A/N: I am sorry for my long absence but as it were my old computer crashed and was beyond repair so I've had to wait since the beginning of November for a new one. But now I have a new tower so I can continue on with my writing, sorry for the long wait.
Rhondda, Wales. April 2004, 11:49 GMT
It was nearing midnight and still there had been no real word on Chris's condition. They must have all been sitting there for a good eight or nine hours, Reese wasn't sure, he had lost all sense of time pretty much straight away. None of them had really spoken; although it was clear they were all thinking the same things and asking themselves the same questions.
Chris was just naturally withdrawn, or so Reese had always thought, he had never imagined him to be suicidal though, it was just something that had never crossed Reese's mind when he thought about Chris and yet right now it didn't seem all that surprising. Reese would be the first to admit he often groaned about his working class life where every member of his family had to work just to get by, but he knew he would have his life over Chris's any day. Something about Chris's parents set Reese on edge; they seemed to him so plastic and lived in a showroom house with their showroom lives of respectable jobs in the city. It seemed that Chris and his older brother were merely accessories to make their parents look good, they were forced to get good grades and to be smart and respectable. Reese was sure Chris had never really been a child; he probably had never done child things when he was younger.
Then there was that brother of his.
Reese shuddered at the thought. Chris's brother was one of those things god set on the earth to make you feel uncomfortable. Jason was a creep in every sense of the word, he was the type of person who used to pull the wings off flies when he was little and peek into the girl's toilets when he was a teenager. They never saw much of Jason thankfully; he was significantly older than Chris and was currently in university studying to be a doctor of some kind. But when he was around it seemed that the world had become a horrible place, and just the thought of being related to him made Reese feel physically sick. It was pretty obvious that Jason saw Chris as a threat, before Chris was born it was Jason who got all the praise, it was him that their parents would show off to all their high-class friends at all their high-classed do's, then Chris came a long and that all changed and boy Jason hated Chris for it.
It seemed Chris had it pretty tough, even if he had what ever he wanted, or rather he had everything a smart respectable boy from a smart and respectable family could possibly want. During the week he studied hard and got good grades, on the weekend he had to sneak out of the house just so he could go to band practices, his parents didn't know that he owned a bass because he kept it around Mike's or that he played in a band, they always thought that he was around someone's studying, not that it was hard to lie, after all on the weekends his parents were usually off spending the day with one of their showroom friends in their showroom homes in some part of the country side of suburban Cardiff.
It was no wonder Chris was so miserable though, and really, thinking about it now, Reese didn't seem all that surprised Chris had tried to kill himself; he was just amazed he had lasted as long as he had.
Jamie returned from the front desk again for the fifth time in two hours. The look on his face made it clear that Chris's parents still hadn't arrived from their business trip and that Jason was naturally unavailable. The blonde watched his own brother sit down next to Mike who had been unnaturally quiet through out the whole evening. Reese was glad that his brother was nowhere near as bad as Jason, he was glad he didn't have a showroom life where he was forced to be a smart and respectable boy by his high-class parents who liked to live plastic lives, and he even more glad for the fact that it wasn't him lying in a hospital bed after trying to take his own life.
But he wasn't glad for Chris.
"This is getting ridiculous," Jake muttered under his breath, finally speaking up. "When are we going to get to see him?"
"I don't know," Reese replied quietly. "I suppose when the doctor comes to see us."
"They'll only let family in anyway," Hayden spoke up shrugging a little. "Which, by the way, isn't any of us."
"I think we all know doofus," Jake rolled his eyes. "But he's our friend and I want to know that he's okay."
"He just slashed his wrists open, Jake," Jamie spoke up from his side of the waiting room. "The last thing he is going to be is okay."
"I know that, I'm not stupid Jamie," Jake muttered rolling his eyes.
"'Could have fooled me."
"Oh go fuck yourself!"
"Would you two just shut up?" Reese snapped glaring at the pair. "There are more important things to worry about than your stupid school boy arguments alright? Unless you have something decent to say then I suggest you both piss off."
The look on both of their faces said it all. Clearly Reese's temper was out doing theirs and they were perhaps too afraid to speak out of turn again. At least Reese didn't have to listen to anymore of their snipes, and everyone could concentrate on worrying about Chris and praying they'd get to see him some time soon.
Luck seemed to be on their side finally, the doctor who had supposedly working on Chris's case finally made an appearance looking as tired at the boys felt but looking like he was baring some good news. Everyone seemed to perk up at the sight of the man in green scrubs, their attention focusing solely on him as if he was the keeper of all the answers they needed. In a way he was, but in a more literal way.
"Are you the ones waiting for Mr. Richardson?" The doctor asked as he finally came to halt in front of them.
"Yeah," Jake nodded and cleared his throat. "Yeah, we're his friends. Is he okay?"
"Well he suffered muscle damage due to how deep the cuts were and he lost a lot of blood but he's going to be okay." The doctor nodded, smiling softly. "He is very lucky, but we are keeping him in for the night, then tomorrow we will decide what the best thing to do is."
"What do you mean?" Reese frowned, suddenly not liking where this conversation was going.
"All attempted suicides or self harm cases have to be reported to the social services. It'll be up to them to decide how to handle Chris's case and what further treatment will be needed."
"You mean like therapy and shit?" Jake asked, looking confused and perhaps a little angry, it was hard to tell because Jake's expression seldom changed.
"It's a possibility," The doctor nodded. "But for now you're free to see him, but keep it short, he needs all the rest he can get."
After that everyone fell silent, but agreed to visit Chris to see if he was okay. The doctor simply showed them to his room, reminded them not to be too long before disappearing, probably to attend to another patient. Standing outside the hospital room door, everyone suddenly felt unsure and awkward. None of them knew how to act, after all none of them had ever had to deal with someone they knew trying to kill themselves and even though they knew Chris probably didn't want to see them anyway, they just wanted to show him they cared by being there.
"Maybe Mike should go in first," Jamie finally spoke up when no one made an attempt to go in.
"Me?" The taller boy looked shocked, almost like a deer caught in the headlights of an eighteen wheeler.
"Well you are his best friend," Jamie pointed out in a slow voice. "I don't think he'd appreciate us all barging in there."
Reese could see that Mike wanted to argue, as weird as that seemed. Perhaps seeing his friend lying in a hospital bed with his wrists all bandaged up was a little too much for Mike to handle. Still, even if it was with reluctance, he nodded a little before moving for the door, knocking weakly before cracking the door open and slipping in.
When the door shut again those that remained seemed to slump, breathing out heavy sighs of relief and exhaustion. Guilt flooded Reese as he looked at the others slowly, wondering if they felt the same for chickening out and shoving Mike in at the deep end with no one to be there with him. He felt selfish for letting Jamie use such a terrible excuse and not standing up to what was scaring him and follow Mike into the room.
But if anyone knew Chris, it was Mike.
"I should probably get going," Hayden finally spoke up again running a hand through his now messy hair. "My parents are probably freaking out because I'm not home."
"Okay," Reese nodded a little giving his best friend a small hug as a good bye. "I'll you tomorrow."
"Thanks," Hayden smiled a little, looking tired and washed out before kissing Jamie good bye and disappearing down the sterile hall.
That just left Reese with the two arguing boys who seemed to be sulking at the fact Reese had yelled at them. Sighing, the blonde decided to go find somewhere to get a coffee from, not wanting to leave the hospital until he was sure Chris was okay but unable to keep his eyes open due to being so tired. He knew that leaving Jamie and Jake alone in this state would only lead to arguments but the fact was he didn't care, they needed to get over it, he had after all and even then it wasn't exactly any of Jamie's business, it was his body and his choice. Anyway it was over now, it was in the past so they were just going to have to forget it and forgive each other eventually.
Finding a vending machine, Reese tiredly put in some money, or rather what he had left on him and hit the button for coffee. It would have been convenient if the coffee wasn't sold out, or the tea, or the soup, but as it were the machine held no drinks, someone had clearly forgotten to refill it meaning Reese was without a coffee. Grumbling, he considered making a complaint or even looking for another vending machine but both involved effort and he was just too tired. Kicking the machine miserably, he collected his money and headed back down the hall to find Jamie and Jake and hopefully see Chris so he could go home and lay awake worrying about Chris in his own bed.
"Where'd you go?" Jamie asked when Reese returned to waiting outside of Chris's hospital room.
"To get coffee, believe it or not the vending machine had sold out of everything." Reese grumbled, resting back against the wall. "Where's Jake?"
"He went home."
"You two didn't argue again did you?"
"No! He was upset about something and just left, if I had known he going to be this emotional over Chris I wouldn't have been so harsh on him." Jamie shrugged a little seeming confused and tired.
"Yeah well he reacts in weird ways," Reese replied shrugging a little and sighing. "Mike come out yet?"
"No," Jamie shook his head, stifling a yawn barely. "I think we're gonna have to drag him out so Chris can rest."
"You're probably right." Reese nodded a little.
It fell silent between the brothers for a few minutes; both of them waiting patiently hoping Mike would come out soon so they could leave the horrible place.
"Can I ask you something?" Jamie finally spoke up making Reese jump a little.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Why Jake?"
Reese frowned a little in confusion, tilting his head a little. "Huh?"
"Why Jake, why did you decide to sleep with him?"
Reese shrugged a little not really thinking about it, he didn't need to really because he didn't know the answer. From the beginning he couldn't understand why he had decided to sleep with Jake, he didn't even know why he chose to sleep with Jake but he had done, and it had been a good experience even if things had ended in a rather rocky manner.
"I don't know," He admitted, stifling a yawn. "I guess, because in some way I trust him enough to do that sort of thing with him."
"Oh," Jamie nodded looking a little surprised. "He didn't hurt you did he?"
"What? No!" Reese shook his head. "What kind of stupid question is that huh?"
"The kind a protective older brother who cares, asks," Jamie dead panned.
Reese actually found himself smiling at the comment, feeling oddly comforted by the fact Jamie was concerned about his welfare, it was just a shame Chris had nobody in his family like that.
"Jamie, honestly if he had hurt me I would have said something, but he didn't hurt me okay, so would you please cut him some slack, he's got enough to worry about as it is." Reese pleaded, looking at his brother desperately.
"Alright, I'll speak to him in the morning and apologise…kinda…" Jamie sighed looking too tired to really argue with Reese much to the younger brother's delight.
"Thank you," Reese smiled, hugging his brother before looking at his watch. "C'mon we better drag Mike out and get home before they kick us out or something."
"Yeah," Jamie nodded in agreement, managing to give Reese a quick hug before he turned around and knocked on the door lightly, pushing it open.
Mike looked up from his seat by Chris's bed side looking disappointed to see the brothers there. Chris wasn't awake, and yet even in his sleeping state he still looked troubled and afraid of the world. While Mike looked tired and worried, Chris looked almost dead; his skin pale and whole body limp. It was a sight that made Reese want to turn away, especially when he saw the bandages and the blood seeping through them a little still. It didn't really surprise Reese that they had used the restraints, he had seen in movies and read in books that they usually bound suicide patients to the bed just in case they tried to kill themselves again.
"Hey," Reese was the first to speak, smiling a little. "How is he?"
"Hasn't woken up while I've been here," Mike replied, his voice hoarse probably from crying. "I didn't want to disturb him anyway."
"Probably for the best, he must be exhausted," Jamie replied this time shifting beside Reese. "Anyway, it's getting late, we really should get home, I don't think the doctor will appreciate us being here."
Mike was reluctant to go, it was evident and Reese couldn't blame him but they all needed some serious rest.
"You can come in again in the morning, I'll even come if you want, but you really need to get some sleep Mike," Reese tried to reason with the look Mike was giving them.
"I guess you're right," Mike sighed, shifting a little. "I am pretty tired."
The brother's nodded in agreement, waiting by the door and Mike said goodnight to Chris, before slowly pulling himself away from Chris's bedside. Shutting the door softly, none of them said anything as they headed for the exit and Mike's car, each knowing that despite how tired they were, none of them would be getting any sleep.