The Need To Hold You

You have no idea how paralyzing it is to be so close to you. Yet the knowledge that I can never be any closer hurts so bad.

You seem so unknowing of the fact that my love for you blinds me. I guess it's a good thing that your oblivious to this. Cause if you knew how I felt would you still be so close?

I fall asleep with the image of you smile looming over my dreams. My dreams themselves are filled with you sweet voice. But not even a dream can compare to the real thing.

The tape I made of you talking, the pictures of you and me that I never want to throw away not matter how faded they've gotten. Nor the that we made together when we had gotten bored on day. No, none of this can compare to the real thing.

Don't you see how your laugh drives me up the wall? How every time I see you or hear you talking to someone, even if it's not me, I light up and become ever so happy. Haven't you ever noticed how every time it's just me and you I try to be like you, perfect, only to end up looking like the biggest dork that ever lived?

I don't see how you couldn't have. But maybe you haven't, maybe you've over looked it because we've known each other for so long that you think I'm just being normal.

Maybe you haven't noticed because there are so many people that are trying to be perfect like you that you can't see me. I'm just lost in the crowd.

It would be hard to loose you in the crowd. You have a glow about you that shines so brightly that I could muddle night for day. The light that surrounds you is one to rival the sun.

I've seen your heart broken many a time, and I've seen you break many a hearts. Maybe that's why I confess my feelings to you. Maybe I'm afraid you'll break my heart, or maybe I've lost my mind and I think I'd break your heart. The first one sounds more likely.

I've searched my brain to find the answer of why I'm in love. I haven't gotten a definite answer yet, but I have found hints of possible resolution.

-Maybe I love you because I've known you for so long, and were always that when I needed you.

-It could also be because of the way you treat other people, you act like you are just any normal person, mortal like us all. But no matter how stupid you act, or how much of nutcase you come off being, in the end your always on thing. Perfect.

-Maybe it's the way your eyes sparkle and how your smile makes every one around you feel like they are in the presence of and angel. It would explain the glow you have.

-You could be an angel and somewhere in my mind I know you were sent to be with me. That may be it, although unlikely.

These are all likely and possible. Well… most any way. But the point I'm trying to make is that I could imagine what my life would be like if you weren't in it. I just wonder what you would think of me after you find out that I love you.

Would you still be my friend? Would we be more than friends? Or would you leave me standing alone to fight the world?

You answer means so much to me you couldn't possibly know. Cause I couldn't stand the thought of you not being there with me through the hard times. You not being there would crush me.

All of this proves that my need to hold you is so strong that it's close to unbearable. And someday maybe, just maybe, I'll wake up from a dream of you and find that the real thing is laying in my arms.

You never know, dreams do come true.

A/N well it was just my rambling on about a certain someone that I've had a crush on for the longest time. If you don't like well that's just you cause I for one like it and that's all that matters. But if you like please review and say so cause I will do more pointless rambling.