First, Larkspur8, yeah, I knew about the problem with the Yen amount, but I was too lazy to fix it. I also had a problem with the school week, but I fixed that one before I posted this story. Yay for me. Thank you for your criticism, though. I'm glad to see that someone can see the problems with this story as I can. And I don't think anyone would like how Niki acted… Kito's just very timid anyway.
I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. Kito is NOT a whiny angst machine who cries at every chance he gets. He's just generally confused, and feeling stupidly guilty.
Enough of that shit. I don't like the first half of this chapter, but the second half is okay. I'll say more at the end. For now, read.
Ghosts
::
Third Chapter
::
Into the Great Beyond
Change is a gradual thing, I think.
It wasn't like all of a sudden I was normal; someone who could socialize, laugh with strangers, strike up a conversation about whatever came to mind... I was still introverted to the point of mental pain, but slowly, the feelings that human contact gave me were melting away. I flushed less and less, my skin remaining my normal body temperature when I was just brushed against in public – although if anyone tried groping me, I was still incredibly unnerved. Words traveled more fluently from my brain to my mouth; finally, everything that had been pent up inside me my entire life could be... I don't know. Set free? What was I to know how to vocalize my feelings? How could I get my point across to someone else?
Sometimes, I felt like human beings were so different from one another. Despite similarities, we're completely different. Despite being together, we're all alone. Who could experience exactly how another person feels? Who could understand someone else perfectly? I've heard that people change. I've been the same my entire life, I wasn't even sure I was changing at all.
One night as I lay in bed, I wondered if I was changing. It seemed possible, and Hirami was certainly pushing the possibilities. But a little voice nagged in my head, saying, Nobody changes... You're only unfolding what you are bound to become... And it's useless. I never understood where this voice was coming from. Useless? Many things were useless. Many things still are. So why did that tiny voice sound so smug, triumphant, about something I already knew?
I always felt a vague feeling of suspicion about that voice.
I thought of a lyric. It was from my favorite song, the one by the American band, slow, sad, beautiful.
I'm a stranger in this town...
I decided, after an agonizing three weeks, that I would accept Niki's apology. I admit that I hold grudges. Take my parents for example; while I had forgiven them their transgression on the surface of my mind, I knew that deep down a feeling of mistrust and resentment swelled for them.
So while I would never really forgive him, I could at least make it seem like I did. He did seem regretful about his actions. I supposed, hesitantly, that that would have to do for now. I certainly didn't trust him, and I don't think I'd ever be alone near him again, but with Hirami, or even Sara, I think that being in his presence would have been tolerable. Hirami, though, made it known that she was not pleased with his actions. Sara tried to act the same way, but I heard her asking Niki questions about the kiss, quietly in the background. It unnerved me a bit, to hear her asking Niki what I tasted like. No, I have to be honest with myself – it unnerved me completely. I couldn't believe she would actually ask someone how someone tasted. I had no idea people tasted like things... it was at that point where I took a firm grip of my thoughts and steered them in a more suitable direction.
That direction was my mother, and my mother was talking to me quietly in the hallway, inviting my to come down and watch a movie with my father and her. I blinked, suddenly back in my own head and into reality.
"...What...?" I asked quietly, my voice almost drowned out by hers – but she was my mother, and she caught the movement of my mouth, if nothing else.
"Oh, Kito, I was just asking if you've ever seen Ring before." In her hand she held a slim case – a DVD.
I thought for a moment, then answered, "I've heard of it," Hirami had been telling me about it a few days ago, actually. She was just someone who would like that kind of a movie. "It's supposed to be a horror movie, right?"
"Right!" She said. "I realize that I don't know much about you – even if I was the closest to you. Would you like to watch it with us?"
A moments pause before I accepted her offer. I had nothing to do in particular, and Hirami had nothing but good words for the movie. But, I had to consider the fact that she was crazy.
I sat on an armchair as they took the sofa, my mother putting in the disk and we settled in to watch the film with relative quiet, my father greeting me, which was the only sound before it started.
Halfway into the movie, Fue came to me. At the time, I was engrossed with what was on the screen so fully that it took a moment for me to realize he was there. I can't say what it was that captured my attention; the way the curse worked in killing people, or the looks on their faces after they had died. My mind linked the movie to my brother's death, somehow, but it didn't surface until a few moments after Fue whispered into my ear, "What are you watching, Kitosa?" I jumped, startled, but I was lucky that my mother jumped at the same moment – she was sitting on the edge of the sofa, eyes wide and jumping at every surprise. I blinked and saw Fue smiling curiously at me.
I waited for a scream in the movie to reply, "Ring. Ever seen a movie?"
"No." He sat with me in the seat and I leaned into him, somehow feeling his body firmly even though he was still – and always would be – in shades of blue. "What's it about?"
Death, I thought to myself, preparing to answer.
"Oh really? Death?"
I blinked, then thought, Death. People dying from watching a movie.
He chuckled softly, asking, "Aren't you afraid of dying from watching this movie, then?"
It's just a movie.
"That's what they thought."
Are you trying to scare me?
"Maybe." He smiled at me, curved his arm around my body, and held me close. My parents didn't notice. They didn't notice when the tears slipped from my eyes, either. But I didn't, either. Fue did, though.
"Kitosa, why are you crying?"
I'm crying? I reached up, and my fingers came away with wetness. I don't know why...
Kitari. My mind lamented in my head, privately to me. Kitari. Did he die like this? Or was this even too quick? ... Kitari...
"I'm sorry." He whispered into my ear.
For what, I asked.
"Everything."
It's not your fault.
"Maybe. But, Kito, I want you... to be careful. Be careful, please."
About what?
"I don't know."
We passed the rest of the film in quiet, my tears dried on my face, and Fue's warning fresh in my mind.
"Ooooh, you watched it? How was it?" Hirami asked me as we watched a pair of roller bladers skate by. We sat at the base of a tree, side by side as we talked. I told her of the movie and Fue's interest in it. I told her of my unnerving reaction. But I couldn't tell her what I thought of the movie.
"I don't know." I answered, truthfully, and focused my attention on the clouds overhead. I always thought it was interesting the way that clouds could reform on whim, becoming whatever they wished to be. I could almost hear them whispering 'look at me, I'll be anything you want me to be... just ask...'
"I always wonder what you're thinking when you get that look on your face." Hirami said to me and I blinked, casting my gaze to her face. She sat with her knees drawn to her chest and her arms wrapped around them, head pillowed.
"Oh... I was just thinking about clouds..."
She smiled, an expression that reached her eyes, and replied, "Kito, if you ever change, I will hurt you."
I smiled back and we settled in, silence stretching between us like an old blanket, well worn but always welcome.
A lot of things are like old blankets, I thought to myself as I felt my eyes droop. The best things are like old blankets...
Summer vacation is a lethargic time of the year... Along with being the warmest, it is the season that passes by the most noticeably, when the grass becomes brittle and you can smell autumn sneaking around the corner, bringing with it the inevitability of the trees losing their leaves. I sat, alone, I think, on the roof just to the left of my window, arms wrapped around my legs in the dying sunset. I missed gazing over the yard with only my thoughts to accompany me. I only now realized it, though, and appreciated the quiet sounds of nature as I studied the swaying trees.
My mother and father had left earlier that day, on what mission or errand I'm not sure. They were vague when they explained, but I didn't mind, really. So the house was empty except for the vestiges of Fue's memories. Sometimes he still found himself lost in them, forgetting that he was dead, and he was only reliving something that was caught in his mind. In an odd way, I felt safer when I came across the sound of children's laughter when there were no children, or the sight of kids playing hide and seek. It seemed so simple, to lose oneself in the past. Even Fue did it.
My attention began to turn to Fue. On one side of the coin, I felt happy about him being with me, watching over me... but there was a sad side. It wasn't fair that he should be stuck in some strange limbo for reasons he couldn't help. My eyes locked onto the still cherry trees. Their bark was as black as it was during the night, even in the fiery rays of sunset. My stomach clenched as I looked at them and my heart began to beat faster. My brother...
I blinked and my entire body froze as I came across a thought. Why didn't I think of this sooner?
Was my brother's soul trapped in those trees? If Fue was still here, then, my brother...
"Oh... Kita..." I whispered to myself and stood up, never once tearing my gaze from those twisted trees.
"Are you... in there?"
I had to know.
I didn't think about how crazy my idea was. I didn't think of how wrong this could go, and I certainly didn't notice if the thought crossed my mind about what would happen if I were right... or wrong.
I simply had to know.
The screen door banged shut behind me, but it was a soft, drowned sound compared to the roaring in my head. I couldn't even hear any other thoughts except 'Are you in there?'
Are you in there, brother?
I didn't notice how quickly I arrived in front of the thrush of trees. I was simply there, and unable to think of what to do next. The fear that had never occurred to me crept upon my heart at that moment, and I realized that I simply had no way of getting to my brother if he was in there; I had no doubt that once I set my foot within those shadows, I was fair game. But who was to say that I wasn't already? It never crossed my mind; once the sun set, then what?
I couldn't just stand there, though! I had to do something, anything...
"Kitari...?" I called, softly, relieved to find that my voice remained level and my breath didn't hitch. "Ki...tari?"
I must have imagined it, but the wind seemed to still and the air became chill – I wrapped my arms around myself, and called again. "Kitari... are you..." In there?
At that moment, the sun set.
Cool fingers wrapped around my forearm, jerking my backwards and I gasped, eyes widening and heart stopping for a second time that day.
"Don't call to him!" A voice whispered into my ear, and at the moment, I couldn't place it; I panicked, wrenching my arm from the strong grip. My foot caught on something – there was nothing in front of me, though! I pitched forward, and as I fell, I couldn't find my voice to say a word, to make any attempt at sound. All I saw was the darkness in front of me.
I realized I was going to die.
I woke up, groggily, to find someone stroking my cheek. A few moments more, and I heard a voice, the sound of which brought tears to my eyes for reasons I couldn't understand at the moment. Once more than a little coherent, I found myself next to the grove of cherry trees, not in it; the sun hadn't set yet. I blinked a few times, trying to get a good look at who was touching me.
It was me.
My jaw dropped and I couldn't seem to get it closed again.
"I really am dead." I said out loud.
"Of course not. You're very much alive, Kito." He, the other me, laughed, stroking down my cheek and neck absentmindedly. "Kito! Sounds so good to say."
As he spoke, I realized small differences. The first was his hair; my hair was completely straight, not poking up in odd places anywhere. His hair seemed to have a wild effect to it, standing out in soft spikes around his head. I knew I wasn't dreaming, though, because none defied gravity. The second thing that was different was his eyes. My eyes were dark blue, with no gray at all. His eyes... they blazed. They were so perfectly blue they seemed unreal; they were like blue fire.
Other than that... no, he was my exact image...
Or was I his?
"I..." I tried to speak, but couldn't find the words. It seemed to be on the tip of my tongue, but they just wouldn't be said. They refused to come out.
"Kito, I've missed you so much. I almost got to speak with you that day, you were all wet and you looked angry. But that damn samurai ghost stopped you! I hate him!"
"F...Fue?" I couldn't seem to keep up with what was happening; slowly, though, my mind was wrapping itself around an idea.
"Is that his name?" A look of contempt crossed his face, and was swiftly replaced by a smile. "Whatever – the point is he couldn't stop you from calling to me this time." His smile became softer as he whispered his next words. "... I heard you... and I came."
He pulled my up so my head rested on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my neck.
I made the connection, finally.
"Kitari?"
This was my brother? This boy was my brother? But... my brother... did I really find him? I reached up, slowly, and covered his hand with my own, to assure myself that he was real... or a ghost... or something. His hand was like mine; delicate and articulate, but incredibly cold, much like Fue's. So at least I knew that this was my brother's ghost.
He sighed, and murmured, "I didn't think I'd ever be able to talk to you... touch you... anything. I'm so lonely... I don't even know what's going on!"
I could almost feel him smile, and in that moment, my heart broke and my eyes filled with tears once more. "Why...?"
"Kito...?"
"Why...? Why did you have to die?!" I cried, lowering my head and closing my eyes as tears coursed down my cheeks unchecked. That single question dominated my thoughts. Why did my brother – someone so full of life even in death – have to die? Why didn't it take me instead?
"I HATE YOU!" I cried, to nothing in particular, curling into myself and pulling my brother with me.
He tensed and whispered into my ear, "Kito... why do you hate me?"
"Not you..." I moaned, my mind completely in tatters and soul miserable. "I hate... the ... the thing that took you from me. I hate it." I whispered my last words almost inaudibly, but passionately just the same.
"Kito." He laid a kiss on my jaw and hugged me tighter. "I died because I love you."
"Don't love me. Come back!"
"I can't do that – and, if given the chance, I'd do it again... except I'd spare you the pain of feeling it with me." My bones seemed to melt as his breath ran across my skin. His words left me in a strange, dreaming state and I closed my tired eyes – eyes that had cried too often as of late – tangling my fingers with his.
"But you could have saved them…"
"Saved?" His voice was full of a question he wanted me to answer. "Who?"
"Mom and dad."
"They died? What happened?!" He moved me around to face him, hands gripping my shoulders as he peered into my eyes. I lowered my head.
"They divorced each other. We're not a family any more…. And we never were." I laid myself against him, boneless and helpless. I had nothing left to fight with, anymore.
He laughed, a sound of relief. "That's all?" He hugged me tightly. "And here I thought you had no one left to take care of you." He exhaled, and laid his cheek against the top of my head. "Kito, it wasn't your fault; people change as time goes on, and they grow apart. Lots of couples divorce."
I was silent for a moment, and a small part of my mind registered that he smelled like oranges.
"But lots of them don't. Most of them." Kita rubbed his hands over my back in circles, an automatic soothing gesture.
"But it happens. It wasn't your fault."
I staid quiet – I knew it was my fault... but my resolve wavered a bit with Kitari's words; it was true that many couples married, then divorced... It might have happened anyway. But deep inside, I knew I was right. If he had lived, they would have been happy.
"They would have been proud..."
"Kito, Kito... stop blaming yourself for things you can't do anything about. You can't control the outcome of everything. In fact, there is very little you can influence it's laughable." One hand raised and stroked my hair, threading fingers through my dark strands. "...and I'm proud that I can call you my brother. And I know that mom and dad are proud to call you their son."
I held tighter, afraid that he would leave. No, no, Kitari, don't say things like that... they confuse me... I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be thinking... saying... feeling, right now... Am I wrong? Right? Am I crazy? Am I making this entire thing up in my mind? Do I really have a brother? Is... Fue real?
I opened my eyes, then, suddenly, afraid that if I kept them closed, everything would disappear. Everything would leave. I'd have lied to myself.
But he was still there, leaning against a tree trunk with his eyes closed and me in his lap. My older brother. He was real, so far.
Why didn't I come sooner? I wondered to myself, about my lack of action. I tried to pin down the reason I had taken so long to find my way to his side...
Was I dead?
"What are you thinking, Kito?" He murmured, and, looking up, I found him to be looking at me, a slightly amused look on his face.
"Huh?"
He smiled, "You have a look on your face that tells me some brain activity is going on."
I blushed and ducked my head. "Am I that easy to read?"
"Maybe." He poked me in the side. "Or maybe it's just because I'm your brother."
I sighed and pulled myself out of his embrace, setting my back against the tree. "I was just thinking... why did it take so long for me to try and visit you?"
He shrugged and smiled fondly, a little sadly, at me. "Never occurred to you. I bet it never occurred to you that there were ghosts at all."
"Actually..." I hung my head and closed my eyes. "I've at least known there could be such things as ghosts since freshmen year in high school."
"Knowing there could be such things, and knowing there are such things are two very different things. And... I asked you to forget about me when I died." His last words were so quiet. So quiet, and... he didn't want to admit to them. Didn't want to tell me. I looked over at him, and saw him staring at his hands, which were clasping each other in his lap. Fue had taught me that ghosts were exactly like humans – anxiety came to them as often as it came to the living, as did guilt.
"You asked me to forget?" My voice was quiet, and I winced at the slight accusatory tone that colored it.
"I had to. I couldn't allow my little brother to remember every detail of his brother's death. I couldn't allow you to remember the pain you felt through me, like you were dying with me. I had to protect you. I asked you to forget."
"I..." He blinked and turned his head toward me, standing up.
"I think it's time you go back. I'd like to talk to you again." He pulled me to my feet, but my mind was just confusion. What was happening? Leaving? Go where? What was with the sudden change? He faced me and pulled me into a hug, whispering into my ear, "Kito, I love you."
I woke up under a canopy of winking stars. What happened? One moment, I was with my brother... the next... Was I going crazy? Was I already there? I groaned and sat up, clutching my head. What's going on?
"Kito! Are you alright!?" Fue was kneeling besides me, eyes wide and scared. I peered at him fuzzily, trying to place him in the scenery. Everything seemed blurred at the edge, like when you just wake up, but you're still tired and dreaming, but you can't remember what you were dreaming about... "Kito?!" He seemed to be getting frantic. "Kito, answer me!"
I blinked, relaxing my knitted brows a little. "...hi."
I found out that I hadn't been dreaming either times when I woke up. I had spoken to my brother. And when Fue had become panicked, all I said was 'hi'. It was enough for him, and he swept me into a gentle, yet firm hug. He practically exuded relief. I was happy for him, at least.
When I woke up, truly, and after Fue had let go, I realized that I was incredibly tired; too tired to ask Fue what had happened, or, at least, to tired to ask, listen, and remember. So, instead, while he helped me get to bed, I told him to tell me in the morning.
It was a good thing he did, because when morning came around, I forgot to ask.
"I tried... to stop you, but I only managed to make you fall." Fue admitted to me as we sat on the back porch steps. I had eaten breakfast, but was still in my pajamas. He fisted his hands and buried them in his hair, grounding out his next words. "I don't know what happened to you after that. The sun had set, and it looked like you had been swallowed by the dark. But then, moments later, I found you a few feet from the trees, exactly where you woke up."
"..." We were quiet, deep in our own thoughts, trying to sort things out. "... but I spoke to him for more than a few moments." I spoke to myself; I spoke to Fue; I spoke to anyone who could hear, and would listen.
"You might have been in a separate dimension. Or some alternate reality."
This is getting too complicated! I let my head fall against my arms, which lay atop my knees. I could barely handle ghosts... Now I have to figure out alternate realities? This would be a little easier with Hirami here...
"But she's gone for a week." I groaned to myself, lifting my head, and letting it fall again.
"Who's gone for a week?" Fue asked, voice colored with curiosity.
"Hirami; she might be able to help... but she left to visit some of her relatives for the week." And she told me, before she left, not to get into any more trouble while she was gone. Look what I did.
"Oh." He didn't have much else to say on the subject, except, "I'm sure we'll do fine..."
"Hope so."
"Kito, who are you talking to?" I blinked and tensed as my mothers voice drifted through the screen door and into my ears. Fue looked a bit like 'deer-caught-in-head-lights.'
As quick as I could, I came up with some response... "An imaginary friend." ...as awful as it was.
There was a pause, before she answered. "Okay..."
I suppose there was one good thing about having parents anxious that their every move could be a trigger for a downward spiral in my temperament. In simple terms, they were afraid that anything they did could make me go crazy.
So, instead of doing anything that might upset me, they... let me be as weird as necessary. Even if it meant having imaginary friends at seventeen.
Fue quirked an eyebrow at me and I smiled inwardly.
I was nervous the second time I went to him. Four days had gone by, and after discussing the entire matter through and through with Fue, we agreed that we weren't getting any closer to answers just sitting around and contemplating things. However, we didn't agree on whether or not I should try calling him again.
"Absolutely not."
You can just guess who didn't want me to go.
I folded my arms across my chest and looked at him. We stood in a clearing not far from the boundary of the forest that bled into my backyard; it was warm and I had on black jeans an a blue tee, on account that the shadows the trees provided kept me cool. Fue imitated my stance and held my stare evenly. Neither of us was giving any ground.
"No."
I didn't bat an eye.
"No way."
...
" Why, Kito?" He finally broke our locked gaze, pacing in front of me. "We don't know anything about how it happened! It could have been that the stars were lined up correctly, or certainly people were in the right place at the right time, or... or... well, anything could have been the reason-"
"Fue, we'll never find out if we don't try again!" I was being uncommonly aggressive in the matter, I knew, but... it was my brother, here!
"But you could die." He stood head to head with me now, our noses inches apart.
"I know. But.. I could also talk to him again... and personally, I think it's worth all the risk in the world."
He slumped his shoulders and closed his eyes, which had flickered sadly. "I know... how much this means to you Kito... but... I can't let you die... I care about you too much... I love you..."
His cool hand touched my cheek and I closed my eyes. A slow, sad feeling washed over me, empathy for what he was feeling. A fear of loss. Loss of love. Loss of me.
"Fue... I..." I tilted my face into his touch, tilted my body into his, and let my mind go free as words tumbled out. "I'd never leave you if I knew, absolutely knew that I was going to die. I love you, too; I'd hate to lose you; I'd hate to make you sad or to inflict pain upon you. I know how you feel. I'm not immune. I know. But..."
"But he's your brother. I understand." I opened my eyes and found him smiling gently at me, found him leaning in and kissing me in his gentle, caring way. A way I loved. A way that was his and only his.
He drew away. "Just be careful. I love you."
The sun was on the verge of setting once more as I, with a stable mind, stood just outside the shadow of the cherry trees. Fue stood behind me, and I could feel his anxiety mingle with my own, intangibly between us. I wasn't blind to what I was risking.
I tried to force the knot in my stomach to untangle, but only accomplished getting it to stop tightening into itself for the moment. I took a deep breath and stammered, "K-Kitari...?"
The sun set and I fell.
"You came again!" Someone said as I woke up. I found myself again in my brother's lap, blinking to get things into focus. I tried to keep myself from noticing odd things about where I was and what was happening.
"Yeah... I wanted to talk to you again." He hugged me and smiled as I hugged him back, smiled against my neck. I could feel it.
"I'm glad." He drew away and looked passed my shoulder, avoiding my eyes. "I'm glad you didn't think you were dreaming about me."
"I... I thought I was... but it was too real. And I did go somewhere... when I fell... I just... Only a minute or two passed outside... but I know that we were here for longer." I tried to explain my confusion to him as I sat by his side. "Kitari, can I ask you what this place is?"
"Yeah, okay; I can answer that." He smiled at me and clasped my hand, running his thumb over the skin on top. "It's... it's like a realm that's between the creatures world, and your world."
"... different worlds?"
"Well, yes." He frowned, searching for words. "Ah... the creature... lives... actually, it sleeps... in a much bigger place than the cherry trees provide – the trees are merely... ah... they're just a medium? No, a portal. They're a portal to... or between... no, to... to its world. This is actually the portal. The inside of the trees. You have to pass through here to get to either place. This... is where I stay."
"It... must be lonely... huh?" I asked, studying his profile; his eyes were sad for a moment, then he furrowed his brow.
"Yeah... it is... but I manage." He brightened, and tugged my hand, standing up. I joined him, and for the first time noticed that he was taller than me... by a good four inches. That would make him 5'7". "I want to show you something."
He led me to a round pond I hadn't seen before, and knelt besides it on the grass, motioning for me to do the same. I looked over at him and he leaned over to gaze into the still water. "Come look."
I followed his example and examined the pond. It was strange – it seemed to be perfectly blue on the surface, but once I stared hard and long enough, I could see opalescent colors underneath the surface. Pink, purple, white... many colors swirled beneath the blue exterior. "What is it?"
"It doesn't show you anything, but it gives the dead a window into the world of the living. I've only been able to look at whatever's in direct sight of the cherry trees. I don't know if I can broaden that range... I haven't figured it out yet." He looked up at me, and grinned. "This is how I watch you."
I blinked at him. "Really?"
His smile became wider as he nodded. "I loved watching you when you were seven. You would be outside constantly – quiet and never really doing much. But I do remember when you found a kitten at the edge of the trees."
I thought back, to when I was seven, when I found that cat... the memory came to me and I smiled a little. "I remember that."
"It was so scared of you. But somehow you got it to come out and take the food you were trying to give it. It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen."
I blushed and smiled half heartedly. "It looked like it needed something to eat."
"Do you remember when it snowed when you were five?"
I nodded.
"You somehow got out of the house. You were playing in the snow, jumping and hopping around when you accidentally fell into a drift. You came up, sputtering and wide eyed... but you were okay."
He glanced back down at the pool, a fond look coming into his eyes.
"Tell me what it looks like to you."
"... I..." I frowned and leaned in closer, fixing my eyes hard on the swirling, wavering colors. "Well... it looks blue on the surface..."
"What kind of blue?"
"The color of your eyes, actually. Vivid and stark – the kind of blue you could never mistake for any other color. The kind that just jumps out at you."
"What else...?" His voice was quiet, as if trying to be unobtrusive.
"Underneath the blue... there are colors. They're pale and shimmering – pink and white and purple. They're constantly moving. I don't know..."
"I think that's beautiful..." He whispered, close to my ear. I tilted my head, to look at him, and felt his lips, softly, on mine.
In an instant, I realized that I was no longer kneeling on the rim of the pond; I was breathing a little hard, leaning against my brother's chest with his arms holding me comfortably. My head began to hurt and I winced a little.
"You okay, Kito?" Kitari asked, turning me so he could look me in the eye. "I think you need to go back – too much time here can hurt you."
"I... but..." I couldn't seem to lodge a decent protest with the way my head was stinging. "I could have sworn... that I talked to you longer the first time, though... this didn't happen the first time."
He stood up, supporting me by bracing my forearms. Shaking his head, he answered, "Time passes erratically here. While nothing really changes, the way time flows can be slow sometimes, or fast others. It has no real plan. It can be quite dangerous for the living."
He kissed me on the forehead and that was it.
My head still hurt when I woke up on the other side. I could feel Fue's presence through the ache, and reached out, feeling contact and curling around it. I groaned, and couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. He whispered into my ear, as if knowing my head hurt.
"Do you need to go to sleep?"
I managed a minute nod, and felt myself being lifted from the ground slowly – at first, my body jerked and my stomach flip flopped at this sensation, but then I registered Fue's arms holding me, and his chest against me, and I forced myself to relax. I didn't bother opening my eyes, and soon found myself being nestled into my bed with the covers tucked around me, and Fue lay beside me, holding my hand.
And I slept, again.
I got a call from Hirami one day; at first, I thought she was calling long distance, until she asked if I wanted to meet her and Sara at a skating rink half an hour away. I saved myself from looking like a moron by agreeing, and not wondering out loud why, if she was at her cousins, was she asking to go to a skating rink with Sara and me. I figured out a week had gone by quick enough.
Ten minutes later, dressed in a pair of dark pants and a dark blue tee, I found my mother on the phone, and, informing her of my destination and how long I intended to be out, left the house – needless to say, if I had told her I wouldn't be back until two in the afternoon the next day, she wouldn't have minded one bit.
My farewell to Fue was a bit longer.
"And Niki isn't coming, right?" He asked as I stepped onto the porch. I smiled, and shook my head.
"To the extent of my knowledge, no."
"... then I'm happy that you're doing something with your friends..." He cast a smirk at me, continuing, "... even if they are two girls. One of which wants to rape you."
"But she won't. Hirami would smother her in her sleep." I smiled, leaned over, and kissed him quickly before dashing across the lawn and onto the sidewalk. I heard him yelling after me as I moved away from my house, "Be careful!"
I smiled, feeling a warm sensation in my chest, and a calmness pervaded my mind.
Sometimes the feelings that emotions trigger are strange...
I managed to not fall on my butt the first half hour. It was my first time, along with Sara, and Hirami was having a little too much fun teaching us the basics – I picked it up easily, having a decent sense of balance, and began to have fun, liking the feeling that sliding over the ice gave me. It was something new – and, lucky for us, it was a Wednesday evening and there weren't too many other people to ruin the experience.
It was a mild day, and an outdoors rink – the amount of energy they had to put into keeping the ice frozen on a warm day like this wouldn't have surprised me. Skating gave me an easy sensation, like gliding, like I was smoothly traveling over something silky and pliant. Hirami was enjoying herself, alternating between laughing at Sara and skating with me, after she had taught us how to remain, for the most part, upright. I would never admit to it, but seeing Sara fall on her butt with a completely surprised expression was enjoyable after I stopped feeling bad.
Hirami didn't once fall down... of her own volition. After getting fed up with being laughed at, Sara managed to skate up to Hirami and pull her down, sending them both skidding across the ice in a heap... the entire event took place behind me – I only noticed when my legs were swept out from under me and I landed on two laughing females. The few people who were in the rink smiled at us.
"Kito, let's play a game." Hirami suggested as we disentangled ourselves from one another. Sara made a noise and flopped over again on accident, and I didn't bother getting up.
"What kind?" I asked, wincing as Sara leaned too much to one side and... down she went again.
"I don't know. Haven't thought it out yet." She made a thoughtful looking face, crouching near me as she tried to think.
"Maybe we should play tag." Sara suggested, giving up and laying on the ice. Her hair flared out around her, and, taking a double take, I noticed that her roots were actually blond. I inquired about her hair and blinked as she swore, sitting up and scowling. "I have to dye my hair again!"
"Dye your hair?" I was confused. "You're naturally... blond?"
She rolled her eyes and nodded. "Yeah – I'm from America. I moved here with my family when I was seven because of my father's job. I just dye my hair to fit in a little better. Sometimes I get into places where it's a bad idea to have blond hair."
Hirami snorted. "You mean you get into trouble."
Sara shrugged. "Same difference."
"Nearly."
My eyes had widened the instant she said she was from America. "You're from America... what's it like over there?"
She grinned happily and straightened her slouch, "I have no clue."
"That was anti-climatic." Hirami muttered.
She sighed and shrugged, tilting her head, "I don't remember much... I remembered going to school and talking constantly in class. We'd make finger paintings and play with blocks to make really big cities. I remember going to see movies, and going to stores. I really remember grocery stores. Don't know why. Just do."
"You were too young to understand how anything really worked, huh?" I asked her, sympathizing.
She shrugged. "Well, now I'm Japanese... if only because I live here." She smiled at me and cocked an eyebrow. "So, we've found out why I have blond roots. What about you, Kito, how do you get your blue eyes?"
"I'm not all Japanese."
"I like mutts..." Hirami said to herself, smiling secretly.
"I'm not sure who it was, but one of my ancestors was French, from my father's side. There was a strong genetic trait for blue eyes. Most of their descendants inherited them..." My voice grew soft as I added, almost as an after-thought, "...my brother's eyes are much brighter than mine."
Sara blinked as Hirami made a face.
"Whoa, you have a brother?" Sara asked incredulously. Hirami gave me a look in askance.
"I had. My brother died... a long time ago. But he had these incredible bright blue eyes."
My best friend looked as if she wanted to ask something, but refrained from doing so. We never told Niki or Sara about my brother... or Fue... or anything about the supernatural events that seemed to be crowding around my house and life.
I didn't plan on telling her now.
"Oh... I'm sorry..." Sara looked genuinely concerned, her mouth drawn into a frown.
"It's okay. I was only a year old." Using my palm flat against the ice, I levied myself up and Hirami and I each grabbed an arm, helping Sara get to her feet. Hirami cast a glance at me, smirking and ensuring her grip on Sara's arm...
"Let's see how fast we can go."
"What!?" Sara looked at Hirami; her mouth opened wide, then whipped her head to stare at me. I smiled and began to skate.
Sara could scream really loud, and very long.
We dropped Sara off at her house on our way home– I met her brother and parents, in a rather... interesting display. Her brother had been hiding in some bushed in the front lawn, obviously just waiting for his sister to come home...
We walked through the gate – they lived in a cozy looking house with a white picket fence surrounding it, and, believe me, the irony was not lost on me – and began walking up the walkway when he attacked. Sara received the brunt of the attack, silently surprised at first, then screaming murder the next. But, what turned the entire thing into an event not seen very often – in my opinion, anyway – was when Sara's parents came out of the house, wielding... water balloons. It was so bizarre to me that I stood with my mouth open, my eyes wide and my mind blank long enough to get nailed with enough water filled toys to get drenched. Not so for Sara – or even Hirami. The two girls dove to the side, Sara screaming her revenge, and Hirami yelling at me to get out of the way – it was almost like an action film, except bullets and explosives were replaced with... water.
I got hit several more times before Hirami grabbed me and pulled me out of the way – the next balloon sailed past me and exploded on the fence behind where I had been standing. My brain caught up to what was happening, and I recognized a voice not too far away as Sara... from the way it sounded, she seemed to have found the hose. I looked to Hirami, who looked at me, taking in all my drowned glory... and she smirked.
"Hey, sexy, you should get wet more often." She winked, then hugged me, missing my vibrant blush.
The noises ceased and after a few moments, we peeked our heads out of the bushes to see what was going on... was it some sort of trick? The walkway was empty, flooded with water...
"Hey, what do you think?" Hirami whispered into my ear as we surreptitiously glanced around, inching further onto the wet ground.
"I don't know..." My mind was still stuck on the entire idea of this kind of thing happening. "It... could be a trick..."
We ducked instinctively behind the bushes again when someone called, not too far from our position, "All right, all right, you win this time!"
I recognized the answer, though, as Sara's voice. "About time! I can't believe that you would actually attack me and my friends! Don't you remember what I told you...?" Her voice lowered, words a dull mumble and unintelligible.
Hirami grabbed my hand and dragged me out from under the bushes, moving us towards the side of the house. A little left of the front door, we found Sara standing in front of her family, all four of them drenched. She held the hose in one hand and shook her other fist at them, but ceased talking when we came into view.
"Rami! Kito! Are you two okay?" She asked, diverting her attention to us.
Hirami smirked. "We'll live – poor Kito here is a little traumatized, though."
Sara took it as her cue to scowl and spray her family a final time before rushing to my side. "Kito, I'm so sorry!"
I attempted a smile, though it was obvious Hirami was at least a little right. My head was malfunctioning or something as it tried to process the thought of a full scale water war sprung in three seconds. Maybe I was thinking about it too much. "It's... okay... really... just, uh, surprised me is all."
I froze as Sara flung her arms around me in a tight hug, apologizing again, and promising that it would never ever happen in the future. I must have made a funny face because her mother started laughing.
Letting go, Sara sent a glare at her mother, who lifted her eyebrow.
"Hirami, it's nice to see you again." The woman greeted my best friend familiarly, then turned her attention to me. "Kito, is it? I've heard a lot about you. My name's Sammy, and my husband is Chris."
She didn't extend her hand for a handshake, as I knew most all Americans do, and for which I was rather grateful. This entire thing was making me nervous, and if someone I didn't know touched me again... I really needed to get home.
"You guys are all soaked – let's go inside and dry you off." Hirami grabbed my wrist and tugged at me to follow her as Sammy led us inside the house, Sara and her father and brother behind us. I really just wanted to go home.
Once inside, Sara's mother sent her little brother on a mission to find a stash of towels, then deployed herself to the kitchen to make something warm to drink. I blinked and realized that we were all dripping on the rug, then looked around to find that Sara's family didn't really care. Her little brother caught my eyes, understanding my confusion exactly.
"Mom and dad say that it'll all dry eventually, anyway." He grinned at his father, who looked a little sheepish. Sara huffed and rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, but then the carpet smells."
"Not as bad as you." Her brother muttered under his breath, then sniggered.
...They were so... familiar with each other. Like a family.
I started home sometime that evening, feeling tired and a little sad. Almost... guilty. I couldn't ever see my family acting that way, but at the same time... I wondered if that's what it could have been like. Mom, dad, Kita, and me, all living together, completely functional... and, most of all... happy. They would be able to point us out in a crowd and claim that we were their sons. We'd be in school, have friends... not like this. In solitude my entire life, and only now able to get a few words out in public. As much as I wondered if it could have been... I knew it couldn't. Something inside me said to lay the thought aside, because it wasn't helping me in any way. I said goodbye to Hirami at her house, a quick, tight hug, then continued my way down the street.
The sun was about an hour or so away from setting, but I didn't live far. My hands in my pockets, I studied the ground my feet tread upon, in a silent, contemplative mode. Soon, though, the hairs on the back of my neck prickled, like a sense I didn't know I had was trying to tell me something. I paused, frowning, then looked up. Straightening my back, I peered around, but didn't see a thing. I shoved the feeling off as jitters, then kept going, but... it persisted. It wasn't like a pit in the stomach kind of sensation, more like a... 'knowing something's going to happen' feeling. I turned the corner, bumping into another person.
I gasped, and jumped back, surprised as my heart leapt into my throat.
"Kito?!"
I blinked quick, then looked up, finding myself face to face with Niki. Niki. Niki.
"Uh..." I stuttered, at a complete loss of what to say, feeling the blood leave my face for a moment, then rush back as I flushed, embarrassed all of a sudden. It seemed he was at a loss as well, eyes wide and face slack, a skateboard he had been holding under one arm clattering to the ground; he managed to keep the cardboard cup he held in his other hand aloft, though.
Coughing, he recovered quicker than I could, and bent to pick up his skateboard, coming back up to face me.
"Uh... hi." He said. Simple. Easy.
Why was it so hard for me to answer?
He gave me a mildly concerned look, asking, "Are you okay, Kito?"
"Uh... yeah..."
He gave me a bright smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes, saying, "Well, since I just bumped into you, do you wanna come and collect your stuff? It'll be quick, I promise; I live a few blocks down."
He sounded different from the last I remembered him. I couldn't place what it was... maybe it was just the fact that he wasn't trying to get any closer to me. Actually... he seemed a bit nervous, as well. Either way... this was a good opportunity to get my Discman back. I nodded, and he gestured to his right with the hand that held the cup.
"This way."
The way there was quiet, and I felt a tense... feeling, coming from Niki. He seemed almost like his heart was in his throat, and his hand was shaking, if only minutely. Why was he so nervous...? Shouldn't it be me who was scared? I couldn't connect to the idea that he had something to loose from this. I didn't understand... it confused me... I could almost feel myself pulling my consciousness into my epicenter, trying to work through this.
He was right, though – it only took about seven or so minutes for us to arrive at his house – I was almost worried that another water fight would greet us. My fears were laid to rest, though, when we walked through his front door and past the living room without incident. Niki lead me down a hallway, then ducked into a door on his right; I followed, strangely... feeling nothing. It was like it was a dream, sort of, because I wasn't affected by any strong emotions, or even any undertones. I felt a little sleepy, but I was probably just tired from everything that had happened that day.
He tossed his skateboard on his bed, set his cup – only then did I wonder what was in it – on his dresser, then knelt to dig around in his closet, announcing, "It's in here somewhere... in a box... I threw it – ah! Here it is!"
He emerged triumphantly, holding a plain white box with a dark blue top. He opened it and showed me its contents – it was big enough so that my sneakers were on the side, and my shirt and socks folded on the other, with my Discman and CDs resting atop. He shoved the box at me suddenly.
"Here, you can have the box, too, so it's easier to take home." I blinked, then took hold of it.
"...thanks..."
"Cool."
I watched him as he sat on his bed, knees drawn up and an arm wrapped around them. Lacking anything else to say... I turned to leave.
"K-Kito... wait... I..." I stopped, but I didn't turn around. I could feel his nervousness again, clear as day... I heard him sigh. "I'm really sorry. I don't understand why... I kissed you that day. I mean... yeah. I like you. I want to kiss you... but there's a line that... I just can't cross... but, somehow... I crossed it." He sighed again, almost like trying to find the right words to express what he was feeling. What was inside him, wanting to come out. I've had that feeling too many times.
"I know. I forgive you."
I finally put my finger on his feeling.
"I'm still your friend."
I finally got home. I caught sight of my house, and nearly sighed in relief. Today had been too long, too many things happening, one after the other. My life seemed to be overly complicated. With the box from Niki in hand, I walked through the front gate, up the porch steps, and pushed open the front door. I didn't know where my parents were at that moment, so I just went upstairs, dug out my Discman from the box, and popped the CD from inside into my stereo, turning it on low. I fell into my bed, laying on my side, closing my eyes and letting the music wash over me as my legs dangled off the edge. It had been too long since I last heard this band. Much too long. I felt my eyes drift close, and sleep grabbed hold of me quickly, folding itself over me to melt the tension in my muscles.
Living a hell...
I slowly opened my eyes, my body completely lax from sleep's touch.
Living a ghost...
I sighed, recognizing the song I had awoken to.
Living your end...
I smiled, drowsily. I loved all the songs, but... this one struck a cord inside me, somewhere. Maybe the lyrics were part of it. Maybe it was the... feeling he put into his voice... like... sadness. It just wasn't the kind of sadness that jumped out at someone as sadness. It was like... a helpless kind of sadness. A hidden sorrow.
Cool fingers trailed lightly over my cheek, raising goose bumps on my arm as I covered the hand with my own.
"Tired?" He asked, lying behind me. I sighed, and nodded, closing my eyes again, happy that he was there. A yawn took hold of me, stretching my jaw comfortably, making me feel completely relaxed as I spoke.
"I met Sara's family... after they... had a water fight." I spoke slowly, murmuring, remembering the event almost lucidly. "They were happy."
He didn't say anything, but removed his hand from under mine, and encircled my waist, pulling me against him. I lay willingly next to him.
"Fue?"
"Yes?" His voice was soft, caressing my neck even though he had no breath – it was like his word became energy and gliding through the air.
"Will... you always..." I felt I could see myself slipping deeper and deeper back into sleep, but my mouth kept moving. "Be with me... forever?"
I almost missed his answer, tumbling into the trappings of sleep.
"Yes."
Forever.
Something in my body, in my bones, was scared. I didn't know what was going on but I could feel, deep inside, something was about to happen... something bad. It was like the marrow in my bones was shivering, and my joints were weakening, just from a kind of knowledge that something bad was coming to my doorstep. There was a growing pit in my stomach, and a headache in the back of my head, almost like the unknown event was pressing into the back of my skull, trying to push through and gain entry. I felt distracted, almost like I was in a dream. I know that Fue noticed. He sent me worried looks as I stared at nothing, drifting listlessly in my thoughts. He knew something was wrong. My body knew something was going to go wrong... And I just felt like everything was out of place.
I visited my brother, one day, and told him about how I was feeling. His first question was if I was getting enough sleep, but I knew I was.
"That's... not the problem... I just know that that's not the problem."
He was sitting next to me as we rested our backs against the same tree, our eyes watching the same unchanging sky. It was at once beautiful, and terrifying. To live in a place that never changed, a place in which nothing died, and nothing was born... it had a frightening appeal, but I shied away from the concept all the same. I admired my brother's spirit, to be able to stand up against the phantasmagoric world he lived in, to still be sane in such a place.
He didn't say anything after that, though I could feel his frown in the air between us. It was like the wheels in his head were turning, thinking of a way to understand.
"It's okay... though... I'm just a bit nervous, I guess." I looked over, and he smiled quickly at me... something in that smile...
"Yeah. Nerves. It's not like you're going to die or anything." He adopted an impish look, peering into my face. "So. How did you get your shoes back, huh?"
"Uh... what... my... my shoes...?" I drew a blank as my mouth floundered for a moment, glancing down at my feet.
"Yeah. You got your shoes back. How?"
Then I remembered Niki. "Oh... that... uh... I ran into... a friend of mine, who had them."
He gave me a questioning look, a little petulant. "How did your... 'friend' get them?"
I didn't miss the emphatic emphasis he put on the word 'friend.' "Uh..." Before I could catch up to the situation, the entire story spilled out, from when I had met Niki in the Ice Cream Parlor, to when I bumped into Niki on the corner that night. I kept talking, even as I saw Kita's face darken, and his bright eyes almost blaze in anger.
"...and I found my sneakers in the box, with my shirt, socks, CDs, and Discman." I finished, unable to look at Kita. That pit in my stomach intensified suddenly, and I wondered what the hell had compelled me to tell Kita everything...? Long arms wrapped around me, and I felt myself being pulled against his chest, blinking as the stomach settled.
"I wish I could have helped you, Kito." He murmured against my hair, running the palm of one of his hands down my back.
"It... It's okay... Niki's a nice person, really. He just got a little carried away. We're still friends..."
He didn't say anything, but I could almost hear him thinking, again, and that pit in my stomach became a heavier thing, my bones weakening inexplicably. Then he stood up, taking me with him.
"You should go. See you, little brother." He winked, then kissed me on my forehead, and I fell.
I don't remember when, but Sara called me up, though I don't remember ever giving her my phone number – I expected she just got it from Hirami. I can't even seem to remember her exact words in the conversation – but I know that she did suggest that we – Hirami, Sara, Niki, and myself – all get together. Somehow, it seemed like she got me to offer having everyone spend the night at my house, but I would have to call her again and ask her if her mother said it was okay. I don't even remember when we hung up, or just what I did afterwards. The entire thing seemed ethereal, almost like it never happened, but a part in me, the part I trusted the most to know what was real and what wasn't, said it had happened... it just didn't understand it, either.
Somehow, I worked up the nerve to ask my parents, though it was slightly easier than I had thought it would be. I don't even know why they said it was okay for Sara to come over... they didn't even know her. They knew Hirami, and Niki was a guy... It confused me a little, but I wasn't sure what exactly to expect from it, either. I do remember calling up Hirami and Niki, though, and I remember Hirami's excitement... and concern... and Niki's surprise.
"Are... you sure, Kito?" He asked me, the phone thinning his voice to a false, simulated imitation of what it really was.
I wasn't sure. "Yeah." I was confused. But it didn't stop me from calling Sara back up, after telling Niki the time to come over.
I waited as the phone rang a few times, half distracted by the feeling that lay like a shadow against me, hunting my every step. Someone picked up on the third ring; it sounded like her brother.
"Hello?"
"Hello, this is Kitosa Mi, is Sara there?"
"Yeah, hold on," the receiver was muffled, but I still heard him yelling on the other side of the line. "SARA! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS ON THE PHONE!"
I unconsciously made a face, but didn't say anything – nor did I have time.
"SHUT UP! I HATE YOU!"
I could hear the phone exchanging hands, and Sara swearing at her brother, then pressed the phone to her mouth. "Hello?"
"Hi, Sara, it's Kito."
She gave me a pause before answering. "Hi, Kito, how are you?"
"Fine, can you spend the night tonight?"
"Um... h-hold on." She set down the phone on a table with a clink and, I suppose, went looking for her parents. I found this mildly curious. She hadn't asked them yet? A few moments later, she came back with an answer.
"Yeah, what time?"
I've only had Hirami spend the night. I could deal with Hirami, no matter how animated she got, but three people at the same time? I wondered why I had agreed to it in the first place. I didn't exactly know what to do the entire time, until Hirami came over – the first to arrive – and I confided in her.
She gave me a bright smile and told me to leave it all up to her, but I wasn't sure whether to be relieved, or whether to be nervous. Sometimes she comes up with strange ideas. There were a few hours left before Sara or Niki would come over, so Hirami dragged me to the video store half an hour away on foot. I didn't mind it, but I was a little nervous. What exactly would Niki and Sara want to watch? Hirami told me not to worry, though, and she had a pretty good idea what they liked.
Comedy.
I thought about what I knew of them, which was little enough, and just agreed with her assessment. It seemed like the best thing to do at the time. I watched as she examined a few different movies, but I think she already had in mind what we were going to rent; we walked away with about five or six different movies, I didn't count, and then we went into the convenient store a few doors down to find some junk food. Pocky and Yen Yen was at the top of Hirami's list, but I'd never tried it. I wasn't big on junk food, anyway. She got some Ramena, and then some American Pepsi as well, and we were back with half an hour to spare.
My mother and father were in the kitchen when we got back, I think, making a collaborative effort on dinner. Or maybe they were just in there, pretending to make dinner. I wasn't sure, either way.
Hirami dumped the movies and snacks in the front room, careful with the Ramena, while I went to see what my parents were doing, mildly curious.
My mom was at the center of the kitchen, examining a tray of round... things. They looked like the chocolate chip cookies McDonalds sell. Well, only slightly. From what I remember, the one time that I went there with my mom and a friend of hers when I was a kid, the cookies were bigger and more... even. But, things always seem a little too perfect, a little too magical, when one's a kid. She looked up at me when I cleared my throat quietly, and smiled, motioning me to come over. While she was still more of a stranger then a mother, I complied, and joined her, looking down at the cookie wannabes.
A few moments of silence followed, until I broke it. "What.. are they?"
"Cookies."
"...mmm..." I wondered what had gotten into her that made her want to make cookies.
"They are!" She protested my unspoken doubt, giving me a wounded look. Hirami came into the kitchen at that point, greeting my dad, whom I just realized was drying the rack of dishes to the side. She stood opposite me, peering at the so called cookies.
"What are they?"
My mother huffed and pouted. Hirami made a 'ah! I'm sorry!' face and held up her hands, trying to apologize.
"I'm sorry! I've just never seen these kinds of things before..."
I sighed. "They're cookies."
"Huh?" Hirami looked at me, then looked down at the 'cookies.' "Like the ones that American fast food restaurant sells?"
Hirami wasn't big on American food, except for Pepsi, so she only had a vague idea what they were supposed to look like.
"Yeah, like that," I said, then looked at my mother, suddenly feeling like she wanted to say something. We were all quiet for a moment, Hirami taking her cue from me until my mother looked up, eyes shining with the beginnings of tears.
"Kita loved cookies."
I looked away.
Niki arrived last, almost thirty seconds after Sara walked through the door, and so he was the last to sample my mother's cookies. They didn't taste bad, just a little strange, and Sara loved them to death so much that she nearly ate them all, courtesy the only thing slowing her down. Some things can't be helped, I guess. She must have remembered them when she was in America... or her mother was bad at cooking them. Either or.
The cookies were gone quick, Niki making off-hand comments about how he could literally see the numbers above her head increasing. Sara threw a cookie at him, which he picked up from the counter and nibbled. I ate a few, and Hirami decided it couldn't kill her. She was soon in league with Sara, plotting to dominate the cookie world.
I almost didn't notice my mother and father leave the kitchen, casting eyes at us. I caught their gaze, but couldn't get myself to genuinely smile back. I just had a strange feeling at the time.
I guess Sara shouldn't have eaten all those cookies... she plopped onto one of the couches with a moan and curled into a ball, holding her stomach as we moved from the kitchen into the living room, where the movies and junk food was stored... not that she needed any more. Niki poked her a few times then claimed her dead and divvied up her possessions and body parts. She kicked him and he went down. Hirami threatened to remove their fingers and sell them to a pet shop owner if they didn't stop harassing each other. Niki claimed they were expressing their affection towards one another, then jumped on Sara and tried to molest her.
I tuned them out when Sara informed Niki she was going to hurl, and I knelt by the bag of movies, sorting through them slowly, not really interesting. I felt a chill wash over my skin and smiled.
Hi.
"Hi."
So...
"So."
Stop that!
"Stop that!"
I chuckled silently, smiling to myself. Fue wrapped his arms around me, and I could feel his lips curve into a smile against my neck. Even when he was mocking me, I loved him. Even when he mocked me in a high voice. Grrrr...
I started as his husky return mock growl filled my ears, then smiled again. You know-
"Hey, Kito, Rami said you guys got some movies." Sara called, making me blink, surprised.
"Uh..." I looked at the case in my hands, then raised my eyebrows. "Yeah..."
We watched a few of the movies, Sara and Niki re-performing the scenes just moments after they had finished, and Hirami occasionally muting it to dub over the voice with cheesy one-liners. A rather amusing scene was when Hirami made it sound like a man thought he had lost his dog and that the woman he was confronting had kidnapped it. I think the real story line was that the woman was really a man. But I wasn't sure. I think I watched more of Sara and Niki than I did the movies.
Fue eyed the three teenagers, amused, and, I think, a little put-off. I could almost feel his thoughts permeating the air. "Are these kids considered normal at all or is Kito lying?" He didn't say a thing, though, and Hirami didn't happen to see him at all during the festivities.
At about eleven, though, after we had gone through the snacks and pop, and an interesting burping contest between Niki and Sara, we settled down and changed into our pj's. My mother, almost sensing this, came down with a load of blankets. I saw her and went upstairs to get some pillows and a few more blankets. I came downstairs, but before I could reach the landing, I tripped over something solid and just sort of fell down. It was strange; my stomach feeling like it had exited through my back, leaving behind an empty, tingling feeling where it used to be. When I landed, I was relieved to find that the pillows and blankets had broken my fall, and all it did was knock my breath away for a moment. I heard two people laughing, and I found Sara and Hirami as the culprits, my mother peeking her head around the doorway with a surprised look on her face. I blinked, then fell onto my back, something pushing me over. Someone coughed and wheezed, then groaned. I leaned over and found Niki on the floor, under all the blankets.
"What are you doing?" I asked. Rather dumb, but I was still curious. Did I land on him, or something?
He caught his breath, then answered, "Uh... technical difficulties."
"What..."
Before I could finish the rest of my question, though, Hirami interrupted me to explain. "Sara and I tied his shoes together."
"This is why I don't like girls."
Sara snorted. "I'm wounded."
Blankets spread haphazardly around the room, pillows strewn about, and my living room looked more like a war zone. That was because Sara and Niki had a pillow fight – a little difficult since Niki had forgotten to fix his shoes. Hirami got her kicks by placing simple obstacles before them, watching Sara clear them easily, and Niki fall on his face, until he finally took off his shoes and went after both of them. The entire time, I was left unmolested, except when Hirami threw a pillow at me. I, of course, was required to retaliate viciously, and the battle ended in a pile at the center of the room, all of us breathing heavily and swearing off pillows. It didn't help that Sara rolled over and snuggled up to one of the evil white fluffy things. A pillow, like a gun, could be a deadly weapon in the wrong hands.
"Ooh, I'm tired..." Hirami yawned, slinging an arm over her eyes. Niki poked her side once, then closed his eyes, sighing. I rolled onto my stomach and let my muscles go lax.
"You guys are finally done beating the stuffing out of each other?" Fue asked from somewhere in the room.
I didn't move as I replied, I think we're coming down from that sugar high.
"I'll bet."
Hey Fue? I asked, feeling myself drift off.
"Yeah?" I felt him settle beside me, and smiled contentedly to myself.
How old are you?
"...why do you ask?"
Just curious...
I was asleep before I knew it, but not before I heard his answer, faintly, in my head.
"Older than I can remember..."
I woke up sometime in the dark of night, a cold sweat covering my skin, eyes wide and muscles stretched tightly, scared of something. That feeling that had been following me quietly at a distance finally attacked full force, and I collapsed, feeling as if my bones had crumpled and it was all just useless jelly. I felt like curling into a ball and crying, for something I had no idea about. My skin tingled all over, like a mixture of terror and the feeling I got whenever Fue came around. Where was Fue?
I found myself outside, staring at those cherry trees. Wind pushed the hair out of my eyes before I could fully comprehend where I was. It wasn't a dream. I tried to remember how I got here... I woke up, shaking, I remember, and... I stood up, stumbling to get a drink from the kitchen, but... I paused at the back door, watching it. It felt like I was wearing someone else's skin, seeing through someone else's eyes, but I knew they were my own. I knew I was in my own body... it just... felt so weird. I could barely see, the only light to find my way around came through the windows, from the moon... but it was rapidly fading. I saw my hand reach for the doorknob, and as much as my head screamed to stop, the feeling of terror overcoming it, that hand wouldn't stop. It was like it was wrapped in a spell, cut off from my brain. I remember turning the knob just as the light from the sky went completely black. I stepped out onto the porch, stumbling down the stairs, staring up at the sky. Something was covering the sky, covering the stars and moon, keeping out the light. I could barely see a thing, but as soon as I stood in front of the trees... I knew. I couldn't see them... I just knew.
But, what I didn't know was what was going on. Why did I come out here? What was this feeling? Where... where was Fue?
"You did it, Kitosa." Someone whispered into my ear, cold breath ghosting over my neck and shivers running down my spine and skin.
"I-" I turned, but I still couldn't see a thing. "What?" I whispered. "What I did I do?"
"Freed me." A cold tongue licked across my jaw until I stumbled backwards with a jerk, eyes wide, but I couldn't see a thing!
"Freed you? How? Who are you?" My voice was rising, getting louder, and I began to shake. I couldn't see anything, and there was someone out here with me.
"You did a perfect job. They're perfect."
"Who-" But I knew who they were talking about. I just, somehow, knew. There was no one else.
Niki...
"No..."
Sara...
"N-No..."
Hirami...
"NO!" I cried out, searching in the darkness, vainly trying to find light to see by. "Why?"
"I need them, to feed off, I need them, to break free... to get my revenge."
"Revenge..."
"Not on you, Kitosa... No... never on you... because..." Something glowed in front of me, bright and white, first just a blur, then taking shape – I narrowed my eyes, getting used to the light. It was like looking into the sun, it was so bright. Then it dimmed, and I saw Kitari, smiling sweetly at me, a corner of his mouth hooked upwards and head cocked to the side. "Because I love you."
"Kitari...?" I took a step forward, then jolted as my foot sank a little. I looked down, but, even with the light Kita was emitting, I could only barely make out what was on the ground. It was some kind of black substance... alive-looking, winding around on the ground. Like black metal, alive, almost breathing, almost real... but... I snapped my gaze back up as the black substance jerked strangely, and saw Kita being devoured by it.
"KITA!" I screamed, taking another step forward, heedless of the black stuff beneath my feet. He was being lifted higher than I could reach. NO! No, this couldn't be happening. I could feel myself sink even as I stretched further, trying to reach him, trying so hard... I watched as it rapidly covered his face, our gazes locked. I could feel it swell up over my shoulders as I began crying, my arm still high, hoping to grab him. But I couldn't reach.
At the same time, we were completely consumed.
I didn't die. I don't know why, but, though I couldn't breathe or move, I was still conscious. I couldn't see a thing, and I couldn't hear anything but a steady rushing roar in my ears. Kita...
Kita...
... Kita...
... Kita...
I felt arms around me and I gasped as I emerged from the black and into the air, into the night. I felt my heart pound violently as I sucked oxygen into my lungs, clinging to someone. I slowly opened my eyes, whispering, "Fue?"
But I immediately knew this wasn't Fue, even before they answered. Their arms were warm.
"I'm not Fue..."
I focused on them, blinking a few times before I realized who it was.
My brother. "K-Kita!"
He smiled at me, something cocky. I felt tears in my eyes again as I hugged him. He sighed, and returned my hug. "I thought you were gone again."
"I was... but... he has a better idea..."
"Better...? What are you talking about? What's happening?" I was confused. I didn't know who 'he' was.
"I told you – he got a better idea. As to what's happening..." Kita looked up and smiled. "His revenge."
[ chapter end ]
In a way, this chapter was both light hearted and dark... I always liked contrast. Truthfully, I think I work too hard on the tone and not enough on personalities, dialogue, or plot, even. Apologies to Ree; I wanted to update sooner, but I was being a lazy jerk. Hell, I wanted to update a week ago.
As for when the next chapter with be out… well, it's actually the end, and it might take a while. I wrote three different endings, and I wasn't quite happy with any of them. So I'll probably be attempting to fix them over the next few weeks.
Shout outs go to subtleline, OnyxRainbow, Esquirella, and someone named… "Eeyaatoe"? Wtf. Whatever. And remember, when you review when you're logged in, I check you what's in your profile. O_o