© Maria Traxler 2004

Remember Me

Who am I?

I'm not nobody, I'm somebody

I've made sure of that:

People know me, I'm no nobody.

But is this somebody somebody who matters?

If I let go, would the world fall to pieces?

I'm not that important, I know that for sure.

But couldn't I change the world just a little?

Can't I leave a small mark on this earth

So that those who come after

Will maybe remember me?

Who remembers the great stars,

Those whose lifetimes were filled with glory

and riches and fame and glitter and light?

Are they the ones that matter?

Why not me? little me, insignificant,

Somebody so small I may as well be a nobody,

Can't I make my name remembered?

Won't somebody visit my grave when I'm dead and gone?

I don't know about you, but that's my dream.

I want to be remembered,

Or to go back, back to a time

When I only saw, and did not think,

When I had so much time I didn't know what to do with it all

And I'd get myself remembered somehow.

But eftsith—there is no eftsith, Alboin, whatever you say.

We can't go back.

And this is what I want to be remembered as:

A word-maker, a language-creator,

Author, poet,

The Girl Who Speaks Elvish—that's me.

And later a lady who sprayed mustard and sugar

Around in a restaurant when she was eighty—that's who I'll be.

I want to be remembered, and in that way immortal:

These words are me, and I live on in them.

That's why I'm a writer.

I don't want to be an accountant, a banker,

Or have any other boring job

But a linguist, studier of the threads of languages;

An author, the word-weaver;

An editor, maybe, untangling the tapestry's snarls;

I want to be remembered in words, as me.

Remember me as the crazy one

Who didn't care about the Red Hat Society—

Who needs a group to have fun when you're old?

I'll be fine all by my lonesome, thanks—

In life. But later, when I don't speak with

My mouth—just my words, my writing—

Please remember me, read my writings,

Tell about me to the other ones

I can't bear to be forgotten.

Remember me, when I am gone.

Do this in memory of me.