My Neighbors' Porch Light

My neighbors left their porch light on again
I'm sorry to tell you it's blue
And as I toss and I turn I wish
every wish that I wish would come true

I wish that they'd wake up tied up
surrounded by ravenous mice
I wish that they'd show up in china
caught in tiny bowls of fried rice

I wish that a starving anteater
suddenly found them coating his tongue
and I wish that their pot addict father
suddenly found weasels in his cancerous lung

I wish that the tectonic plates
suddenly shifted right under their house
I wish that a flamethrowers got loose
and burned them before any water could douse

I wish that 80,000 rampaging platypus
stampeded right over their yard
I wish that their four metallica tickets
in their hands turned into pieces of lard.

Oh, I am gouging out my throbbing eyes
and whispering Latin words under my breath
"I hate those *** **" I sigh
'I'll swear I'll wish them to death"

Oh the terrible chilling things that I wish
But I'll tell you the reason I do
all because I knew, that they knew
that they'd left it on too.