Cynical Thoughts From a Leprechaun

By: Nymbis

Summary: Dilem McDermott: suave, green, freckled, stubborn, greedy, short, sarcastic, and a leprechaun. What's not to want?

Prologue: A Short Note From a Short Author

Hello all, I'm Dilem McDermott. Yes, Dilem, not Dylan. I swear if you call me Dylan I will deliver a swift kick to your shin, which sadly, is probably the only part I can reach.

I'm a leprechaun. Oh ya, lo and behold, a creature that isn't remarkably handsome, undead, or suffering from some tragic (I say this with the deepest sarcasm) curse which only allows true love to free me from it. I am not a hero. Nor am I some misunderstood hottie who really just uses the façade of greed to shield my inner thoughts because I am secretly in love with some girl next door.

Nope, just a plain old leprechaun.

But before you start shaking your head and decide to click on a different link for a story with some ancient, but studly, vampire who was a tragic past, know this:

We leprechauns are easily one of the most overlooked creatures in history.

That's right, we're not some stereotyped short, redheaded, bagpipe playing, gold mongering skeeves. Oh no, we're far more interesting.

Well, ok. I'm short, have reddish hair, and I have an obsessive problem when it comes to gold or any other shiny objects. But I do NOT play bagpipes. So ha.

Anyways, I suppose I should get on with the story.

And what a story it is! Its got laughs, action, curses (none of which, I might add, transform me into a frog or any other type of cliché.), and heck, maybe even a little love story.

So sit back, relax, and hear a story from a real supernatural being.

~ Dilem McDermott

Oh yes, if you even dare decide to ignore this tale, and opt for a vampire or werewolf love story, I swear I will call forth my leprechaun minions, do a jig, and curse you forever more so that you will NEVER have a happy life nor will your children, or your children's children, or your children's children's children. Your crops will be barren, and your wealth shall vanish, and you will be forced to drink straight prune juice and eat bran cereal with no sugar coating for the rest of your natural born lives.

Have a nice day!