I got this idea from a reviewer. I'm admitting that right here and now, so bite me. Here are some things I hear in daily life.

"Good times." -Various People

"Good times, great prices, Wal-Mart." -Me

"I was once bitten by a werewolf. Sure, it was only 1'5" and looked like a rat, but it was a werewolf. It isn't than damned chi-wow-huh that people keep telling me it was." -Me

"Eet ees my goal is life to find the greatest leemon eva!" -Connor

"So many leemons, yet still, not the greatest!" -John (my friends and I kinda went on a lemon tangent last year. don't ask)

"Ya' know, it's times like these I really wish I didn't know you." -Me

"Harrison, I don't want any of your organs inside of me. (waits two seconds) Oh, no, no, not like that!" -Close, Personal Friends Who's Name I Won't Put Here

"Private, say what you were trained to say!" "Sir, no sir!" "Say it, private!" "Sir, I am your bitch!" "Finish it, private!" "... Sir!" -Me

"Beatfest!" -Allen

"Oh look, flood." (huge explosion) "Not anymore!" -Me, John

"More where that came from." -Various Skaven Generals

(sniper rifle shoots John 117 in the groin) "Ha! I shot you in the balls!" (John 117 blows two holes in Samuel 34's head) "Ha ha! The joke is on you, for I have no genitals!" -Sam, Me

"Ga! Zombies!" -John

"And dare I say it ..." (makes spanking hand motion) -Me


"Ever wonder if the world is still there when you close your eyes?" -Me

"I only will tell a girl that I love them under two circumstances: A) one of us is about to die or B) we just had sex (I don't want her to think I just said it to get into her pants, so it out to seem more sincere when I already have)." -Me

"I have ... your pants." -Conor

"John, I may be small and weak, but still, elves are pansies." -Me

"Tommy, you may outnumber me and outgun me, but you must remember one thing: elves are pansies." -Me

"I don't like elves. Ya' know why? They're pansies!" -Me

"OK, elf boy. Your pansy ass is mine." -Me (you get how I feel about elves by now)

"Espanzo: He is far too sexy to seen by mortal eyes." -Me (regarding Espanzo, our Spanish sex symbol)

"Five bucks say that he blows himself up." "Deal." -Me, Sam (regarding John with a rocket launcher)

"The record has been updated." -Me (inside joke)

"The wall is covered in herpes." -Ryan

"Two more weeks until the 'operation'." -Daniel (a.k.a.: Daniele)

"You know, I never thought that my first rejection by a girl would be from one wearing a skirt on the outside of her pants, mismatched gloves, and a tiara." -Me

"It's a MAN!" -Me and John (at once while flailing hands wildly and flinging ourselves forward)

"Do you like rainbows (makes rainbow hand motion) or do you like rainbows with pizzazz!? (makes rainbow hand motion and does a sideways pelvic thrust)" -D.J. and Paul (at once)

"Gah! Hannah's skin!" -Connor

I hope that this is enough to keep those anticipating more pastry-stroking satiated for the weekend. Sorry 'bout the writing again!