5Hi.
My name is -
"Herbie!"
Yeah, that's it.
And the chick that just yelled my name is my best friend, Lahla O'Leary.
"Yeah, Lahla, what is it?"
"I have been looking all over the school for you. You don't want to be late the first day, do you?"
"Why not?"
Lahla gave me a look.
"Okay. It was Tobyn Davidson, okay? She held me up. Like literally. Like by the shirt collar."
"What did you do to her?"
"This one kid called her 'giant' and I laughed."
This earned another look from Lahla.
"Hey, it was funny, okay? I couldn't help it. But Tobyn didn't believe me. She picks me up by the shirt and slams me against the wall. I tried to apologize but it's awful difficult to talk when you're in that kind of situation. Anyway, the other guy goes, 'Step off, giant.' So Tobyn throws me into him and we go sprawling. Now that's just not fair. Tobyn's got a big thing about justice, and let me tell you, that was not justice."
"Who was that kid?"
"He looked like he was in our grade, but I've never seen him before."
"Herbie, uh ... we kind of passed the classroom."
"Wha?" I whirled around and raced to Mrs. Finnigan's room.
I slid into my desk just as the bell rang. Lahla had grabbed the only desk near the door, leaving me to take one in the back of the room.
I knew my teacher by sight alone. I had seen her around the school in previous years, but had no idea what she was like.
She started the day off by taking roll.
"Brooke Anders?"
"Here."
"Corbyn Blue?"
"Here."
"Tucker Brown?"
"Here," a familiar voice called out. My head whirled around. It was the dude that had gotten me into my earlier predicament! Now I knew his name, and now I could plan my revenge.
He happened to be sitting right behind me. Yeah, I know I said I was in the back of the room. I meant that I was farthest from the door.
"Skyler Bumper?"
"Here."
"Laura Cooler?"
"Here."
"Skipper Cooper?"
"What kind of a name is that?" Tucker whispered to no one in particular.
I looked to see if Skip had overheard. Apparently not. "It's a comical name. I have one too. Now shut up before you get me into deeper doo-doo."
"Oh, you said a naughty word ... "
"Doo-doo?"
"No, shut up. Oh, I said a naughty word ... "
Great. It wasn't enough that he was a pain in the butt, and that he got me into trouble with Tobyn. No, he had to be sarcastic.
Mrs. Finnigan was eyeing us.
I said nothing, but jerked my thumb behind me and looked at her pleadingly.
"Tucker, please stop bothering other people."
I decided I liked this Mrs. Finnigan.
"Alexandra Graley?"
"Alex. And I'm here."
"Mary-Claire Hansen?"
"Here."
Another newbie. This chick had way-too-long blond hair and glasses. I thought she looked like a nerd, but when I looked back I noticed Tucker eyeing her.
"Phillip James?"
"Here."
"William James?"
"Here."
"Christyn Johnson?"
"Here."
"Caitlin Kuhls?"
"Here."
"Candace Mackey?"
"Here."
"Carys Mackey?"
"Here."
Wow, we had two sets of identical twins in our class. One pair even had names that began with the same letter. I pitied the unfortunate substitute who'd have to take over if Finnigan was ever gone. I mean, Confusion City.
"Tyler Morgan?"
"Here."
"Lahla O'Leary?"
"Here."
"Herbert Whipple?"
"Hot dog." As I had hoped, this effected several giggles. "And the name's Herbie," I added. I heard Tucker snort.
"Herbie, would you like to take the attendance sheet down?"
Wow. I was becoming the teacher's pet already. I wondered what I'd done to earn that.
"Yeah, sure."
"Hey, how come he gets to go?" Tucker whined.
"Tucker, you are talking out of turn."
"It's the first day and she's already picking on me," Tucker grouched, slumping back.
"He just wants pity cause he's new. And immature," I muttered to no one. I saw the long-haired girl glaring at me.
I took the stupid sheet down, ran back to class, plopped down on my -
"Whoa!"
- floor?
"What the heck?"
I looked up and saw Tucker looking down at me and laughing.
"You pulled my chair out!" I accused.
"Sorry, man. It was too tempting."
"Well, you know what's too tempting right now?" I pulled my fist back to pop him one, then remembered belatedly that Mrs. Finnigan was watching. My hand dropped.
Mrs. Finnigan glared. "Tucker."
"What?" He tried to look innocent.
"That is not the way to make friends."
"It's not?"
She bit her lip in a way I'd seen too many times before. It's what teachers always do when I'm being funny. They're trying very hard not to laugh.
I resented this moron even more. I was the class clown, everyone knew that, and he was stealing my role.
On the other hand, Tobyn Davidson - the brown-haired, huge-boned chick who liked to stomp and yell - was extremely ticked at him. If I could only talk to her without her beating me up, we could join forces against Tucker Brown.
Yeah, nice thought. More likely Tobyn would kill me on sight.