It wasn't love at first sight.

Our meeting wasn't destiny or fate;

we were merely chaperones

for eachfriends' first date.

I liked that you seemed strong, independent and sensitive.

Circumstance and distance separated us but

we kept in touch through daily missives.

After five short months we were legally wed;

holding hands, kissing, snuggling and happy.

"The perfect couple," everyone said.

It didn't happen overnight.

The words and demeanor which had put me at ease

became cold, demeaning, full of rage.

Soon, just the sound of your voice caused me to freeze.

"Disgusting. Fat. Lazy. Stupid. Worthless."

The list was never-ending; it went on for years.

At parties you thought you were Prince Charming;

a liter of wine was a chaser to a six-pack of beer.

Always praying you would pass out and not demand

to exercise your "right" as my husband.

I knew in an instant

our marriage was over.

It wasn't any one thing, to speak of:

Your violent mood swings, the booze, your lovers.

I'd just finally had enough of not being enough.

I deserved better; the children, a home.

Disgusted to find you to be a shell of a man

and depressed to realize I've always been alone.

Now you want me to come back to you,

But now I know there's no one there to go back to.

There never was.