I found out what I am today-

The phrase for it is "binge drinker";
The doctor says it's a problem.
I smile sweetly: no problems here.

If it's a choice between brain cells
And real life, I'd lose the cells
They don't see much use anyway
It's not like I drink to forget.

It's only a problem if I can't
Stop, right?
Then what's the big deal?
Stop making it worse than it is.
Because it's really not that bad.

So today I found out what I am-
The phrase for it is "binge drinker";
And I think she's making it up
Because there are no problems here.

I raise the bottle to my lips
And give a toast; no problems here.