Finding Herself... Again

Chapter 1:

Her heels clicked in rhythm as she walked down the hallway of the school building. West watched in slience as she walked by without so much as sparing him a glance.

Just as she had done every day of the year for the last nine years.

Fé (pronounced 'Fay') and West had been the best of friends back in grade school. Up until the third grade that is. The major breakup in their frienship hadn't taken place until the sixth but looking back third grade was when it had all started.

As one of the prettiest girls, with long platinum hair, large deep blue eyes and flawless ivory skin she was the epitome of a wanna be 'Ms. Perfect' supermodel. Even as a little girl her looks were rather obvious and many of the kids wanted to be her friends and as she grew, nearly the entire male population of Weston High swooned over her to get a date.

West on the other hand had become what others would commonly term as a badass, a rebel and a social reject. But that was only an outward demeanour. On the inside he was just another guy. He never skipped classes, never smoked but the way he brushed aside everyone made it hard for people to get along with him. Girls used to throw themselves at his feet but he barely glanced at them which resulted in nasty rumors.

To some extent West held Fé responsible for his character. West ruefully shook his head as he remembered the time when Fé had been a friend and not some bitchy cheerleader. A slight smile graced his face as an image of a six year old Fé, covered in mud came to his mind. She used to be his best friend but now he doubted if she was even aware of his existence.

Even if by chance they were ever together she would ignore him so skillfully that West would begin to doubt his own existence. He still remembered the day their frienship was officially over.

Twelve year old West smiled as he spotted Fé sitting on a swing.

"Hi," he greeted.

"Oh," Fé replied not bothering to keep the disappointment out of her voice, "what do you want?"

West felt his heart sink but he continued, "We really haven't hung out much lately?" he said.

"I told you I was busy," Fé replied in a bored tone looking over to where her friends were.

"I know," he said, "but I just wish it were like old times."

"Old times?" she asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"You know," West said, "when we always had time for each other."

"I've got more important things to do than hang out with you," Fé said not at all bothered at the implication of her words, "I have friends."

"I was your best friend!" West said hurt seeping into his voice.

"No you weren't," she said annoyed, "I was with you only because there was no one else at that time! Now that I have friends who are really cool I don't need to hang out with some loser! Go bother someone else."

"What are you talking about?' he said horrified at the words that came out of her mouth.

"Open your eyes," Fé scoffed, "I'm popular but you will always be the that loser kid with the stupid name! who'd want to be your friend anyway?"

With that she stood up and strutted away to her friends. West felt his eyes begin to burn with unshed tears as he watched her, sudden anger filling his mind.

"I'll never talk to you again!" he yelled pathetically.

"See if I care," she said not even bothering to look back.

"What's up, West?"

West turned his brown eyes to see one of his few friends, Nate walk up to him and smiled.

"Eying the ice bitch again?" Nate asked as his gaze travelled to where the gorgeous blonde who stood in the arms of her quarterback boyfriend, Jason. A strange feeling twisted the pit of West's stomach as he watched Jason run his fingers over Fé's side rubbing her skin just under the hem of her short top making her giggle. He turned away in disgust.

Didn't the girl have any respect for her self?

She was dressed like anyother member of her clique in extremely revealing clothing. Micro mini skirts absolutely tiny tops, sometimes West felt a bikini would cover more. How they got away with it in school was beyond him.

"She's not worth it, man," Nate said tugging at his sleeve, "let's go."

"Hey baby."

Fé felt strong hands grab her waist and squeeze it. She smiled as she turned to see the handsome face of her boyfriend.

"Hey, Robbie," she said softly with a giggle as she felt his fingers caress her skin. He pressed his lips to hers and its urgent plea for sex didn't go unnoticed by Fé.

"You going to Cassie's party tonight?" he asked with a rather feral grin on his face.

"Of course," she purred looking at him through her lashes.

"I'll call you," he said.

"Oh my God," squealed Amanda, "is that skirt like new? It's so cute!"

"So looks like you didn't take my advice," Anne said.

Fé forced a smile on her face. She and Rob had been going out for nearly a month and since the beginning he had been pressuring her for a more intimate relationship that she was willing to partake in. Of late he had become a little more demanding and had even threatened to leave. Fé really wanted to keep Robbie but giving up her virginity to him didn't seem right.

"You should come to your senses," joined in Amanda, "you know he can have any girl he wants. You should be happy he chose you."

"Don't mess it up," Anne said, "just give him what he wants."

As she walked to class Fé was deep in thought. She couldn't afford to let Robbie dump her, she had had the biggest crush on him for ages. They were destined to be together. Anne was right, she couldn't mess it up. After all she was in love right? What was wrong with giving up your virginity to someone you love? It was supposed to be so right.

Then why didn't she want to?

Why did it feel so wrong?

But if he left her then all her friends would scorn her saying that it was her fault and that she had been petty. How would she face the world then? She would be rejected by everyone and she couldn'e bear that!

Tonight at the party she would do it, Fé told herself, it was expected of her.

As she walked towards the cafeteria for lunch she collided with someone. He mouth hung open in shock as she felt a thick liquid seep into her blouse.

She looked up at the girl who had collided with her and her eyes blazed in fury, all the frusteration and confusion tightening into a mix of emotions in her mind.

"You bitch!" she shrieked, "couldn't you even see where you're going?!"

"I'm sorry," the girl said looking distressed, "I – I didn't see..."

"Bitch! Do you even know how much that top cost?!"

"I'm sorry," the girl mumbled tears springing in her eyes as the people in the hallway stopped to stare. She pulled out a handkerchief and tried to dab the paint off Fé.

"Stop it!" Fé yelled, "You're making it worse!"

"I'm really sorry..."

"What, are you blind?! Or is it that you're so stupid that you don't even know that you have to move out of the way when someone comes?!"

"In that case you should have taken your own advice and gotten out of the way."

West couldn't stop the words that came out of his mouth. All of a sudden he'd had enough of of her bitchiness.

"Nobody asked you!" she screamed.

"I've had enough of your pathetic vandetta against all those who are not like you!" West shouted back, "cut people some slack!"

"Shut up!" she screamed, "you're the one who's pathetic! You and your pathertic friends!"

The situation had now spun out of control but his next words worsoned it.

"Maybe we're pathetic," he said quietly, "at least we're not all sluts."

At the venomous glare that Fé sent him West thought he had won the fight but her next words cut him to the core.

"You call me a slut today," Fé said with an equally deathly calm, "but remember that you were the one desparately trying to hold onto me as a friend like some lost puppy. You're still sore over my rejection. You never had a life of your own West, you needed me there so you could have one. Now you're just some wannabe social rebel with no life and a weird name."

With a haughty toss of her silver head she spun on her heels and walked away. West stared after her in shock as bitterness seeped through his very soul. He had lost yet again and she had won putting him back where he had been six years ago in the park. Only this felt a hundred times worse.

A.N: Tell me what you guys think of the characters. Does Fé really come off as a bitch? I have a thing for unusual names so please forgive me :o)Hope you guys liked it. Those who read 'The Outcast' might find Fé's situation resembling Michelle's. to tell you the truth this plot came into my head after I wrote that chapter on Michelle.