The attack of the Mary Sues
I HATE MARY-SUES! (A/N: this might have something to do with the fact I
am a feminist and a s. .f., but no matter). This is also why I probably
write stories about average girls, not the ideals.
A/n: for all you ignorant people who don't know what a Mary-sue is, I'll
give you a definition:
Mary-sue: a Mary-sue is generally the 'perfect girl' the author
introduces. You know, pert boobs, know karate, has an IQ of like. 199, two
names (A/N: like: Mary-sue [nuh duh], Jenny-Marie, you get the picture),
and most of all: she has a 'dark and mysterious' past. Or is a witch. You
get the idea. Some thing wrong, which the hot main character (A/N: male,
you sickoes) will discover and help her with.
Also, the author of M-S fic will sometimes (A/N: to add plot) make the M-S
plotting with the main characters worst enemy, helping him/her to kill them
(A/N:not the M-S).
Hope that will help you understand this fic.
Oh yeah, this fic is written in typical and stereotypical form, i.e.: how
most author write Mary-sue fics. E.g.: Mary-Sue, who was not only smart,
sexy, brilliant, and very. blah blah blah, etc. etc. etc.
Attack of the "Secret Past" Mary-Sue
Main character: Peter; hot in every way guy with an enormous IQ.
Mary-Sue: this 'girl' has a secret past, pert boobs, blonde hair and blue
eyes, etc. Also and enormous IQ.
Insignificant others: Peter's Girlfriend (referred to as "her", "she" or
"that bitch/hoar") (A/N: just a joke peter has no gf in this story because
I'm too LAZY)
People from "the secret past" (dun-dun-duuunnnnn)

Peter was sitting in his math's class, acing a test as usual, when the
teacher walked in and told them the test had been cancelled *universal sigh
of relief*.
"class, we have a new student. Her name is M-S (A/N: im to lazy to write
Mary-Sue). She has moved from ***insert place*** and will be with us for
the rest of the year (A/N: failed to mention. The kids are in year
twelve)." *pause as everyone takes in m-s's good looks, blue eyes etc* said
the teacher. " now I need someone to show m-s around the school.?"
strangely everyone put their hands up, but the teacher picked Peter (A/N:
-what- a coincidence ;-).
"why thank you, sir." purred m-s (A/N: yes, purred. Even though she don't
even know his name. Now remember, this is a parody of all things Mary-sue,
so a lot will be criticized. If you don't like a lot of funny comments in
the story, get out now)
**********end class time**********
"Well, m-s," said peter. " follow me, I must take you around the school
(A/N: said in -really- bad-actor way)."
"sure thing," said m-s (A/N: no more purring. I -hate- purring) "can you
show me where the oval is?"
"yes, my dar- I mean. whatever."
**********cut to oval***********
"well, this is nice," said m-s.
"Yeah," said peter. "sooooooooo. have you ever been behind a music-house
(A/N: Minimbah [my primary school] joke-ish. My friends and I would always
go behind the music-house, because it illegal, so we got a kick
out of it)?"
"no, but I think I might like it."
********cue cheesy lovey-dovey lines and longest snog-fest know to
"ooooh you're a good kisser (A/N: puke)"
"so are you hunny-bunny-wunny-sunny-funny-runny (A/N: nose! *Snort* yes
it was lame.) (A/N: I can't take much more of this)
***************cut to date in. ice-creamery, one month later***************
"Petery-wetery darling, you know I love you." M-s sighed.

(A/N: this particular parody is quite short, but that's what authoresses do
when they want to get to the secret past)
"Yes, my hunny-bunny-wunny-sunny-funny-runny. Of course I do." Said Petery-
wetery (A/N: peter, just in case you didn't know).
"OH MY GOD!" m-s faints (A/N: but conveniently -after-
pointing out the window)
*peter sees brief flash of evil-looking figure. Cue blink, and figure is
*shaking m-s* " oh, hunny-bunny-wunny-sunny-funny-runny, are you alright?!
(A/N: of course not, genius)
*m-s shakes head and gets up* "of course I am, Petery-wetery." (A/N: I
swear this is how peeps write. *shudder*. Don't get me wrong I looove
romance novels, but this is just -WRONG- people. Wrong.)
A/N: I know this chapter is really short, but this is only part one.
Muahahahahahahaha*choke*hahahahahahaha! I made this story into two parts
because I really wanted to get it up and I need to update 'It's not my
Fault'. Sayonara,

Sophie-Chan ^-^