."
And so ends yet another episode in the Mushi-Mushi story. If I write another chapter, it will feature a very bad, very soul-stealing boarder, and Matesako saving the day like the sexy he is. I'm sure by now, you think I'm a real idiot, but I'll have you know that I know what I'm doing. If I ever made a television show, this would be it. Either that, or I'd fund the animated adventures of the Gorillaz, who are the ultimate sexies. Ooo! Gorillaz meets Mushi-Mushi. And then, Bip falls in love with Noodle, who destroys the world, and only Kemushi, and my sexy 2D can prevent it, but then Mate would get jealous and they'd duke it out on Mt. Rushmore and... Yeah, I'll shut up. I'm sorry. This isn't even fit for print. I should by lynched for this. Kemushi: "HUH?"