'Ello 'ello all! Once again, welcome to the deepest and most disturbing recesses of my mind!
And, once again, a few quotes from me and my friends…and family.
(sidenote) I tried to edit this on the sites QuickEdit FOUR FUCKING TIMES so you could tell the difference between quotes and it did not work. So, every time you see a random place, like...'home' or 'honor choir practice' thats a new one. mmkay, onwards we go!
HomeMe:hmmm…I wonder if nail clippers smell bad…
Sara:what?!
Me: Well, cause…there by toes a lot and feet smell and, aw fuck just forget it.
Sara: 0.o
Wondering to herselfMe: I wonder what a six-pack feels like…
Social StudiesMr. Lang: Today we'll be taking notes…
Me: I wish I had a flamethrower…
Online ConvoMe: I got an easel for Christmas, and I'm pretty good at painting…
Carter: I used to be good at drawing, but then I drew a duck and I couldn't draw anymore.
Me:?!
Outside during a fire drillMe: Where's Mary? -Looks around- Oh, there she is. I lost you.
Mary: Just imagine if I got lost between class and the door. I'm all over there…'Where'd everybody go?'
Me: sadly enough, you'd probably do that too.
Mary: Yeah, I'm all in the snow…'I CAN'T SWIM!'
Me: -hilarious laughter-
LunchMary: -flings ranch at Marianna-
Marianna: eeeeew…DANGIT! Now my eyes gonna smell like ranch!
Me: -Snorts milk up nose-
LunchMary: I looked at you and you were like 'skaschhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' and I just ran.
Me: -dies-
ScienceMarianna: I like the pretty eyes…
Everyone: -stops, looks at her-
Marianna: WHAT?!
Social StudiesMe:-Pokes self in shoulder, then glances around-
RAPE!
ScienceMary: No! I am not happy! And I won't be happy until you put Meghan back in our group! I PROTEST!
Mrs. Gussman: Shut up.
LunchMary: You know that song, where their all like 'you and me baby aint nothing but mammals…'blah blah?
Me: Yeah…
Mary: Well don't they like rape inanimate objects?
Me:…maybe?
Mary: -starts humping a pole-
Lunch LineMe: You buy human slaves from eBay!
Robert: Do they sell human slaves on eBay?
Me: yeeeeeeeaaaaa-No. But if they did, you'd be a top bidder.
Robert: How do you know? Did you check?
Me:…maybe
5th Period
Mrs. Levasseur: Does anyone know what a documentary is?
Me: yeah, it's where they corner you with a camera and ask you questions like, 'Have you ever peed in the shower?'
Everyone:0.o
Me: What?! It's the first thing that came to mind!
Lunch LineMe: Why don't you ever buy your own lunch?
Marianna: My mom grounded me and she won't give me lunch money, she's like, 'blah…'
Keenan: So you're grounded from FOOD? What the hell?
Walking HomeAmanda: Once, we were in the store, and my moms like, 'I want to have lots of grandkids…start now.' And I was just like….
Me: She actually said that? What the hell is wrong with your family?
Walking HomeAmanda: My brothers a virgin.
Arianna: How would you know?!
Amanda: Cause he says it on the phone to his friend.
Me: And you listen?!
Walking HomeArianna: Amanda's brother is flamboyant.
Me: Could he be gay?
Arianna: No…well, actually, he's telling his friend he's a virgin…maybe that proves it!
Thinking to self
Me: Save the music…Shoot Britney!
Thinking to self
Me: -points to a picture of a chicken-
This is your brain on rap!
My RoomMe and Kristie: -listening to the music-
Me: OOOOOH! –points- STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPES!
5th Period
Me: -looks at ID- Damn, my nose is HUGE!
Everybody: -looks at me-
Me: oooooh…shame.
McDonaldsMe: -at McDonalds- Ooooooh…a creepy hall, -referring to construction on the bathrooms- I should just run up and down it shouting 'DUN DUN DUN!' and pounce on the first person who pulls out a cellphone.
In movie theater, waiting for movie to start-Lindsey's phone rings-Shoot, I should turn that off. Damn, it's Mike. Chris, you answer it.
Chris: takes phone Hi-
Me: -Bitch.
-laughter-
During the moviePeople: Random side chatter and then a loud 'ghetto shout'
Other People: SHUT UP! –shooshing noises-
Me: One wonders why they think 'shooshing' makes it quieter.
McDonalds…Me: Ooh, there's the evil manager. I came here once, and I asked for one of those really large fries, and she says, 'NO! There is only one size!' and then I tell her that I've had the really large size before, and then she's like "No! There is only one size! I'LL KILL YOU!' …well, okay, maybe not the 'I'll Kill You' part, but I am SURE she was thinking it.
McDonaldsMe: I think I'll taunt the evil manager…-Waves really large carton of fries at manager and then makes face- manager turns around. Oooh, let's leave.
Before schoolArianna; Well, I would rape Frank Iero. And I might feel guilty for a few seconds, but all of the guilt would just wash away when I saw him naked.
Everybody: 0o
Arianna: Oh. Whoops.
ChoirKristie: -has marker on skin- Mr. Di, can I get some paper towels?
Mr. Di: Yeah. –motions to white board spray- Don't use that, it burns your skin.
Me: …How would you know?!
McDonaldsMe: I should tell them I have a kid so they'll give me a toy.
McDonalds Parking LotLindsey: -runs into car door- Wow, the car kicked my ass.
Me: Maybe it's like, 'You're an idiot, you can't drive'.
Looking for parking spotLindsey: Hmmmm…I know, let's follow someone else to their car!
-We follow a kid and his mom until they start glancing back at us-
Me: Oh shit! He's gonna shoot us!
Walking into moviesLindsey: yeah, that guy all comes back. 'We'd have kept following you sir but we thought you were gonna shoot us'.
LunchMe: -eating carrots dipped in ranch-
Jeremy: That looks like semen.
Me: -Drops carrot- I hate you.
McDonaldsLexi: You just wait, when we get home, we'll eat out my house…Wait, that didn't sound right.
ChoirJ.D.: -walks out of Mr. Di's office-
Me: J.D., did Mr. Di ass rape you?!
In the carMe: -Talking to Lindsey, who is 17- Babe, I think I am a bad influence on you.
Msn Screen name'You Silly Hamster, That's Not Lettuce!'
Passing PeriodMarianna: Do you want me to whip it out, do you want me to whip it out right now!? -referring to a calculator-
Keenan: -walks up and gives her a weird face-
LunchMary: -eating vanilla pudding-
Meghan: Oh yeah, eating the white stuff, Mary.
Keenan: -walks up, hears last part, and then walks away-
Passing PeriodMe and Marianna: -making weird sounds-
Keenan: What are you guys doing?
Me: Making blowing noises
Keenan: -makes weird face and laughs-
ScienceMarianna: Come on baby, let's go! –referring to passing period-
Keenan: -walks up and gives odd face-
Marianna: Dangit! You always come at the wrong time!
Honor Choir PracticeMe: Yeah, I had a pop last night, and I ended up dancing like an idiot in my kitchen and singing to a skillet of chicken voila about how much I missed it.
Honor Choir Members: 0o
Me: yeah…it was weird.
Honor Choir PracticeMe: -to brant- I wish you came with a whip.
Brant: What?!
Honor Choir Practice
Mr. Di: -Explaining how they kept men sopranos in the old days…-cough castration cough-
'-And I know a conducter, that, when the boys aren't singing high enough…Will walk up to them and-'
Me: -Knee them in the groin?
Honor Choir Practice
Brittany: Oh yes, if they wanted them to sing higher, they'd just have to do this, -mimics a pair of scissors-
Guys: -wince-
AMC 24Old Woman: I really enjoyed looking at the little children, especially those two little boys, ah-
Mary, Icy and I: 0o
LunchMary: What if you choked on a condom while giving a blow job?
Me: what if Brant's girlfriend choked on a condom while giving him a BJ?
-ponders-
Mary: I would love to see what he says to the police after that.
Icy's KitchenMary, icy, Icy's mom, Icy's sister and I: -dying easter eggs-
Me: Hi, my name's Meghan…and I'm an alchoholic…
Icy's mom: 0o
Okay you creepy stalkers you!
REVIEW!