Upeed onmee

The Toilet Of The Future Is Here! now!

Upeed Onmee will provide you with everything you need in a toilet. There's a magazine rack so you can easily get to all your reading material, a refrigerator so you can keep all the foods that you eat while you're in the bathroom, a microwave so you can heat up all the foods that you keep in the fridge that you eat while you're in the bathroom, an expresso machine so you can enjoy a nice cappuccino while you're on the Jon, and a television so you don't have to worry about missing your favorite show when your diarrhea kicks in.

Other interesting features of the Upeed Onmee include voice recognition so it knows who you are, four comfort settings so you can please your tooshy, and it even emits its own air freshener so you don't have to worry about evacuating the neighborhood.

Have a gas problem? No problem! When you sit down on a Upeed Onmee, it automatically silences any wind you break, gas you pass or cheese you cut, no matter how loud and stinky. And when you're all done, Upeed Onmee will wipe your anal pore for you, so you don't have to worry about that unnecessary, disgusting, yet curiously satisfying, burden. And it flushes automatically when you stand up.

Upeed Onmee is a must for any self respecting person who needs a good toilet. And it makes a great gift for a child or baby. So rush down to your localtoilete and buy one for only outlet andbuy one for only 1,000,000,000,000.00 plus tax. Hurry, they won't last long!

This has been a paid advertisement for the Upeed Onmee toilet. Paid for in full bySmelli-Butt and Co. Prices subject to change without notice. Nothing on this toilet will work and you cannot exchange it. No refunds available. So THERE!

A/N- OK, this is just something that I wrote at school last year, and I just found it and now, I'm uploading it think I should do another one? Let me know in a review if you do.


- The-Louder-Silence