The Day the Cookies Attacked Metro
By Mo
And yes, I have no life.


It was a fine, fair day at...Metro. The clouds were shining and the sun was puffy...and I totally got that backwards! Nevermind. Anywho, one day I went to school. Really! I did go to school, ask my teachers if you don't believe me.
Okay sides that, I am best friends with a blonde, Sarah, and a...thing Ashley. She, being Ashley, likes shinies. and cookies, but mostly shines. Oh! and Dane too but she still mostly likes shinies. Anywho back to the topic at hand, I went to school.
At school, I went to band. Amazing, huh? The thing is...our band is "interesting" insert out-of-tune weird music. Yeah...we're very interesting. Well, after band I met up with Sarah and my minions/freshmen came to flock around me. Yes, I Own freshmen. Seven of them in fact. Yes, anywho, I love life. Do you love life? I love life because I own seven freshmen.
Moving on, Minion Number One tackled Ashley. But today...Ashley had a herd of cookies following her. Flesh-eating chocolate chip cookies WITH sprinkles to be exact (boy is that a mouthful!) Needless to day, I tried to eat one. Details on next page.

Okay, so you know how I tried to eat that cookie? Well! It bit back! Now let me tell you, it was rough getting that cookie down my throat. I had to stomp on it! Beat it down! Even sit on it! Before it became feeble enough to be eaten! Though it was slightly a pile of crumbs…but that is beside the point! BECAUSE I ATE IT! Let me assure you, that I did! I just shoved it all in my mouth and chewed away. And what a heavenly cookie it was too! Though…It wasn't as good as my mom's cookies…By the way, have I mentioned that I went to school?
"You ate my cookie!"
I tilted my head. "But it walked right up to me and said 'eat me, Mo, I am yours!'"
"It did not! It said 'bow down to the GREATNESS that is Ashley! She is the QUEEN of Cookies, you good-for-nothing hobo! Prepare to be cookie-ified!"
I blinked. "Oooo! So –that's- what it meant! All well!"
Ashley hissed at me. Her cookies just glowered at me, trying to be evil. And wow, let me tell you! Cookies that glower are so adorable! I just wanted to scoop one right up and snuggle it! Then of course eat it.
But yeah, then Ashley's cookies just got mean! (Did I mention that they were evil?) They all pounced on my bandmates and started to nibble on them! Though I do say, it was amusing to watch people being eaten by cookies. I mean, come on! Just imagine that! Gee, now I'm hungry…

Back to the topic, cookies. Okay the cookies were eating people right? Now, I know that's a bad thing…well sometimes, but I mean it really was funny! Sarah just kinda stood there, with her head titled, going "Huh…that's new." My minions were well…being minion-ish. They just all gathered around me and we started talking. Yes, we were totally oblivious to the destruction of our school and Ashley's evil laughter but that's just us.
"We must help!" One of my minions cried out.
"But this is amusing!" Minion Number Three said, grinning evilly as she does.
"I agree!" I piped up. Minions One and Two agreed too. My other minions just kinda stood there looking happy like usual. We were a happy group. Nothing is ever bad or horrible because there are cookies in the world!
Oh, wait! The cookies were attacking Metro…Okay…let me rethink this!
"Maybe we should help…" I voiced. The Cookies had slightly moved onto the 1st hour Sophomore PE Class. Most of the class was gone, along with Mr. Redden. Where they were, I couldn't say…I wasn't really sure how the cookies ate people. But then the bell for 1st hour rang. It was class time! I left, totally in my own little world, as I ventured off to Chemistry.

So, I know it wasn't wise to just leave. But that's what I do. I just get sidetracked…Did I tell you I went to school? Anywho, I get into Chemistry and I see my usual other three classmates. We all say 'hi' as shrieks rise from the hallways. I just hum happy little tunes in my head as my classmates wonder what in the world those sophomores were up to this time.
Did you know that Ashley can laugh very evilly when she wants to? She wandered into my classroom, jumped onto a table, and shouted "I AM THE QUEEEEEN OF THE COOKIES!" And then ran away.
I just shrugged and continued my happy blissness. La la la la la.
"Mo!" Minion Number One poked me.
"DADDY!" Minion Number Two shouted as she tackled me.
"This is amusing." Minion Number three stated sadistically.
"I LOVE MY LIFE!" I jumped onto Minion Number Two and laughed. That's when I noticed the cookies were slightly nibbling on my shoe. I have green and gold shoes like my school colors! They're so pretty but this horrible cookie was eating it! "NOOO!" I stomped on the cookie but more kept coming!
"HELP!" Shouted my remaining three minions (it seems my others at disappeared on me).
Sarah slammed a basketball on three cookies. "I didn't think cookies could be this scary!" She threw her basketball and killed a few more. "I don't like this game…DIE!" She stomped on a cookie that was sucking the air out of her basketball. "Well, that's just great! ASHLEY!" And I'm just gonna stop there for now, I need a drink.

Continuing, I went to school. It was fine day and quite nice out. The only bad thing was that well, there were flesh eating cookies in my school and they had definitely somehow eaten almost the entire sophomore class and a few teachers. Kinda a bad thing, ya know?
Well anywho, I was in the Chemistry room with Sarah and my three minions. Sarah had just lost her basketball, I had a hole in my shoe, and my minions were totally just…there. But in a good way.
"I wonder if I should eat them…" I poked a 'dead' cookie. It bit my finger! "Or not…they'll make me sick!" I stomped the cookie into the ground until it was powder. It STILL bit me! Curse it!
"WEEE! SHINIEEEES!" Ashley pranced past our room with cookies trailing behind her.
Sarah and me just looked at each other. "She's going down!" Sarah dashed off. I just came along, slowly but surely, with my minions in tow. They were slightly latched onto me like usual.
Anywho, I found Sarah slightly surrounded by cookies with Ashley standing on top of the Gym commence table, dancing about.
I'm sorry but Ashley was starting to annoy me. I mean, I like destruction just as must as the next person but I really did like my school. Which I was at, by the way! See! I DON'T SKIP SCHOOL!

Yes, Ashley had to go. It was as simple as that.
I pulled out my mother's famous cookies. "Ashley! I got…cookies!"
Her eyes lit up. "Dane?"
"Uh, cookies."
"I want DANE!"
"Cookie?"
"DANE!"
I rolled my eyes. "Fiiiine." But then I remembered that Dane went to CM. Hmm. That was a problem. Instead I had a brilliant plan! I would send my minions! "MINIONS! ATTACK!"
…but no, they just stayed latched onto me. Sigh. It's hard to find good help these days.
So I pulled out my secret weapon. The puppy eyes.
"Ashleeey." Puppy eye attack attackness! "Ashleeey, call off the cookies. Pleeeease. And can I have a dollar for a soda?"
She just looked at me like I had grown three heads. Well, I kinda did. My minions were doing very well with the puppy eyes too. Yeah…Minions…'nuff said.
That was when I noticed that cookies were a wee bit too close. They were on my legs.

So I left off with the cookies being on my legs. Yes, flesh eating cookies plus legs is not a good combo, let me tell you! But would you guess it? My four other minions appeared!
"ATTTAAACK!" Shouted Minion Number Five. Four through Seven attacked the cookies with baseball bats, those funny weight balls that Mr. Thompson has, and Chemistry books. And strangely enough, the Chemistry books were the most effective. Who would've guessed that Chemistry kills cookies.
While my Minions attacked, I stalked towards Ashley. Well, as best as I could, my OTHER minions still would not let go of me. Correction, Three just rolled her eyes and went off to sit in a corner and read a book. One and Two just stayed…attached to me like burrs.
Well, Sarah slightly got to Ashley first. The blonde tackled the…thing to the ground. The cookies just parted as Sarah sat on Ashley. It was really rather funny. But yeah, then the cookies all attacked Sarah. Together.
"WAIT! NO! BAD COOKIES! MINE!" Queen Ashley shouted at the cookies, which had attacked Sarah. "I AM THE QUEEEEEN LISTEN TO ME!" But they did not.
So I came to the rescue! Mostly. I pounced on top of Sarah and just ATE my way through the cookies! I bit, I chomped, and I chewed until Sarah was free! And by then, well, the cookies had back off.
"I HAVE MILK AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!" Shouted Minion Number Three. Did I mention that she was a very resourceful minion? One and Two were behind her, armed with more milk. Once again my other minions were gone. Like usual.
The cookies all shrieked and rushed around as my minions flung the milk all around! It got everywhere! Not a cookie was left alive!
Have I mentioned that I love my minions?

So after my minions had saved the day, Sarah, Ashley, and I just looked at each other. We had no idea what do to next. I mean, what would you do if cookies attacked your school and your best friend was their Queen?
"Sooo…" Sarah started.
"Yeah…" Ashley mumbled.
"COOKIES!" I shouted, getting looks for everyone. Not good looks either. I think they wanted to kill me. All well! Weeee!
"So this whole thing happened-" Sarah tried state but I jumped in "because I was hungry!"
Ashley just rolled eyes. "You know, one day your eyes are just going to roll right out of your head." Sarah said.
"All I wanted was Daaaane…"
"That's all you ever want anymore."
"That's not MY fault! I didn't want to come to school! I WANT DANE!"
While they argued about Ashley's motives, I wandered to the locker rooms to grab my PE clothes. And lo and behold! All the sophomores (and the few missing teachers) were locked in the girl's locker room!
Fun, huh? So let us recap. Ashley is the Queen of the cookies and she led an attack on the school because she felt like it. Sarah is a blonde. My Minions are wonderful and saved the day. And I…WENT TO SCHOOL!

But there is an underlying scheme in this story. Hidden away in the Office Commence, playing her little calculator, is the evil Master of the World. She had waited patiently for this day for her plan was beginning to take form. First, she'll take over the school with cookies, then she'll go after America using shrubbery, and last she will have the world! By means of Audrey Two.
And you ask who this evil Master of the World is? Why, I shall tell you! She's Alicia Harry and let me assure you, you ARE under her control! YOU SHALL NOT ESCAPE! For she has put voodoo on your CD player and has stolen your soul! MWAHAHAHA!

And that was the day that cookies attacked Metro.

Did I mention that I went to school?


A/n: And this story is a result of avoiding a bball game while doing Algrebra 2 homework.
Hehehe. COOKIES!
Btw, if you notice the random breaks I have, they are cause they were on seperate pieces of paper, tehehe. Weeee!