All I Wanted Was To Fit In

By Shadows Fury

AN: Well… what to say. This is a short story I wrote a long time ago for English class. I found it when cleaning out my room. Grins it's amazing what you can find sometimes. I've fixed it up a bit and decided to post it. I hope you like it cause I remember putting some effort into it. All reviews are welcome. Enjoy.

I never knew what it was like to be free, not until I met them. Everyday I would come home from school and do my homework, and went to bed not one minute past my curfew. That was my life then, trying to be daddy's little angel, and the straight A student I was brought up to be. What can I say about me now is simple, I changed. I'm not so sure "change" is the right word to use in my case. It's more like I reinvented myself… yes that sounds right. That's exactly what I did to fit in with them. Now you may be wondering who I'm talking about when I day "them." Before I tell you that you might want to know who I am first. So let's start from the beginning, the beginning of my little story.

My name is Alexis Grey… well actually my whole name is Savannah Alexandra Grey. My parents named me after my great, great, grand mother. I love my parents and all, but come on what kind of name is Savannah for a sixteen year old. Thanks mom and dad for making me an even bigger loser. I prefer if you'd call me Alexis or Alex instead, okay? Now that that's clarified let's move on. Like I said my name is Alexis Grey and I'm sixteen, and about 5'6. I have black hair and ice blue eyes. My eyes were the only trait I like that I had inherited from my parents. My parents are Serena and Damian Grey. Describing them is simple and I could do it in two words, their work alcoholics. Wait that's three isn't it….hmmmm o well. Because of this we tend to move around a lot. But even if their never home do to these "jobs" they still expect me to be everything they were at my age. Now come on, am I the only one who thinks that's just a little much, neh? Talk about the pressure. I blame them for me being an outcast, and a nobody. It's no wonder why I have such a low self esteem and even lower social status. It's like they made me what I am. But like I said that changed when I me them.

I think it was in November, a few months ago when once again we were moving. BIG SURPRISE! Excuse me if I wasn't jumping with joy. So this is where it all started, at Evergreen's Public School. Hah! You should have seen my parents faces when I told them that was the school I choose to go to. It was just a regular public school, full with regular students. Damn, it was priceless.

My first day of school as a new student, what fun. I got up early like everyday and got ready. Just my luck Mom suggested…more like full out told me to wear some elegant blouse and dress pants. I would have laughed in her face now, but then I did what I was told but wore a pair of nice jeans instead. After approval I headed for the door. The only thing I could do on my own then was driving, so that's what I did. When I had found a parking spot across from the school I headed straight for the main office. The principal welcomed me cheerfully. I guessed he recognized my name and decided to get on my good side due to my parents many rich employers. In other words, suck up to the girl with loads of cash. I hate to admit it, but he did a great job.

After my chat with the principal, which I still didn't know his name, I was taken to my new class room 216. That's where I met them. Well, some them at least. There were six of them at the time, and three of them were in my very own class. Sat at the back of the room were Toby Nial, Raven McKnight, and Jake Kingston. Each individual did what they liked, wore what they liked, and said what they like t o ANYONE! They were three of the most feared from all students at Evergreen. I did not fit into that ladder of fearing them. On the contrary, I respected them because I wanted to be one of them. If I knew then what wanting to be accepted as one of them would be, I would have feared them like the rest. I would have scurried away at their mere presence and would cower at their feet waiting to be told what to do. Of course I did no such thing. I might have been blinded by my desire to fit in, or maybe I was just plain stupid. Either way I paid the price in the end.

What happened next shocked the hell out of me. Raven started talking to me after class. Can you believe it? Neither did I. At the time we talked about music bands, you know teenage stuff. It seems we had a lot in common despite are appearances. She had dyed black hair with midnight blue streaks throughout, and more piercings than I could count. Yeah, you could say we were different, opposites even. But still I admired her, she was everything I wasn't and all that I wanted to be. Raven even introduced me to Jake and Toby. Jake had messy brown hair and the palest green eyes I have ever seen. He was pretty short for a guy and his clothes were at least three times too big which didn't help his height problem. Now Toby, how to describe him? Hmmm…he had really dark hair that resembled gray more than black and even darker eyes. He was very quiet, the one I trusted the most.

Over the next couple of weeks I hung out with them, we became friends. Now there were seven of us. The other three remaining members were Amber Eventide, a spunky skater. Benjamin Evans, somehow from this day on I will never know how he fit in with this crowd. He was more of a jock and shockingly a very intelligent one at that. But really, who am I to say how he fit in with the rest of them when I stood out the most. The question is how I fit in with them. That's a question I never considered till now. Last but certainly not somebody to be overlooked was Clay Michaels. Clay was the dark haired God of Evergreen's, and the most sought out bachelor of the entire school. He was also the smartest as well. He had the brains, the looks, and the brawn. Everyone loved him.

The seven of us were like a small gang, a clique even. We hung out at each others houses, and they brought me to the best parties. Anything we did together was always over the edge. During those weeks I changed. I got light blue and silver streaks in my hair when I west shopping with Raven and Amber. They helped me pick out clothes like they wore, and they even convinced me to get my eyebrow pierced. Can you believe it? Ma and Pa said they were going to rip the vile thing right out. It makes me think what they would have done if I got a tattoo. I didn't care then about what my parent's thought, their values, and beliefs were of no use to me anymore. I had friends, people who accepted me, wanted to be with me. I was wrong.

After awhile things were different…even for me at the time. At parties we started drinking, drinking a lot. When Clay passed me a beer, my first one at that, and said to have a try, I did. Who was I to say no? I wanted to fit in. I was a nobody without them and I knew it. I would do anything to stay in their crowd. Down went my first beer, but it wouldn't be my last, and other alcoholic drinks followed. By the time this was all over I could have opened my own bar with the knowledge of different drinks and how to mix them. They clamped me on the back and I continued to do what ever it took to hang out with them. And I did it without hesitation. I started drinking more, and my grades went down. Everything seemed to be one constant hangover, one big blur. My parents scowled at me and grounded me for a couple of weeks. Of course what did I care? My window was next to a large oak tree. How convenient. After my consumption of alcohol they got me trying different things. Mainly drugs. Now, I know I shouldn't admit her in "my story" or my version of it anyway, but hell what does it matter now. Yeah, I DID DRUGS, and more times than I'm proud of. Eventually I stopped showing up for most of my classes, stayed out till 2:00 am and got around to going home at like 4:00 am. My parents gave up on me. Nor did I think they would.

Then, that one day, those twenty-four hours is when I knew I couldn't go back to what I was. I was trapped, caged in like a small, frightened animal. It was exactly how I felt… scared, small, and all alone. I was trapped, backed up into a corner without an escape… and no where to go.

The seven of us went driving around the outskirts of town like always, nothing seemed weird to me about that. The only thing different was where we ended up. We came to a local convenient store. Jake took out what seemed to be seven black masks. You know the ones bad guys wore when they robbed places. I counted the masks again, then I counted how many of us there was. Seven. There were seven, one for everyone including…me. I was horrified and even more when they explained to me what the plan was. I was so shocked that I dropped the mask that was passed to me. Toby picked it up and pulled me aside, while the others got ready. His words will ever be burned in the back of my mind. He said and I quote, "If you want to be one of us, and hang with us, you will do this and not tell anyone. Do you understand Lexie?" I got really hot, and my head hurt so suddenly my vision blurred. Then I started sweating like crazy, and suddenly found my shoes very interesting. Toby grabbed my chin between two fingers roughly and lifted my gaze to meet his. He repeated what he said once again in a very low voice. His gaze was intense and I found myself unable to look away. I gulped down that little voice in the back of my head that was telling me not to do this. I chained it up along with my conscience and buried it in the back of my mind. I nodded my head and mumbled a small yes. Toby smiled at me, gave me a quick kiss on the lips and pulled the black mask over my head. He put his own on while he wrapped a possessive arm around my waist. We walked back to the rest of the guys who were finished. They smiled at me as well. I know you must think I'm a lunatic. Or maybe you think the drugs and alcohol have finally caught up to me to even consider what I was about to do. But like I said, I wanted to fit in.

I don't have to tell you what happened next. You can pretty much guess what went on, because I seriously don't want to explain it to you. Here I go again wasting time and paper on insignificant details. Now hoe I felt about doing it was different then I suspected. There was like…an exciting rush in me, but that voice in my head was back and stronger than ever. What we were doing was wrong, terrible even and I still wanted to fit in. Now I hate myself for going to far. Nor did the fact that what the others were doing looked like it had all been done before. It was so carefully planned out and precise.

After they saw how I handled my first illegal experience. Well that would be lying now wouldn't it? It was my third act if you counted the under aged drinking and the drugs. But eh…who's keeping count? I sure aren't. Back to what I was saying, after the robbery the gang took me along on other things they did when I wasn't around. We continued robbing places, broke into houses, vandalism, and the list goes on and on. I was surprised that we never got caught, not once. Yet the whole time all I could think about was that I wanted to fit in.

The last event that happened before I ended up here is…complicated. Cal and Toby came up with a plan for enough money for all of us to leave this retched town. We would make new lives; have new dreams, and a better future. We wouldn't be held down by are parents who couldn't possible understand us and never will.

We were at Clay's apartment and I sat there listening intently. Without any notice that voice was back once again. It got duller and duller as I forced it away again. We were going to rob my dad's company vault. Clay said it was perfect. I knew the building, I had access to they keys and I knew where exactly where the vault was located. Also the whole company employee's were gone on some weekend getaway. How he knew all this was beyond me. I didn't care at the time, and I also didn't care that it seemed to perfect. To him it was a foolproof plan. We would all meet there around midnight, me with the keys and the codes to disarm the alarms and shut of the security cameras.

When I got there only the guys were waiting. Raven and Amber were nowhere to be seen. I gave thought to this and all Clay said was not to worry about it. Everything was fine he said. I entered the codes for the alarms and we all headed inside. I gave Toby and Sam the code to shut off the cameras. They went off on the path I said to take where they wouldn't be seen. Jake stayed at the entrance as a look out. It was Clay's and my job to get the money.

Before we got to my father's office, where the vault was, Clay said he heard something. Before I could tell him I didn't hear anything he had already pushed the duffel bags he carried into my hands. He told me to get the money and meet him back at the entrance. My hands were shaking when I opened the vault. There was so much money in there. I'm laughing now. How could I have thought to get away with what I was doing? After shoving all the money in the bags I made my way back to the entrance. Halfway there I heard a loud crash. I panicked and started clutching the bag like it was my last lifeline. Let me tell you this, I was never very athletic and could hardly run once around the track without getting tired. The mere thought of running gives me cramps. But I ran, and I ran fast. I ran so fast and hard that I ended up bumping right into Jake. We both tumbled to the ground. I was relieved when I notice I was back at the entrance. Jake helped me up onto slightly shaky legs. Toby and Sam appeared behind him and we all waited. Five minutes later Clay showed up. He smiled real big at me and then his smile turned to a smirk in seeing what I was holding. I asked him what that noise was. His smirk only broadened and replied that it was nothing. He proceeded to take the bags from me saying, "Thanks for the help Lexie, but we need to go now." Before I could understand his words, I was hit hard from behind. I laid there my head throbbing. I had no idea what was going on. The last thing I saw and heard was Toby bending over me saying we couldn't have done it without me, and he wished it didn't have to be this way. With one last kiss and he was gone. Then it was darkness. Complete and udder darkness. I had blacked out, but faintly my mind registered a loud ringing sound as I was passing out. It sounded just like an alarm.

When I woke up I had a huge headache. All I could see were bright lights and voices around me. For a minute I thought it was all in my head. Then my vision focused and my mind cleared. I was in a police station, cuffed to a couch I was lying on. Two policemen told me I was arrested for the theft of over millions of dollars. My mouth opened and closed like a cold fish. All I could accomplish was staring at him. They showed me all the evidence. It seems one camera was left on, recording everything I did. It was the one where I took the path to get to the vault when Clay had disappeared right before then. My fingerprints were everywhere…but no one else's. Just mine alone. That's when it hit me, Clay's words and…Toby's. They set me up. The officers kept talking, but I wasn't listening. I was off in my own little world. The words "they set me up" kept going threw my head. It made sense now. If I had paid attention on my first day of school I would have seen Toby, Raven, and Jake whispering, nodding at me, and then laughing. It would explain why they became friend with someone like me, and why they were always laughing at some inside joke they only knew.

How stupid I was to think they would actually accept me for who I was. All they wanted was to use me. Once my purpose was achieved I was of no use to them any more. Still, for most of what happened I blamed…myself. Yes, I would take they blame. I could have walked away anytime. I could have pretended to have nothing to do with them. I could have even told someone…anyone about what they did. But I didn't. I did everything they told me to do with a nod of my head and with little remorse. Now I would guess there miles away from here. They wouldn't even care that I'm sitting here with two officers reading this over my shoulder. They told me to write down everything that happened from the beginning, so I'm doing just that. I don't know why I am at all. They won't believe me anyways. They couldn't possible understand. All I wanted was to fit in.