A/N ALICE

This is a very random and weird story written by me and four friends, during extremely boring commerce lessons. We had planned to try to write an actual story, but we lost our sanity after a few paragraphs, and this is the result. And I didn't bother to type up the first few paragraphs.

I still cringe whenever I reread this story, so I suggest closing this window immediately if you value your sanity. And the contents of this story are not things that go on in my mind. I am sane! I'm serious…don't look at me like that! I am sane! You might be offended by some of the content in this story, but please remember that it's not meant to be taken seriously, is R rated, and was not written with the intent of being read by others.

And please R&R! I spent ages typing this up, and I just want to know that people are actually reading this. Even if it's only a few words.

After this, don't take anything seriously…


HIRUNI
This story was written by 5 drunk guys after a wild night in the Caribbean.
© Alice, Bobbie Harshil, Sruti and Hiruni(rocks!).
R rated, contains heavy nudity, very course languages, and several rebirths of Nemo.

ALICE
Ara stared at her reflection in the river, feeling exhausted and bored. Suddenly, she stood up and screamed, "I love you Ara." And sitting back down, she listened to the echo, smiling. Someone loves me she thought, feeling warm and tingly inside. That's so wonderful. She sighed dreamily; she absentmindedly resumed staring at her reflection.

SRUTI
A dog barked, and she whirled around, snapping out of her reverie.
"Hi," growled the dog.
"H-hi," replied Ara, confused.
"You stink. Jump into the river!" And with these uplifting words, wings appeared from nowhere and the dog flew off into the sunset. Ara stared after it, wondering why she hadn't fainted yet.

BOBBIE
Ara jumped into the river
HARSHIL
and crashed into a hard clump of coral, cutting her leg severely.
"Argh!" she tried yelling, but all that came out were bubbles.
Blood started to spurt out, and she began to feel dizzy. Then, a fish started to swim towards her. Looks like a clownfish, she thought. And before she knew it, the fish had come up directly to her face. Must be hallucinating, she told herself. Then, the fish opened its mouth and said, "Hi, my name's Nemo. What's yours?"
SRUTI
"My name's chicken and you're gay," Ara muttered angrily.
"Chicken? Mmm…I like chicken!" said Nemo, grinning.
Suddenly, a rat-cat-thing came out of lala land and gobbled Nemo up.
"Hi chicken girl!" it shrieked.

ALICE
Then, it transformed into Mark Philippoussis. "I am an idiotic bastard who is currently dating a bitchy snobbish slut by the name of Paris Hilton."
"Ok then…" Ara whispered to herself.
"You know, I'm getting bored of Paris. But you…mmm…you have a nice body…mmm… Okay, come with me. I own a brothel, and you can be my new feature prostitute.
Grinning madly, he clicked his fingers. There was a flash of light, and then both Ara and rat-cat-transformed-Mark-Philippoussis were transported to
BOBBIE
"Philippoussis Prostitution Service" This was a small building. There were many strange noises coming from this building.
HARSHIL
"What the chicken!" Ara thought aloud.
The noises sounded like a TV with Jerry Springer on it on full blast Mark Philippoussis turned and said, "Actually, come to think of it, you're not sexy…you're hot!"
"Why thankyou," whispered Ara sexily, and ripped off her clothes, causing him to scream like a school girl.
"You're…you're…a guy!" he shrieked, clutching his hair.
"Well, isn't that what you wanted? I mean…hello…Paris looks like she ran into a wall and bounced off!"
All of a sudden, Mark Philippoussis turned into Nemo, and fell to the floor, gasping "Water! I need water!"
"What the fuck! You're…you're…you're alive!" Ara screamed, going red.
"I'll explain…later…find…water!"
So, as fast as she could, she ran to the river, and dropped him in.
"I said water! Not sewerage! You fool!"
And again, she picked him up and threw him into the ocean nearby.
"Ahh," he breathed, "that's better. Now I'll tell you. I'm a fish."
"And…? I don't get what you're saying."
"I'm a transsexual fish with magical powers."
ALICE
"But…oh…I'm so confused," Ara said, sighing. She closed her eyes, and concentrated on breathing evenly. Better. But the, she felt a cold wind pass her, and heard a loud, deep breathing coming towards her. Opening her eyes, she saw a person clothed in black from head to toe, and metal mask covering their face.
"Ara, I am your father"


You probably won't understand if you're not Australian. But basically… Mark Philippoussis is an Australian tennis player, who was Delta Goodrem's boyfriend. Then they broke up because of Paris Hilton. And everyone was like, OMG…and Philippoussis sort of had a hate club for a while, since heaps of people love Delta here. And yeah, this story was written when that happened. But there were heaps of sides to the story, so I'm not even sure of the details.

I still have like, six pages to type, so take pity on me, and please REVIEW! And the next chapter is way better…not as lame, and more things happen…and Nemo (ahem) gets killed a few times more. But we managed to bring him back in every time.

TYPING UP CHAPTER TWO! (don't forget about this story yet)